what I see

a part of my life

Each harsh thing I see
blood, tears
where's the perfect?
that's what I fear

I'm not scared of death
not one bit
I try, and I try
but still feel like s**t

why can't I be safe
safe from the fear
fear of life
fear to steer

where to go
there's way to many ways
where to show
I'm starting to gaze

future, past
it never changed
now, later
this isn't a game

Reviews

[A.j. Dru]

Very nice work. Simplicity works here. I like the subject matter and the delivery. I really have nothing bad to say about this poem. I do, however, challenge you to explore poetry a bit deeper. I like that you did not restrict yourself to a set rhyme or structure, but I'd like to see you tinker with other poetic devices. I'd also like to see you really color your words with detail. This poem works fine because the generalities of the subject, but i can see you have potential for even more. Overall, great job. Keep up the good work. Can't wait to read more.