Lilith

A female facination

Soft hair, like newly shaved wool
Its feel, real, firm and full.
Tender skin which haunts mine
It's human scent, indented in my mind.

I swoon over your feminine curves
a godly form radiant with pleasure waves.
Your deep dark eyes are piercing
Your scarlet lips, glow inviting,
their teasing taste, unearthly passion
am chained! Devoured by celestial seduction.

You possess me lilith! Mind, body, soul
ages now, to come and before.
And though they say you're in my mind
You are more real and meaningful than anything I've found.

Author's Note

Working on it, review, suggest or just hit me 'literary' get it haha

Reviews

[Gozer]

I am reminded of an old acquaintance of mine called Lilith. She was known as the dark one, seducer of all. You have excellent taste, young man....perhaps if you dream hard enough? Careful though, she is a collector of souls.

[costa siwale]

hehe...well said, and thank you for taking the time to read

[Gozer]

How could I not? You are welcome!

[Xochipilli]

So much desire seems to be in this, and restrained at that. It is beautiful, the way you are describing Lilith.

[costa siwale]

Oh thanks so much for taking the time to review, much appreciated

[ranscan]

Restrained passion, "Tender skin which haunts mine" such a lovely idea. "Devoured by celestial seduction", there are several truly remarkable turns of phrase in this work.
The general construct of this piece is strong, and the treatment of the theme is controlled well.
There is to my mind an issue with using the same word several times in the same work, in this case "mind" which I believe at line 4 and 13 could be changed, leaving the line 11 thought it is part of untouched.
Of course the line 4 change would also assist with the difficulty of the disappearing rhyme, in fact a change of "full" in line 2 would bring the first stanza into harmony with the rest of the work, evening out the flow.
I believe you are missing an "I" at the beginning of line 10, if of course I am following the thought of the second stanza correctly.
This is an interesting treatment of the Lilith legend, regardless of the view one wishes to take of her, this work plays among several threads of her mythology, with out getting tangled in any way.

[costa siwale]

just the kind of review this one needed, i did write it in haste and neglected going through it before posting. thank you so much for your analysis, i will work on it.

[CD Campbell]

Very fine write Costa!! You started to rhyme the first stanza and then you seemed to abandon that which you started which confused me a little. Other than that. Nice poem. CD

[costa siwale]

Haha true CD, kinda confused myself at the end. Thanks for reading though.

[CD Campbell]

No don't say that. Fine write. Tighten it up brother and you'll have a gem.

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

This Is very true.

(in the Old Testament and in Jewish folklore) a female demon,
who attacks children.


Jewish Folklore. Adam's first wife was Lilith , before Eve
was created and she wouldn't listen to god she disobeyed him
and she was kicked out of the garden of Eden.



Lilith to me is of the the devil as
the devil can be in any form
he wants a woman an attractive man
and a beautiful angel but if a woman
is rebellious and doesn't obey god they're
following their flesh.



So this was more of a Temptation to
me this is why the name can be so alluring
her name draws you in like a Temptress
she caused her own sin to disobey God.




so I know very well what she was
she wasn't good when I see her
name the devil comes up and these
things are very real you know someone
by their fruits and she choose to not follow
God.



But thank you for sharing
and thank you for your kind review
and comments you left on my page.



God bless. Benita

[costa siwale]

Thank you for reading..you are right about lilith

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

you're are quite welcome. it inspires Godly poems too when reading things like this. Blessings. Benita

[Vidya Bacchus]

Indeed the legendary Lilith who has been described in such lovely words .Well penned Costa:)

[costa siwale]

Aww, Thank you Vidya, glad you read it

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome:)

[Scott Metro]

Very nice tribute...Lilith has been around since the beginning of time ...she is fulfilling..she is delicious ..she will rob you of energy and sanity..

A good read my friend

[costa siwale]

thank you Scott, much appreciated

[Sheila Kline]

She has held the captivation of many throughout the ages! You have expressed the power of this pull so very clearly! Your words make me feel as if she is looking over my shoulder.

[costa siwale]

My gosh, thank you for reading, an grateful

[Sami Khalil]

"You possess me lilith! Mind, body, soul
ages now, to come and before.
And though they say you're in my mind
You are more real and meaningful than anything I've found."

A wonderful poem...Thank you for penning...:)

[costa siwale]

Thank you for reading..glad you like it

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).............

[K. Hicks]

Falling in love with a goddess how wonderful I love it! very well written!

[costa siwale]

Thanks again Hicks.