Chapter 1: Tides of fear

Totenstein

That which kills us makes us stronger

Chapter 1: Tides of fear

 

Soon I’ll be dead like the rest of them.

I deserve much worse than this cold lonely end.

Let it be known that I was the one to blame, the Willard murders, the Saint Antece fire and the Corath Massacre was just the start.

Please forgive me.

 

Address: [email protected]

Subject: Initial investigation into murder case (Wainwright inlet, Alaska)  

From: [email protected]

 

I’m snowed in at medical shack right now. This storm has hit Wainwright pretty hard, but the doctor assured me that every message will send as soon as the weather clears up. I apologize in advance if you get a bunch of emails at once but this really can’t wait.

 

So yeah…, Hi Jenny,

 

It’s still okay to call you Jenny isn’t it? I’d like to think you hadn’t let all that power go to your head since the promotion. 

 

Remember the day before I came to Wainwright, you said that this frozen crapshoot had nothing but bootleggers and payday riots?

 

Well in a kind of bittersweet way, I’d say you were wrong.

 

This isn’t an official report, but since you’re a superior officer I’m not breaking regulations by sharing my findings. Also your email is the only one I can remember off the top of my head since I’ve only been here 2 weeks.

 

It started like the yesterday, and the day before that, sat alone in the front office of the Police department with my legs up on the desk, playing a dangerous game of teetering chair. It was the most excitement I got since we hadn’t had a call all week.

 

The dark season turned this place into nothing but a ghost town (just like you said it would). I’d look out the window and see rows of empty shacks and frozen Car-cicles.

 

My ‘superior’ thought it would was a good idea to sneak home early before the weather got worse. He even had the gall to leave a note on his desk with orders to sleep at the station tonight, just in case the other two officers don’t make it for shift-change.

 

I was beginning to think you were right about this place until a bell on the wall nearly deafened me. The sign underneath it said ‘shipping channel’ so I walked into the radio room and found the console lit up like a Christmas tree.

 

“Hello?” said this faint voice.

 

My thumb pressed against the microphone switch. “This is Sergeant Price of the Wainwright police department, what’s your situation, over?”

 

“It’s an emergency….” The voice got fainter every second. “Latitude: 70.622. Longitude: -159.944. There isn’t much time, hurry!”

 

He cut out after that, I couldn’t even radio another ship in the area. A glance at the chart next to me put those coordinates inside the Wainwright inlet, which is usually frozen this time of year. I guessed a ship must have drifted into it and become beached by the ice flow.

 

I followed procedure and tried to call my boss, but the phone line was dead too. There was only one way to know for sure, lives could have been at stake. I jumped out the chair, put on the thickest jacket imaginable then marched right out into the snow.

 

There’s a local musher named Tony Andrews that my boss mentioned. Apparently we let him slide on bootlegged rum charges as long as he lets us use the dogsled. The coot fell off his stool when I forced his front door open. I kind of felt sorry for the old guy, he acted so frail behind that bushy grey beard.

 

“Mr Andrews, my name is Karen Price, I’m one of the new officers in town and I need you to take me to the side of the inlet.”

 

“Inlet, have you seen the weather out there lady?”

 

“Listen Mr Andrews, lives may be at stake, the radios are down and we have a possible emergency. Or perhaps I should just lock you up for that bottle of whiskey under the bed?”

 

“An emergency you say? I’m all too happy to help.”

 

That old fart suddenly acted like a kid at Christmas as set off along the banks. I’d wipe my goggles to see this crazy smile on his face with each thump of the sled as his dogs kicked up the trail of snow at us.

 

After two terrifying hours we arrived at the edge of the inlet with our destination clear as day, even in the storm. A huge cargo ship sat frozen in the ice, completely dark from bow to stern.

 

“We’ll head across slowly, a ship that size could break free at any moment,” said Tony.

 

The dogs steered us over the surface. Ice cracked under our weight and the hull of the ship echoed against the pressure. My eyes turned to focus on something, anything, which is when I saw the name of the ship, ‘New Venture’

 

Something terrible happened there. Right in front of us was this massive hole, ripped clean through the steel.

 

“It’s a good thing it’s so cold. Otherwise it would have sunk.” Tony voice sounded nervous.

 

“How do we get on-board?”

 

“Look around the hull, there’s bound to be ladders somewhere.” His animals started to howl and almost pulled the sled away. “Something’s got them spooked; I’d better stay here.”

 

I paced around the edge and lost sight of them altogether. I would have missed the steel ladders if wasn’t for the red paint. When you’re stuck in a blizzard there’s no way of telling how high up you are. My hands sweated inside the gloves as I shuffled up to the top deck.

 

The metal hummed all around me. Apart from that and the wind, everything was quiet, no calls for help and no signs of life, with one exception. I had to lift my goggles to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. A green light blinked inside the main bridge on the other side.

 

At first I tried crossing through the upper deck, but each twist and turn among the containers got me completely lost. In the end I had to go below and find my way from there.

 

The torch was a bit more effective and a map on the wall made the path clear. I checked every walkway and called out often but I didn’t see or hear anybody. I almost wish it stayed that way when I got to the central stairwell.

 

It looked like a mound of trash, the closer it became the redder it appeared. Dozens of them stuck together, fingers rested under the stairs, arms stacked against the walls and their rock solid torsos sat in a blanket of intestines.

 

My hands slipped free from the gloves and pulled out my sidearm. I was horrified. A sane person would have run away at that moment, but I didn’t. Instead my boots carefully stepped over the mess and took me upstairs to the bridge.

 

That green light was some sort of beacon wired to a battery on a table in the centre. “Signal will repeat in 40 seconds,” it called.

 

Broken glass shifted behind it, I backed away in shock. “Put your hands up!” The frosty trigger burned my fingers as the sound continued to crunch. “Are you a survivor? Come out from behind the table.”

 

They didn’t listen. It forced me to pace with my back to wall until I finally saw what was making the commotion.

 

She couldn’t have been any older than 18. This unconscious girl wrapped up in a sheet with jet black hair. Her face was swollen purple with frost bite and her hands were almost fused to a large brown rucksack pressed against her chest.

 

“Can you hear me? My name is Sergeant Price, I’m a police officer.” I rushed to her side and took her pulse, it was weak.

 

I would have given first aid and sent for backup, but the ship rocked to its side, there wasn’t much time. I hoisted the girl over my shoulder and ran down the stairs. Corridors tilted left and right to toss us onto the top deck as containers fell from their perch’s.

 

Getting that girl down the ladder would have been impossible. It forced me to look for another means of escape. That’s when I spotted a lifeboat outstretched and ready to descend. I loaded her on to it then flipped the mechanism but nothing happened. The ship’s angle grew steeper, the hull shuddered free. I looked up at the chain holding us in place and shot it loose to send us over the edge, hitting the open water with a splash. If it wasn’t for the broken ice we wouldn’t have died on impact.

 

The New Venture rolled on its side and gave off one last cry before it sank. We drifted there for a while until a flare popped off in the night sky. Tony survived, but despite his signal, I couldn’t spot him through the blizzard, not until he cast a rope and pulled us to safety.

 

“We need to get this girl to a doctor right now,” I shouted.

 

I tied her to the sled and held on as best I could while those dogs pulled us back. They didn’t let up the entire journey and got us to Wainwright in under an hour.

 

Doctor Lancaster was the only one at the medical shack. I would have preferred someone with a steadier hand. He’s fine at treating colds but damn near turned me into a pin cushion on my first week here. I can only imagine what that ghoul is doing to her? Unfortunately that old man and his coke bottle lenses are the only things that can help the poor girl right now.

 

I’ll write up an official report back at the station when the weather clears up.

 

Hope you get this message soon,

 

Karen. x

 

P.s - I almost forgot. The bag we recovered had two items inside. One was the note I transcribed before this message and the other looks like a diary. Its frozen stiff right now so I can’t open it up, but I think the girl’s name is written on the front, ‘Annika Toten’.

Author's Note

report spelling errors or be destroyed.

Reviews

[matrixmark]

Well, this is different. You portrayed the first person point of view brilliantly. Very well executed, I have to say.

You're writing is very clear and easy to follow. The dialogue scenes you pulled off with ease. I loved the discriptions you put in- in particular the one about the Red ladders - that was such a neat little touch.

Great atmospheric writing.

Mark.

[M.R Steiner]

why thank you, I have been working on it for a very long time. I hope to send it off for another round of queries when this new version is complete :)

[matrixmark]

You have done yourself proud.

Really good writing skills you have.

Mark.

[Geekasauruz]

This was a very interesting read! The method you used to tell the story was very unique, but it captured me instantly. It also flowed extremely well without being too simple. The mannerisms were great and sounded natural, as did the protagonists thoughts and the writing style as a whole. I couldn't find any spelling or grammatical errors either. Fantastic job! I wish I had something constructive to say but I can't think of anything that I disliked or thought needed fixing! :)

Will definitely read more when I get the time :D

[M.R Steiner]

you are most kind good sir. I still feel it will need a good edit before it gets sent off for to literary agents again. this is it's rewritten incarnation. I will make sure to make the scene transitions smoother for example, I know it's in email form, but I feel it gets a little jumpy at points :)

you're a star :)

[Geekasauruz]

If there were any jumpy parts I didn't notice, but we are always the toughest critics on ourselves :) I hope it works out for you, and if it does let me know, I'd love to see this published :)

First time I've been called sir, but I'll take it XD I better start growing a beard along with a few other things XD

[M.R Steiner]

ah, my apologies, either way I'm almost at the 30k mark, I may try to limit its word count from the original 95k to around 75 to 80. I have a nasty habit of jumping around projects of late. but I'm back to writing this one with a vengeance. I will try to keep upto date on your story as it progress's. do send a message in case I miss the next chapter going online :)

[Geekasauruz]

Oh dear you're making me nervous now XD But thank you very much, I love learning how I can improve from amazing writers such as yourself :)
30K, that's awesome! As long as you don't think it'd be missing anything if you limit it, then that's great! I know the feeling, I can never stick to one thing for too long, unfortunately :P Good luck! I can't wait to read more of this! :)

[genocide]

yep just talking about doctors right now when does the action begin

[M.R Steiner]

I follow the original Frankenstein novel on a level of structure, which always begins in the frozen north with the discovery and retelling of the original story until it catches up with itself at the end. Mystery and suspense combined with Old romantic/Gothic horror always needs a slow build up. same for Lovecraft, alas its a problem with writing something like this, you can't just chuck a label at it and dive right into the action :) sorry if it wasn't to your liking :)

[genocide]

it's ok it's your story and your show the futher I get the more the action will speed up

[M.R Steiner]

you are most kind. indeed, I do my best to make the story relatively normal until the defining event of that is the 3rd chapter. until then it's this fore running event, then the start of Annika's diary and getting to know her life. I actually based Annika on a very good lady friend from Germany so I was determined to get her right :)

[WriterGirl101]

This was a really good read. Definitely makes me want to read more. :)

[M.R Steiner]

you are most kind, were there any problems that you encountered during the read? I'm very paranoid about my prose recently? :)

[WriterGirl101]

I did not see any. It is all very well written. :)

[Anna]

I liked your method of storytelling here! I think that realistically, no one would write an email that long and in that kind of story format, but for reading purposes it was an interesting way of telling the narrative. You also definitely made me want to read on and learn more about the crime as well as the relationship between Karen and Jenny.

The only spelling/grammar thing I saw was: “Put your hand’s up!” which should be, "Put your hands up!" (no apostrophe for the word 'hands').

[M.R Steiner]

indeed, the original Frankenstein was written in multiple letters but I chose to condense it a bit as it's intended for a younger audience :)

thank you so super much for your comments and pointing that out to me :)

I'll change it when I'm back from london.

Thanks again :)

[Wayward Soul]

An interesting way of storytelling, it left we wanting more, so I'll be sure to read the other chapters.

[M.R Steiner]

thank you. could you follow the story, I'm worried my particular style for this is kind of jarring?

[Wayward Soul]

It's kind of how they wrote necrosleep, it's perfect for horror sotries, especially ones ment to jar people, it also makes people feel like they just got an email from a co-worker or schoolmate, and imagin your best friend sending you that.