The Looking Glass

From the perspective of Lewis Carroll, Alice is perhaps the most perfect child he has ever come across, pointedly due to her spectacular ability to lie...

I used to think you were an excellent liar. That smile, that façade you elegantly passed around the room, was an interesting beginning to our conversations. I never thought anyone could smile like that until I met you.

Indeed, our friendship was more than what I first intended. Your mother deemed it inappropriate " I was, of course, supposed to be courting Ina. It was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, obvious I held no intentions " romantic or otherwise " for dear Lorina, though her feelings toward the matter were just as noticeable. I do suspect your mother and Lorina often thought my fondness of you suggested an alternate motive, much unlike my usually benign manner toward you.

Alice, my darling, I wish you not to think such things. It was everything it was; I only find it suitable to lie through my tales, and even then I hide behind a name spun from nothingness. You understand, don’t you, dear Alice? I saw straight through you the moment you asked me to spin you a tale.

I’m sure you liked me enough to consider me alike to kin. I was around for a long while, and you were very young. I couldn’t help thinking there was more to your surface. There were undeniable signs towards the beginning of it all, before you had mastered your mask. There was a slip of the tongue and a simple, intelligent string of words that battered about in my head, manipulating each though until I truly thought I was going mad.

You made sure to place everything perfectly, so even when I avoided your home for months, upon returning, I was a stranger to your household. A stranger who was most unwelcome…

Your Wonderland played a magnificent part in all of this, and so it comes back to that very first boating trip. As it happens, I am my own undoing, am I not?

Your mother thinks it punishment that I will no longer be able to pay court to your governess, or see Ina, though I doubt the poor thing will ever look at me again.

A single, carefully placed sentence and the Red Queen called for my head. Your mother never liked the foolishness in your adventures underground.

You turned around and smiled at me, brow curling down, and lip curling up. I’m sure the looking glass would have shattered had you looked into it then and there.

We entered the parlour and your mother called. Turning to me you skipped backwards into the sitting room, a fit of giggles.

“Alice!” I hissed. Your mother always hated when you acted like that. You were supposed to be the picture of a lady at all times.

You never were.

“Dodgson took me to see a rabbit-hole this morn”, you giggled.

“Oh?” Your mother looked up for a slight second and rose a single eyebrow, calling Edith to her side. She straightened the child’s dress, but she pulled away before she was finished and ran to Alice’s arms.

“Did you see him, Alice? Was the White Rabbit late again?”

We all chuckled half-heartedly. Alice gave a sheepish smile and Edith dropped her grip, returning to her mother’s side.

“Lewis Carroll…”, your mother observed, picking up your copy of Adventure’s Underground gingerly, “A rather odd thing to call yourself. Couldn’t bear to tie this madness to your own name?”

An unearthly silence entered the room.

“Mother…” Edith murmured, and she was hushed almost immediately.

My birth name was, of course, Dodgson, however tying myself to the tale I wrote for Alice would ruin the image I had made for myself. Society would have deemed me made.

And God knows I hung onto society’s every word.

“It’s unnecessary to have my birth name tied to that thing. What’s better than a madness name for a madness story?”

There was a tight silence, and then tutting; your mother shot up and pulled you toward her. “Alice! Your dress, oh! Charles”, she turned to me, “Charles, how did it end up like this? She was a lady before noon!”

“Ah”, I began, “She tripped on a tree root.”

Alice spun around, mouth open. “Mr. Dodgson, that’s a lie!”

Well to my knowledge, that was the perfect truth.

“Is it?” I bent down to her level. Her eyes flashed, and her mouth betrayed her, but she recovered quickly.

“I saw him. I tripped and fell into the rabbit hole.”

“And tumbled into Wonderland, I suppose?” I straightened, and took the seat next to her mother, who had a protective hand on Edith. She did not like the tone I used with Alice.

“Not at all. I thought I might cry, but I thought that very girly; you always stiffen when Edith cries, so I thought I better not. But I was thinking about it, when I saw him.”

“Saw who, dear?” She’d engaged her mother by this point in time.

“Mr. Rabbit, of course. He had his waistcoat unbuttoned, and I thought he might have been sleeping. He grabbed at his watch at the side, and was looking very alarmed, and even more so when he saw me.” She stepped back and over to me. “You see, I think I had gone into his house without his permission. I apologised very quickly, but he was still looking at me with his very large eyes.”

She paused and turned to me.

“Alice, I do distinctly remember you crying.”

“Why, I’m not up to there yet. No, you see, I’d apologised and been very lady like " I’d curtsied, too, Mama, but he looked at me like I was the Jaberwocky, and he ordered me out, and said I should have paid more mind before tumbling into his hole.”

“What ever happened?” I asked.

She pursed her lips. “I climbed out quickly, and burst into tears.”

I couldn’t help my chuckling.

She glared at me, was told off, and glared again.

Ah…I’m beginning to see.

“Lorina’s in love with you, you know.”

“Alice!” Her mother gasped; she would not have Lorina’s emotions thrown around as small talk.

I could not bring myself to say anything to that, considering I was well aware of the fact and had no intention to act upon it.

“You’re worse than the Jaberwocky!” Alice said, advancing upon me. “You know all too well about my sister’s feelings, but you don’t like her in the slightest!” She paused. “So why on earth do you continue to come back here?”

Why on earth…

Oh, my. What was this? Alice understood too much for a seven year old.

Her mother straightened. The damage was done. She’d spun a tale with no base, and there it was, half-finished, sitting in space.

The damage was done.

You see, reader, it was the other way around.

Alice was in love with me. She understood the madness that tied me to her family, and understood the complications she could cause me with this simple emotion.

Ah, ah.

“Out. I want you out of this house. Stop spinning tales in this child’s head!”

Lorina peeked from behind a doorway, and burst into sudden tears; Edith asked many a question and goodness, what a ruckus, what an untangling of a lifetime.

I stood, and walked, and left. I did not see you for half a year, and upon returning, you did not speak to me at all.

Not a single word.

But Alice...you spoke a thousand through your smiles, through your eyes.

I used to think you were an excellent liar. Now it’s all I can see.

Still she haunts me Phantom-wise, Alice moving under skies..

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Shep]

A very interestingly take on Alice and Wonder land and refreshing i am looking forward to reading your book.

[Rhianne Ney]

interesting account about Alice...
I loved the story itself *thumbs up*

[corvus]

Thank you =3

[SilenceIsBliss]

Simply amazing! I am unsure of how this could be better, to be truly and utterly honest. I applaud you, friend. -Insert a wonderful amount of applause here.- Thank you for writing such a piece. Perhaps I will read your book as well!

[corvus]

Thank you very much for your review~! My story stills needs a little work and I'll get around to perfecting it eventually

[SilenceIsBliss]

Everyone needs to improve something! But you will eventually perfect it, of that I am certain.

[corvus]

Thank you!

[K.G]

This is a really good story!!! 0.0 im awe-strucked. the way u wrote this almost convinced me that this was actually Lewis Carroll :3 really wounderful peice of work.

[corvus]

Thank you =3

[K.G]

your wellcome love :3 i shall b reading more of your work so i cant wait to see what else you got :3

[corvus]

Thank you so much =)

[K.G]

your wellcome very much :3

[corvus]

=)

[Japanese Cherry]

this was very interesting, i like it

[corvus]

Thank you =)

[Japanese Cherry]

my pleasure