The Wait

Well, i miss you.

TO not see you tommarow and the next day 
Is something I cannot handle
It's like not seeing thee over the weekend
That never ends

And the aching in me begins
And until i see thy face
It will never end
Its a fire that never is extinguished

I miss your hug, your smile
You presence, and your intellignece
And when these long days end
I'll see you again

Reviews

[Craig Bates]

Heartfelt. I always find it quite difficult to comment on things that are obviously personal but I'll give it a go.

My first suggestion would be to really question if you need the archaic words in there. Maybe you're used to reading poetry that thee's and thar's a lot and if you really want to write like that then that's totally your choice. But I think it feels at odds with the rest of the poem here and you could make it much stronger by finding other words to replace them.

I don't want to over comment on this and that's the main thing I'd say to improve your poetry. Experiment, keep writing - but keep reading as well. Welcome to the cafe =)