azure rae to smoke. from smoke & azure rae

Kid you still come back to haunt me. Seize my heart you got me slip each and every day. Sad thing is we never really had anything did we Mr. bones? Two kids lost in fantasy and the power of words. We were each others Dulcinea's. Another night and here I am I still cant let you go. Oh you were my first, the first to make me break. And I mean break down and fall crash to the f*****g floor broken bones shattered thoughts. Your so f*****g wrong and so f*****g right. Like a yo-yo you could make me lose my cool and right when id let it out lash out looking for blood you broke me with a smile and tender sweet words. Your stories kid amazed me I thought they were for reals but you lost me in the maze of fantasy when I watched reality rise with the light of day and the drugs we took at night wore off. My dreams broke every time you broke a glass did you hear my heart shatter against the floor? I trapped it in your bottles like sail boats so delicate in their glass cages. You got what you wanted you left your mark its on my skin tattooed and burned in. you had me handcuffed to your bed as I watched you lost in thoughts and anger. I was such a silly girll, I thought I could save you save us both. I used every trick I had, faithfulness patience anger, lies, I even let you turn me into the monster but nothing worked my love. And I still cant let you go. You haunt me kid. In the music, in the shower, in the bottom of my glass. I smell you in my finger tips every time I have a cigarette.

These were Rae thoughts as she stared at the charcoal drawings of smoke she had drawn so long ago. She remembers the moment. 4Am smoke lying on the bed with his eyes closed humming along to Janis Joplin listening to her pencil slide across her paper. He could feel each line as if it had slid against his skin. But those days were gone even Serena had left. Her words were a curse. They always showed too much but she couldn't help it nothing else could free her. Not even the words worked, but they helped her breath every once in a while. She slowly shut her old portfolio up, she would sort through it later it held too many memories, memories she wasnt ready to confront. As she slid it back into its drawer she found a joint she had hidden for a special occasion. She had put it there knowing she would need it if she ever went through that drawer. As she pulled it out she could feel it crunch between her fingertips, old but still potent. As she picked up the papers she had pulled out she lit it. Inhaling she watched her red room fill up with smoke. Her gray curtains looked orange in the sunlight, as she walked to her window she stared out to the street below. Blowing silver clouds against the glass she watched the people walking bellow.