Chapter 1 The meet

Max powersvine has just finished school for the day, he was walking home when he meet Emily dawnstone at the shop, they talked about school and the teachers at the schools.

 

Every day after school they would meet at the shop that they first meet at, to talk about their school day. The next day they meet at the shop when the friend of Max's father came at the same time as the friend of Emily's father were it is revealed that Emily's mum is friends with Max's mum and that they were here to check on them, so Max introduced Emily to Barry Smith and Emily introduced Max to Jeremy Barren.

 

The next day they met at the same spot when Emily asked if Max had a girlfriend, which he replied no and then Max asked Emily if she had a boyfriend, which she replied no.

Reviews

[Frank Miles]

Boy meets girl. Always a good start. You're telling the story in what writers call narrative summary. What you want to do instead is to drop the reader into a scene full of sensory data, so it feels like we're there.

Take a look at this article. You may find it interesting.

https://tobiasmastgrave.wordpress.com/2012/02/28/technique-scene-vs-summary/

[¿]

Great starting....hailing to the next chapter!☺