Score.

This is a short story about the ability to score.

The cleats rest on top, moving it back and forth, I try to just look into her eyes.     Score.     With a sudden movement I jerk to the left and move to the right, she is left behind. Adrenaline rushes through me, I start to speed up twenty yards, ten yards, five yards. The goalie comes out, I panic.     Score.     All I had to do was get this ball into the back of the net. Waiting til the last second, I strike the ball with my laces.      Score.     The net vibrates, shakes, and the ball falls to the ground inside the net.

Author's Note

Please ignore spelling, but please do tell me about any grammar mistakes. I really need some reviews.

Reviews

[Mica]

Soccer ranks high among the sports I dislike, so I don't know the thrill of scoring a goal that way. But I can connect because I play other sports like Hockey and Football.
In such a short story, you really captured the thrill of finally breaking away from one of the last obstacles between you as a player and scoring a goal.
I love sports though and my heart was racing as I read this. Like I said before, soccer is definitely not my sport of choice, but that didn't stop me from getting into a story ABOUT soccer :) Meaning: Excellent job!

[Hannah Monttkomepy]

Well, I've never played soccer, so i don't know how it feels to score or almost score, but it was almost like I could feel my heart start to race as I read it. So, I think it was a good job...

[PaperHearts]

Awesome! I used to be an avid soccer player myself, so I could totally relate to this story! I liked the way the emotions of the soccer player changed as the story progressed, as it really did reflect the way you feel when you're in the moment.
Great story!
~PaperHearts

[Ashbug:)]

I like this, not much of a soccer fan but it's good. Great job.

[SilentDreamer]

Definitely different and creative. Though no ryming it's still a good poem, nice job. :)