Sweet Intoxication

I don't drink, i just felt that alchohol was a good metaphor for giving up and hopelessness.

So scared of leaving this room I'm in
It is the eye of the storm
Quiet, peaceful
I'm scared of what's around me and what could be of me
Scared of releasing my troubles through intoxication
Because at the moment
The only thing that seems to calm me down
Is the thought of a liquid, numbing all my senses until I forget I'm in a storm.
Allowing me to walk freely through the world
Without nary a care in the world

With a bottle in hand
My secret dangerous source of happiness
The only kind I can find or control.
Sip by sip. 
I let it take over
Gulp by gulp
It's intoxicating me
Once by once
I will not stop it
Cup by cup
I feel it in my veins
Glass by glass
I want to drink it all in
Bottle by bottle
Till the bottles break, and I'm found left with nothing, but my friend Sweet Intoxication.
Till the moonlight turns into beautiful violet shades of purple and indigo
Till the dark turns to dusk and
Scarlett amber waves trace aroud the sun


And I'm alone surrounded by my broken bottled companions. 
My companions throughout the storm
Waiting to be filled up again
When the next storm hits

And it hits again. Harder than the last one
Throwing me side to side
Like a lifeless doll
Stumbling and falling
Finding my companions support
Drinking them in as fast as they can fill me up with false elation
I take another drink to delude my surroundings
And as they get scratched away, I drink to forgetting the past
Drinking heavier
It is my way of repenting. And it feels good.
And as my past is blurred my present must be shadowed.
My present isn't a gift, it's an unbreakable curse that I fight against.
But can never win.
So I fight harder than I ever have
Thinking each drink will shadow my present into an abyss like it has done to me
But it only confuses me and I stop fighting the curse because I've given up.
So I drink to giving up

Up is where I am, down is where I never aim to be. 
But am already there.
Down in the slums of my mind, where drinking I think, is the only way out.
So, I poison myself with each extra drink.
And the drinking never stops because the storms are never over or calmed.