Regret

Silence of me

 Absorbing her words

Her actions dig a deeper hole

I blink

I brace

I set fire to her thought

Eyes low

I glance at my shadow being strangled

Sighs of regression

Fictional passion tickles my heart

Fairy dust on my words

My hands project lightening at dawn

Inhaling my thoughts just to breathe out each moment with her across the sky’s twighlight

Years too late

I’m learning there is regret despite all the mantras to make the ignorant feel better about their life

Venus watches my every evening move

I never knew till her

Has she cursed me?

Has my past damned me?

Has my present made her laugh?

She is the epitome of manipulation

Omniscient and vindictive

I set indifference in her attempts

God is your false despair

Organized religion makes me sick

This time we share as humanity is immune deficient

Breaking down

It’s a tumor eating away at your memories

At your life’s efforts

At loves lasting hold

Till the very last eye drop to feed her

I can’t much more

I feel so much

Leave me be

Leave me be

Leave me be

I think

I was born with a wounded spirit

Old as I feel

I know a woman was catalyst to my demise

So what is this life meant for?

F*****g someone

F*****g your art

F*****g your work

Gluttones gratification for a selfish necessity

We revel in our own grandeur of delusions

Still too afraid to kill myself

Wonder how it will happen

I really wonder how it did happen

How did we fall in love the first time?

Was it right?

Did people oppose?

Did we really escape somewhere together?

I think we never did

I think we sat next to the same cell wall

Star crossed

Only able to see each falling light we manifested

Broken

I talk of damaged women

I am so damaged

I am so wounded

Just from this life

Just from how I have let things get to me

But it hasn’t ever just been that

It has been searching for her with my monocular’s broken lens

I sink my canvas of her thought into my own abyss

My own vapid void of loss

Sneaking away to moments absurdity in the sense that it shares no similarity to anyone elses but my own

I sit as an angel on a stoop

In the favor of no one

I am my own destruction

Demons weigh me down

I’ll never break your heart if you don’t give me a reason

I am the nicest son of b***h you’ll meet

Concise but honest

Hendrix is my patience

I am my own passion

Kisses in meaning

Kisses in streets

I can’t be part of our own subterfuge

I l break down when I think of your minutes passing

I am not fair to care for your attention

One day my love

It will not be me

I see my own words fading as I say them

You never believed them

How the hell am I supposed to keep them true from my heart?

When your eyes don’t absorb my love

My pride will not allow it

I can’t be what you need I tell myself

I kick away your memory

I break my heart as the darkest mirror shows my light

Joint lit

Her imploding star lights up my tears like the color spectrum through a crystal

They never touch the ground

I paint her in my mind

Her curves

Her words

Her soul

I never thought love would end this way

Maybe I needed someone to actually care

I’m sorry to think you are sad over me

I am just a boy

I am just another boy

I am sorry to have kept you away from your purpose.

Remember remember remember everything

If not in your heart let the elephant on your ankle take the burden

I’m a mess tonight

Quite the kiss off

I fell in love with you

I won’t ever regret that

Regret

Regret

Regret

We will.

But not falling in love with you.

 

Reviews

[Lilith]

Though this wasn't my favorite piece of yours, I still thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
It really makes me think, makes me wonder.
Nice work.