The Fatal Truth

There's something she doesn't know, and I don't know how to tell her. Truth hurts.

I need to tell you,

But I can't.

I ought to tell you,

But I shan't.

Not right now,

The time's so soon.

And the flower here

Is just in bloom.

I can't let this

Be our doom.

But I should tell you,

yes I should.

And if I found the words,

I would.

The secret's fatal.

 

So much has happened

in this last week.

I just don't know how

you'd feel about this geek

If I told you

the fatal truth.

Reviews

[Zack Burton]

On this site, you probably won't hear this much, buuuuuuut... I think this needs work. You've got an awesome concept, and awesome rhythm, but the words really seem a bit dry/cliché to me.

You're a young writer (like me), so I wouldn't be concerned about the quality of your writing at the moment. It'll get WAAAAAYY better than this.

And this is pretty good.

[Jaeda]

Have faith in your friend (good poem, by the way) and lots more faith in yourself. If your friend was truly a good friend, I'm sure they'd understand. Sharing secrets and giving understanding are what friends are for. Go be brave! Go get her!