girls.

So tell me you love me even if it’s not true. Hold me in your arms squeezing really tight as if I’m your only one the girl you’ll love forever. The girl you look into the eyes and fall f*****g hard with desire. The girl you don’t want to hurt. Come on humor me. Let’s pretend once again I’m not the stepping stone. Let’s pretend I’m not the girl whose just fun, whose got everything right but that little thing that’s always missing. Let’s pretend I’m not the girl you love just to love. Let’s pretend I’m not the girl you can live without. Is it unreasonable I want to be loved so intensely so passionately? I’m not asking for the world, I’m not asking for all your time, I just want to be the real f*****g one for once.

F**k who am I kidding? Jane Austen you f*****g liar there are no mr.darcys in the world, like knights and chivalry the idea was dead the moment it was invented. I don’t even believe in love anymore. Or do I? Why must I be a girl/ why must I be driven mad by these silly thoughts in the dead of night because of some silly movie, raging hormones and an empty house.

This is the curse. This is the price we pay for eve taking that first bite. I hope that fruit was the best hungry lips ever rested upon. I hope every savory bite lingered on the tongue after, I hope her throat burned with shame her heart beat with adrenaline. Like Saint Augustine’s pears I hope each bite was a thrill.  

So I was reading a poem by Francesca lia block the other night, it was about how it only takes one boy, when your little to call u ugly and your world will go crashing down I think every girls gone through this. He’ll say it kindergarten or maybe 3rd grade. When your already too tough, grass stains on your knees big bows in your hair. In middle school you’ll hide your body under sweaters and jeans. While other girls experiment with makeup and short skirts they curl their hair and pile on mascara you become the friend. The girl they drag along to meet their boyfriend’s nerdy friend who ignores you or tries to attack you. Whose never read a book in his life and can’t keep a conversation.  As you grow older you become pretty but you still don’t feel beautiful. As girls around you grow b***s overnight you’re just beginning to discover the wonder of a bit of eyeliner and a straighter. Boys outside of school will give you attention but you’ll be too scared to act back to be aggressive, you lack the pretty girl mentality so they think your snobby or stuck up and eventually leave. Or you say something too smart or are too nice and they get bored find you weird and run away.  Even after your first kiss that sting is still there even after guys devote themselves too you there’s still that doubt in your mind in the morning. Your bodies been worshiped your intellect complimented, praised. Your confidence pours out of your skin thicker than sweat someone says. But when you’re alone you look in the mirror when you’re checking your eyeliner you can still hear that one boy. That one boy who broke your 8yr old little heart.

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[Bard Constantine]

Believe or not... there's a flip side of this for boys...