I Saw You

About how I felt when I met Richard, my boyfriend.

I saw you,

And I smiled.

I saw you,

And I laughed.

I saw you,

And I melted.

I saw you,

And my heart danced.

I saw you,

And I crashed into thousands of people for staring at you...

I saw you,

And I fell in love.

I saw you,

And I knew it was forever.

I saw you,

And I believed in love at first sight.

What I thought was the most ridiculous of all loves.

I saw you,

And I was proven wrong.

Reviews

[VintagePixie]

I, personally, love the repetition. I find it more effective to the feeling of the poem. Even though I've never been in the situation you're writing about(meaning, I've never been in love), I can really feel the love in this poem. Beautiful job! :)

[BELLA]

grate job

[Jessica]

Good Job! I didn't know whow you were going to end this but it was agood twist, caught me off guard! Nice work!

[Ernie Roman]

well i think it is a good poem, love the repetition and loved the ending... ill get to read your other work... good job!!

[Jean]

Awww. I love this onee (: Its different than your others. The ending is like the best ending cause its a surprise sorta :D I love the repetition of I saw you. :3

[Vanessa]

sorry, well....i wrote this on the spot and in less than 2 minutes. its just flat out simple and what i felt in few words. sorry if it doesnt keep your attention, i guess its a bad one lol

[Gigi]

Cute, I had the same thing many times. :) Especially just about a week ago. *sigh*
It makes me all fluttery inside, but I think that instead of saying the word "saw" all the time you should try substitute it with some other words like... "viewed" or "gazed" and "peeked". That would have really kept the interest of the reader.