a story of that drunk punk love in the making....

i felt as gray as the cement'. smoking my cigarette i couldnt bring myself to get off these steps and walk down the street to his house. How was i going to tell him? He was going to hate me, all our plans demolished. inhale exhale breathe exist. i couldnt do it. scratch that i had to do it. head pounding heart racing hands shaking. I could hear the usual neighbor hood sounds surround me. kids fighting yelling cursing. mothers calling out in anger. kitchen smells making my stomache churn. Tvs blaring in that beautiful spanish language. head pounding heart racing hands shaking. his dog was in his yard. lil brat. he attacked my shoes out of no where popped out of the forest of grass. the front door was open. as i rapped on the screen i could hear the radio blaring from the back. then lil jazzy running towards me with nothing but a pink shirt and undies her hair wild like it hasnt been brushed in days. she looked like a little changling a fairie nymph in this urban ghetto."NINAAAAA!!" she schrieked. "jays in the back with the boys. but he told me not to go back there, hes being bad." she tattles as she unhinges the screen. s**t, hes drunk. "mk baby, wheres your momma? has she been home?" i ask. "na she just went to work." she answers returning to her room.
 I walk to the back before i even hit the kitchen i can smell the weed and hear the boys.
as i open the back door there all out there in the circle passing the zong. alex, bugsy, johnny boy, chino and jay. jay with his charcol eyes blood shot and burning with passion. thats what got me. The first night i met him all i could see was eyes. and all that they held and knew. "hey baby, whereve ya been?" jay asks i can already see he knows somethings up. 'hey" the guys all shout.. "what the f**k? ignorng me wheres my hug girl?!" johnny boy laughs as he hands me a beer and a hug. as i walk over to jay i give him a kiss and he pulls me into his lap
immediately i feel better wrapped in his skinny but strong arms. ill tell him later i think as i take a swig.