Part One

It was the start of everything.

 

Her footsteps pounded against the smooth tile floor, echoing throughout the quiet building. She raced down the stairs to the main lobby of the lab, her eyes barely making out a figure standing with its arms crossed against the wall. “Guess I’m not as fast as I thought!” She called out breathlessly, sweeping her hair out of her face.

 

“Or as quiet.” The figure turned as she approached. He was dressed in jeans and a dark t-shirt, his unruly hair was the only indication of him being woke up at such an ungodly hour.

 

She playfully elbowed his ribs, before twisting her hair into a messy sort of style away from her face and off of her neck. She leaned against the cool wall, imitating his casual stance in the darkness. “Do you know anything?” She prompted, looking up at him.

 

He shook his head. “Nothing.”

 

Just then, a set of headlights blinded them through the window of the lobby. “We should probably go, we’ll find out soon enough right?”

 

She nodded and followed him outside to a black SUV. She barely had time to close the door behind them before they were speeding off into the night. Her mind began to race as they drove away from the small community. Or as she commonly referred to it, home. Her entire life had been spent on the grounds of the complex, surrounded by science centers, research labs and information analysis offices. On the perimeter of the complex was a fence to block out anyone who wasn’t authorized personnel. She’d never been outside the fence of the complex before, but her father told her stories of the wonders he had been searching for when the accident happened underground that ultimately claimed his life. Instead she spent most of her time in the labs with her mother, a senior researcher on the team, earning the affectionate nickname of “lab rat.” A few years ago there was a severe outage in the lab due to a storm, and her mother was killed trying to backup all of the lab’s findings.

 

While she lost both of her parents, she was never truly alone. Leo had been her best friend since childhood, they would often run around the complex and create stories about the other side of the fence. Leo’s mother was an examiner, and died tragically after being exposed to radiation while working on a project. His father was the project director and, essentially the leader of the compound. Everybody who was anybody reported to him.

 

She’d barely noticed that the SUV had passed through the boundary fence a while ago, and in the distance, a group of lights beaconed them forward in the darkness. In her mind she was a child again, sitting on her dad’s lap as he told her his stories, and she couldn’t help the small smile on her lips as the vehicle slowed. She recognized a dig site as Leo climbed out of the cab behind her. The night air was brisk, and she wrapped her arms around herself as she stepped forward.

“That’s a lot of dirt.”

 

She turned at Leo’s voice, her eyes following his gaze to the piles of dirt vaguely resembling an eroded mountain range. “What do you think it is?” She asked, stepping closer to the edge of the pit.

 

Leo shrugged. “I don’t know, but no one seems particularly interested.” He pointed at a small group of members who were too busy with their own work to notice the ongoing commotion.

 

“Of course they aren’t. Why would they be? Everyone else has already been assigned to a project.” She answered.

 

“Except us.” Leo interjected.

 

She sighed. “I guess that means we get it. Whatever it is.” Just then a woman emerged from the pit, dressed in a black jumpsuit, wearing a stern expression on her face.

 

“Ah, Leo and Agatha,” The woman began, dusting off her hands. “Just the people I wanted to see.”

 

“Commander.”  They said, nodding their heads in acknowledgement of her status.

 

“I want to start by apologizing for waking you at this hour. I need you to study and analyze our latest discovery. It appears to be the remains of some sort of wreck. The crew will bring you the pieces as their work progresses and I expect hourly updates on your findings. Be thorough and precise. We don’t know what we’re dealing with so exercise caution and implement the appropriate safety procedures. There is a great chance this could be dangerous, so take your work seriously.” The Commander instructed.

 

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

“I had hoped we would have a piece unearthed by now, however the process is taking longer than expected. Report back here after breakfast, we should have something for you by then.” With that, the commander descended back into the pit.

 

“Wow,” Agatha sighed at the magnitude of the wreck. “This is big.”

 

“Huge.” Leo agreed. “C’mon,” He continued, grabbing her arm and stepping away from the pit. “We should probably get some rest, looks like we’ve got quite the day ahead of us.”

 

“Like we’ll be able to actually sleep.” She joked, following him back to the SUV.

 

“I hope we don’t screw this up.” Leo said as the SUV pulled away, heading back to the compound.

 

Agatha looked out the window as the excavation site faded from view. “So do I.” She whispered, her mind was whirling. With only a glimpse into the pit, she was convinced that this discovery was sure to be the biggest find of the century, with the potential to change the world.

 

How right she would turn out to be.

Reviews

[Keegan]

Oh my, lovely! I love it all over again, even more so the second time.
Upon my second read however, I might just suggest setting the scene up a little more at the very start?

Because at first, I was picturing them in the hallway at their headquarters maybe? But then, as Leo says dirt, I'm imagining them pulling up to the sit in their vehicle (which I picture for some reason as a big black SUV lmao). But it sounds like they've already arrived at the scene, so just resolving that might curb any confusion such as my mind would make up.

All in all, however, I think you've done yet another marvelous job. Your tone rocks, and I'm super intrigued, and I wish you would reveal all your secrets right away, I just want to know what happens next! lol

[William Yasanari Harris]

I like your first chapter; and, if I was in a bookstore this read would've enticed me to buy the book. I really want to know the answer to the questions this chapter gave me.

It's really refreshing to read a well written, tightly constructed first chapter. You're obviously a student of writing that has taken the time to learn how to write fiction. Then again, that's to be expected from someone that loves Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. It's my favorite novel. Have you read The Last Tycoon or his short story The Last of the Belles? You may find my posted work interesting. I use the third person narrative structure Fitzgerald (even Conrad in the Heart of Darkness) for my book.

Great job on this first chapter. Look forward to reading more.