EXT. NJ STREETS �" CONTINUOUS

ETHAN CROSSE (50) a real estate developer of renown and his chauffeur, a former heavyweight

contender, MARCUS (42) are on their daily commute to work. The quiet suburban streets are
coming to life. Children pile into SUV’s to be driven by sleepy mothers. Dark suited men with portfolios run to
their cars to beat the traffic on their daily commute to the big city.


INT. LIMOUSINE �" CONTINUOUS


MARCUS

Sleep OK last night, Mr. C.?


ETHAN

Nah! Today’s meeting with the
mayor must have been on my mind.
No matter how many times you do
it, you still wonder if this will
be the time you reach into the top
hat and find the rabbit missing.


MARCUS

You’ve always managed to come out
on top, Mr. Crosse. I’ve never
known you to lose at anything!
Why worry?


ETHAN
Oh Marcus … you, a former boxer,
should know better than anyone.
Fear is a powerful motivator.
The more you succeed …
… the more you fear losing.


EXT. STREET �" TENAFLY, NJ �" CONTINUOUS


Marcus spots former client, BO BELLINO (42) standing in
front of his driveway, looking up the block with one hand
shading his eyes, the other holding a football. Marcus
slows down to a crawl and gawks at Bo’s odd pose.


INT. LIMOUSINE �" CONTINUOUS


MARCUS


What the bajeezus is Bo doin’?


ETHAN
At least the man with the golden
arm has a grip on it … this time!


MARCUS
Who can forget those two fumbles
against the Rams in the playoffs?


ETHAN
(spoken like Brando)
Yeh … twice in the last three
minutes and the Giants gave him a
one-way ticket to Palookaville.
Marcus giggles.


EXT. STREET �" TENAFLY, NJ �" CONTINUOUS


Bo is dressed in a dark suit, suspenders and power tie.
Marcus rolls down his window to tease about the pose and Bo
responds with a sheepish grin and a wave.


MARCUS
Hey, Bo! It looks like your
split-end forgot to turn in!


Ethan opens his window to chime in with a friendly taunt.


ETHAN
That’ll make a helluva photo in
the Giant yearbook! I can see the
caption now …
It’s been twenty years and Ole’
#13 is still waiting for his
receivers to get open!


BO
Hey, gimme’ a break! My car won’t
start and I’m waiting for AAA to
get a jump.


ETHAN
I guess you’re holding the
football just in case the tow
truck guy doesn’t recognize you.


BO
Very funny! I’ve been waiting for
over a half-hour and I got a
meeting in Fort Lee in just twenty
minutes. Hey, Do I know you?


ETHAN
Sort of …
Hop in, we’ll drop you off.


BO
I wouldn’t want to take you out of
your way.


ETHAN
Are you kidding? Anything’s
better than work. We’ll let the
mayor wait. Come on!


BO
OK, thanks. Hey, Marcus!!
Bo walks toward the limo.


ETHAN
No … wait a minute!!
BO
Really … if it’s a problem --


ETHAN
-- No, that’s not it. You still
got that football in your hand!
Bo looks down at his hand and is surprised to find that he
is still clutching the football.


ETHAN
I think we need some closure.
You should complete your pass
before we go.


BO
You gotta’ be kidding?
Ethan jumps out of the car prancing with a schoolboy bounce
and signals Bo that it’s time to play.
ETHAN
Its third and long, the clock’s
running --
BO
-- What the??
ETHAN
Come on! Come on!
I’ll do a post pattern.
Bo eyeballs Ethan’s strikingly white hair.
BO
Do you think this is wise? It’s
probably been a while since YOU’VE
been thrown a pass!
ETHAN
Hey, leave my love-life outta’dis!
Just give me twenty yards and I’ll
run under it! Come on!
Call the signals!


Bo shrugs, walks to the far side of the street, then
crouches, holds the ball in position as if it were to be
received from a imaginary center.


BO
Ready … set …
… 19, 19 … red 49, red 49 …
… hut, hut.

Bo pulls the ball in and drops back to pass. For those few
seconds, the intensity of a pro quarterback returns. In a
classic football stance, he follows the path of his
receiver like a steely-eyed hawk.
Ethan stretches his six foot three inch frame into long
galloping strides, a paradoxical vision of a man in an
elegant suit. His wingtips barely touch the ground as they
make a SANDPAPER SOUND on the asphalt.


MARCUS
Go, go Mr. C!


Ethan flies effortlessly; Bo rears back and heaves the
pigskin mightily with a DEEP GRUNT. The ball sails deep,
spinning perfectly, seemingly far beyond his grasp.


MARCUS
Go Mr. C!! Go, you can get it!


Ethan looks back just once, increases his stride and the
ball sails over his shoulder onto his fingertips. He pulls
the football into his gut, strides another ten yards and
spikes the ball in triumph!
Bo and Ethan pump their fists in the air and ROAR with male
pride. Marcus lunges halfway out his window.


MARCUS
Whooo … hooo!! What a catch!
Great catch Mr. C! Whooo … hooo!!


Ethan turns around and catches his breath with hands on
knees. He directs Bo to the middle of the street. Bo
follows his signal but throws his hands in the air to
question Ethan’s purpose. Ethan aligns himself in a
punter’s stance, takes three steps and booms a punt in
perfect spiral. It is kicked so high that Bo looks up in
amazement. He is overcome by a determined look and drifts
back to catch it.


MARCUS
Holy Jesus!! What a punt!


Bo backpedals, fades to the left, feeling his way onto the
sidewalk and his neighbor’s front lawn. Bo has a beat on
it when the neighbor’s hedges interrupt his backward path.
Bo tumbles over the hedges onto his back, the ball landing
just beyond his reach. It bounces high off the lawn and
caroms off the neighbor’s house. An angry lady shakes her
fist from her front door.
Bo lies motionless on his back, legs draped over the
hedges, seemingly unconscious. Marcus and Ethan come
running to Bo’s aide.


ETHAN
Bo, are you OK?


MARCUS
Wake up Bo! Come on! You OK?


ETHAN
Hey, don’t fool around!
Bo … this is not funny … wake up!

Ethan pats Bo’s cheek. A sly smile forms on Bo’s face,
then his eyes snap open widely and he laughs boisterously!
They are overcome with the contagion of his laughter.
Ethan extends a hand to help and Bo grabs it, pulls Ethan
tumbling to the ground behind him. In one unbroken motion,
Ethan rolls through the fall and bounces up giggling.
Marcus is convulsed in laughter. Bo lets Ethan help him up
and they all laugh heartily.
They playfully shadowbox, lightly punching one another
about the shoulders. Bo waves apologetically to the
neighbor, who is still watching them closely.


MARCUS
Let’s go Bo, we’ll get you to your
meeting. It’s too bad about the
suit. I know a dry cleaner --


BO
-- That’s all right!
People are used to seeing me with
grass stains on my back.
They chortle at Bo’s self-deprecating joke. Bo and Ethan
try to dust each other off without much success. Ethan
escorts Bo to the limo, still with football in hand.


ETHAN
What’s with the football, anyway?


BO
My kid left it in the driveway.
In high school I walked around
with a football in my hands all
the time; I was told it would
condition me not to fumble.


ETHAN
Oh-h-h-h.


BO
As you probably know …
… it didn’t work!


ETHAN
Hey man … that was just one game.
Everybody fumbles.


INT. LIMOUSINE �" CONTINUOUS
Bo and Ethan get in the back seat, the journey continues.
Ethan notices a scrawny teenager in old-fashioned sweats,
canvas sneakers and an old Brooklyn Dodger baseball cap.
The lad is watching them intently with a sullen, lifeless
expression on a face marked by dark circles under the eyes.


ETHAN
By the way, I’m Ethan Crosse.


BO
I met you at a Giants alumni
dinner, a few years ago. I don’t
remember your hair being so white!


ETHAN
(spoken like Karloff)
Life demands its price! You have
yet to learn, my friend … white hair
grows as a black heart fades!


BO
Strange answer!


ETHAN
What you been doin’ these days?


BO
I’m a sports agent, doin’ pretty
well! Got a few high-profile
clients, but forget about loyalty,
they’ll be gone tomorrow.
Nice to see you again, Marcus.


MARCUS
We had some wild times back then.


BO
Yeh wild, but not profitable! A
first round pick and I was lucky
to make a few extra bucks for an
occasional car dealer promo.
Seems like even that ended before
I broke in my first razor!


ETHAN
It’s tough playing in New York.
You never got a chance to show
your stuff. You deserved better.


BO
Yeh, thanks. I’m doin’ OK though,
making a real nice income and I
still get to hang with the jocks.
The downside is that alot of ‘em
can be real tiresome prima donnas.
Speaking of jocks …
Where the hell did you learn how
to punt like that? You blasted it
over sixty yards … if a foot.


ETHAN
By the way, where are we going?


BO
To the Holiday Inn on Route#4.
Is that OK?


ETHAN
Not a problem.


BO
You had to play some college ball.
Few pros can put that much air
under a punt. Were you drafted?


EXT. HIGHWAY �" PALISADES PARKWAY �" CONTINUOUS
They navigate the pleasant, tree-lined highway bordered by
grassy islands and tall trees exploding rainbows of color.


INT. LIMOUSINE �" CONTINUOUS


ETHAN
Do ‘ya think the Giants could use
a middle-aged punter?


BO
Why the false modesty?
I’m tellin’ you …
… that was NFL hang-time!


ETHAN
OK, OK! It’s actually a bit of a
story from my college days …
I never played organized football,
it’s too regimented; I’m not well
suited for team sports --


BO
-- Is there a short version?


ETHAN
Ok, Ok! I bet two of my friends
that I’d make our college team as
a walk-on. Foolish bet … they had
been starters in high school.
Never having played football, I
figured, better learn how to kick.


EXT. STREETS �" ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, NJ �" CONTINUOUS
They exit the parkway and the George Washington Bridge
looms in the horizon. The only sound is the THUMPING of
the tires over the expansion joints of the street.


INT. LIMOUSINE �" CONTINUOUS


ETHAN
I practiced all summer, made the
team and my friends were cut, but
there was a downside to winning!
Our first game, Penn State gave us
a licking and the starting punter
got creamed in the second quarter,
so … on my first and last punt …


EXT. QUICK FLASH: COLLEGE STADIUM �" FALL 1973
Ethan, the punter, muffs the snap, chases after the ball,
picks it up and runs helter-skelter, from sideline to
sideline with exhausted linemen in frantic pursuit. Ethan’s
comical high-kicking style of running is whipping the
intoxicated crowd into frenzied cheering.


INT: QUICK FLASH: BROADCAST BOOTH �" CONTINUOUS
A football BROADCASTER excitedly does rapid fire play-byplay
into an old style microphone. He is laughing and
shaking his head as he speaks.


BROADCASTER
Young went down the last time …
the second string punter is in …
he’s waiting for the snap and
sure looks awful nervous. The way
State’s been busting into the
backfield, I’ll bet he’s wishing
Brad Young was still in there!
The snap … uh-oh … it’s right
through his hands! He chases it
down … picks it up … he’s got
linemen closing in from both ends
and he’s thirty yards behind the
line … with nowhere to run.
Morris and Grable got him lined up
… no wait … he spins … circles
back … he’s running for the right
sideline … Johnson and Lewis
converge … he spins again … he’s
high-kickin’ it to the other
sideline! Holy cannoli …. look at
him go! He’s not gaining any
yards … but he’s burning up the
field! Penn State’s gonna need
Wily Coyote to bring him down!
There he goes again … reversing
field … he’s leavin’em in a cloud
of dust … MEEP, MEEP!


INT. QUICK FLASH: STUDENT UNION �" FALL 1979


Ethan runs into some college mates in the student union and
gets a ribbing. They tease him with the tucked in wings
and the signature MEEP MEEP of the Roadrunner character.


END QUICK FLASH


INT. LIMOUSINE �" THE PRESENT - CONTINUOUS


ETHAN
From that day on … I was known as
The Roadrunner. Whether it was in
the cafeteria, hallways or in
class, no one referred to me by
name, not even my professors! I
was simply acknowledged by the
MEEP, MEEP honking of the cartoon
character … nothing else.


EXT. HIGHWAY �" FORT LEE, NJ �" CONTINUOUS
They progress to near the GW Bridge, get on the highway,
make the turnaround to drop Bo at the Holiday Inn.
INT. LIMOUSINE �" CONTINUOUS


BO
Hey Marcus … is this guy always
such a windbag!


MARCUS
No … not usually! I mean --


BO
-- I know there’s an ending.


ETHAN
Ok, Ok! I quit the next day!


INT. QUICK FLASH: COLLEGE CAFETERIA �" FALL 1979


Ethan’s two friends appear in the college cafeteria in a
Mongolian warlord look, with shaved heads, braided
ponytails and Fu-Manchus. Their college-mates whistle,
cheer and stomp their approvals of this daring new look.


ETHAN (V.O.)
My friends paid the bet, as
agreed, by shaving their heads,
but embellished the humiliation
with ponytails and Fu-Manchus.
They unveiled their Taras Bulba
getup in the cafeteria …
… to a standing ovation.


END QUICK FLASH


INT. LIMOUSINE �" THE PRESENT - CONTINUOUS


ETHAN
The look became the new rage and
my pals were Big-Men-On-Campus,
invited to all the parties, rushed
by every frat. My winnings were
$200.00, spent on books and a
semester of MEEP, MEEP’s to endure
wherever I went.


EXT. HOLIDAY INN �" CONTINUOUS
The car pulls in front of the Holiday Inn and Bo hops out.


INT. LIMOUSINE �" CONTINUOUS
Bo smiles, laughs and leans back in to thank Ethan.


BO
Thanks for the ride. One wouldn’t
know by lookin’ at ya, but you’re a
real fun guy! Let’s get together
sometime and drive a few golf balls.


ETHAN
I’ll drive a bucket of balls
anytime, but don’t expect me to
don the pantaloons.
Hey, what’d you mean by wouldn’t
know by lookin’ at ya?


EXT. HOLIDAY INN �" CONTINUOUS
Bo walks to the front door of the Inn, stops and turns to
face the car. He is surprised to find the football still
in his hand. Bo rears back and throws a perfect pass right
through the open rear window of the limo.


INT. LIMOUSINE �" CONTINUOUS
Ethan catches the pass and makes the touchdown sign.


EXT. HOLIDAY INN �" CONTINUOUS
Bo tucks his arms in tightly, flips his hands out like
little wings and juts his neck forward like a bird.


BO
MEEP, MEEP!


INT. LIMOUSINE �" CONTINUOUS
The car pulls away with Ethan and Marcus guffawing.


MARCUS
It’s a shame what happened to Bo.


ETHAN
I know that Bo didn’t get a fair
shake at football, but who’s to
say he’s not better off?
He makes a good living and as you
once told me, he has a beautiful
wife that still adores him.
If Bo had extended his NFL days,
living the transient life of a
moderately talented quarterback,
he might’ve lost those things far
more valuable than a journeyman’s
football career.