A Captialist Frame of Mind

A Captialist Frame of Mind

A Poem by CosminDZS
"

Do not let your Self go

"

Some say I conspire
the others I inspire
but one way
or another
I'm just doing it
for my Self.

My Self has many needs,
but I reap my own seeds.
Now, I pay my taxes,
need not raise any axes.
My Self has many needs,
it will use any means.

It is not I, you see
my Self has many needs,
and if you just take heed.
Listen to me, I plead.
Do not let your Self
take lead.


© 2013 CosminDZS


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Reviews

Too many real angles to ignore.
The hive mentality would seem most dangerous.
An interesting glimpse.
Have to squeeze freedom into the soup.
Scott

Posted 11 Years Ago


I think I get the gist of what you intended here but as a poem it needs some work. The rhyming feels 'forced' and not natural and some lines are clumsy with over use of Self throughout. One trap many fall into is to write to write rather than writing to express. That is what this one felt like to me and you are far better than that.

Posted 11 Years Ago


A punchy summation of the descent into capitalistic self-servitude. I loved the line "Now, I pay my taxes, need not raise any axes." An excellent representation of the dichotomy between the woodcutter and the neck-chopper. Well done :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Simple but overstated. I like it. Good write Cosmin. :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


CosminDZS

11 Years Ago

Much thanks, I'm flattered

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4 Reviews
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Added on December 23, 2013
Last Updated on December 23, 2013

Author

CosminDZS
CosminDZS

Canada



About
anti-hero and certified mad scientist University of Waterloo - Physics and Astronomy undergraduate more..

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