Rescued

 Chapter One

 

                Most normal girls like to go shopping at the mall and spending lots of money at Sephora. Or talk about the latest fashion trends and celeb gossip. Having girls’ night out and discussing which boys they like. Taking cute selfies and posting them on Instagram to get the most likes. Well, I'm not your average teenage girl. I hate wearing makeup and I can't stand social media. I prefer being alone and being outdoors. I don't mind the dirt and becoming one with nature. My passion in life or I guess a hobby is going hunting. 

               

                No one really taught me how to use a bow. I kind of just learned on my own, but my uncle taught me all that I needed to know. From where to aim and safety with how to react do encounter big predators. My parents hated that he taught me how to hunt, but I love it. 

 

                Unfortunately he passed away in a hunting accident, which is why my parents really don't want me hunting anymore. But when I'm outdoors hunting, I can really enjoy life. I take in all the beauty of nature from a spider spinning its web from the smell of sap from the pine trees. Hunting takes me away from a world that tells girls that to be pretty you have to have over 11 likes on a picture or that you have to have a boyfriend to define you. The woods are my escape. 

 

                As I climbed over the fence that separates the city from the woods, I make sure that I have all my hunting equipment. Since it hasn't rained in a while the animals will be moving more to find water. The woods are my favorite place where I can just be me. When I was in the woods it felt like I was finally home. It’s not that my family is broken. No, I have a loving father and mother who love me endlessly. I just feel different. Like I was meant for something else. 

 

                At school, I have no friends because I'm afraid no one will love the true me. The girl who goes hunting and likes to get dirty. The girl who gets straight A's and doesn't talk. Truthfully, I tell myself that I don't have time for friends. My woods were the only thing that would listen to my dreams and nightmares. My parents hate it when I go into the woods alone, but I can't help it. It is like the woods are calling me. 

 

                The woods may look dangerous and mysterious, but as you walk into it you enter into beautiful world full of colors, sounds, and animals. Pine trees are in single file lines with random oak trees interrupting their orderly fashion. Purple, blue, and yellow wildflowers bend to the ground from lack of water. The ground was sprinkled with pine needles and branches. Cardinals and blue jays sing to me leading me deeper into the woods. Farther into the woods, I spotted a rabbit hopping in the brush. I squatted down and loaded my bow. All of a sudden, the rabbit dashed off into the woods. Something most have spooked it. 

               

                As I moved deeper into the woods, there was a strange crackling of leaves. I crouched down low and have my bow ready. From the hill, a mountain lion came walking down. It was the biggest mountain lion I have ever seen. Its fur was glittering in the sunlight like a fire and its eyes were deep amber color. I could see its muscles flex as it slowly eased its way down the hill. The majestic beast held its head up high like it knew it was the dominant predator of the forest. No wolf or bear could match up to his mighty strength.

 

                 I hid behind a tree. I need to get out of here. I know what to do if I ever encounter a mountain lion, but I don't think it saw me. Normally, they don't attack, but I rather not take the chance. I slowly start backing up while the mountain lion has it back to me. However, since it hasn't rained, I accidentally stepped on a stray branch that made a loud crack in the quiet forest. "S**t," I hissed. 

 

                With a quick swing of its head, the lion's green eyes stared back at my now frighten brown eyes. The lion stalked toward me ready to pounce at any second. I waved my arms and stood tall like my Uncle told me too. I raised my voice, 

 

"Go away Mr. Lion. I don't want to bother you." 

 

The lion continued to walk over to me ignoring my attempts to scare it away. 

"

Please I don't want to shoot you."  I said firmly. Why isn't this working? 

 

                I quickly grabbed my bow and aimed for the lion's chest. Please, please just go away I thought. However, the lion kept coming barring his sharp teeth. I aimed for his chest, but I was shaking so bad I missed. I gasped D****t, I never miss any of my targets especially this close. I quickly but slowly back away to load another arrow, but a root was in my way. I fell backwards and hit my head on a rock. I screamed in pain.

 

                I moved my hand to my head and it was wet. I could feel the blood drip slowly down my neck. I could have sworn that the lion was chuckled at me, as if he knew he was winning. I tried to reach my bow, but my hand was crushed down by the lion's paw. He does the same to my feet and other hand. I cried in pain. The lion must have been over 100lbs. I tried so hard to fight back, but the lion had me pinned down good. The lion licked his lips. I feel tears coming down my face. I was now the hunted not the hunter. 

 

                What will my parents do when I never come back? Would they be sad or angry that I disobeyed them? Would they tell me "I told you so" at my funeral? I closed my eyes and wait for the deafen crack that will end my life. Instead, I heard a growl coming from the bush. 

 

                A giant wolf jumped from the bush and knocked the lion off of me. I gasped as the lion’s claw scrapped my face as he fell over. I scooted away as the lion hissed at the wolf who growled back. I tried to get up, but a sharp pain raced up my leg. My ankle was sprained from tripping on the root. The lion jumped on the wolf with extended claws while the wolf dodged and attempted to bite the lion's neck. They move incredibly fast and each knowing the right moment to attack each other. I knew the wolf would probably be no match for the lion. 

 

What I was trying to figure out was where did the wolf come from and why was it attacking a mountain lion. Normally they hunt in packs, but with game that are not a big competition.

 

                 Seeing the opportunity, I loaded my bow and aimed it at the lion. This time it hit him on the shoulder. The lion looked at the arrow which was impaled in his shoulder. The wolf took the moment and bit the lion in the neck. The lion yelped in pain struggling to get free from the wolf's jaw. The lion slowly started to go limp in the wolf's mouth. The wolf dropped the dead body and looked at me. I finally got a real look at the wolf. 

 

                The wolf was black as midnight which looked like it would feel like silk. His eyes were a bright blue which seemed to become brighter when the rays of sunlight came in through the crowded trees. The wolf was so big that he could have passed off as a small pony. He stood tall and defiant proud of his kill. I waited for the wolf to start eating the lion, but he never even looked back at the dead lion. I never knew wolves could get that big. Or that one wolf could take down an adult lion. My head started to hurt plus I felt really dizzy. The wolf came closer to me. I didn't load another arrow, because I kind of felt in debt to it. It did save my life. 

 

                The wolf looked down on my face and whined. I place my hand on my cheek and saw that there was a lot of blood from where the lion scratched me. The wolf licked my cheek. He nuzzled his face into my neck and when his snout came close to my ear it growled, "Sophie." What, wolves can't talk, and how did it know my name. I must be going crazy or I really hit my head really hard on that rock. The wolf backed away and sounded like it chuckled. Again the wolf said, "Sophie." 

 

                Everything started getting fuzzy and dark and my eyelids starting getting heavy. I tried to keep them open, but that's when everything had turn black.

 

Was this how I was going die?

Author's Note

Hey!! I'm sorta back. Decided to revise this book maybe even try to finish it. :) Hope you like this revised chapter. Will do the same for the others.

Reviews

[NoblePariah]

This is excellent, my only thought on things to do would be to separate the paragraphs, as it adds pauses and emphasis to the thoughts. Also I think this could use a bit more specific detail about certain things: The woods, the lion, the wolf, just some imagery to increase the world you've created. I say that completely for constructive purposes. I will tell you it holds your attention well, and I think you've got a fantastic story/ idea here.

[The Invisible Girl]

Thanks for the advice! I'll work on that as soon as I can! :)

[Christian]

Okay this gave me major flashbacks to Carrie Vaughn, who has entire werewolf series called Kitty. This kept me on the edge of my seat and I can't wait to get into the rest of the chapters. As far as edits go. There were a few spelling errors I found, but nothing too major. Really like your work!

[♥ Kinnixk]

I love the idea/story! Something caught my attention at one of the last few lines of paragraph 2 where you switched from 1st person to 2nd. (I'm guilty of this as well haha) There are some small punctuation errors that are easy to fix. I'm really intrigued, great work :)

[The Invisible Girl]

Thanks!! I will go over it and fix the errors. :) thanks again for reading! Hope u continue reading..:)

[♥ Kinnixk]

Np and of course I am :)

[The Invisible Girl]

Awesome :D

[Skye]

First off, I noticed that the verb tense flip flopped a lot, such as, "it hasn't rained in a while" while most of the verbs end in -ed. And, "I shoot the lion, but I missed." Past and present are in that sentence. My advice would be to decide what tense you wish to write the story in, then stick to it. Second, more description! There is a lot of action going on, which is good, it keeps things moving, but you need to break it up with things like sight, and sound, and emotion. Details that let the reader experience the scene. Also, sentence variation is a key point to writing. Continually writing in subject verb subject verb can become monotonous and the reader will quickly become bored. Play with your sentences, experiment with your word choice, since that has a lot to do with getting the reader to actually feel for the characters and their experiences.
On the plus side, the chapter was clear and easily understandable. We got a sense of who she was and the story moved along without any confusion. It might have gone too fast, but adding in details will help even it out. I like the idea, and can't wait to read and see how you make it your own. :)

[The Invisible Girl]

Yeah...I know my verb tenses and my sentence variation needs work. I just haven't had the time to sit down and fix it. But thank you for pointing it out. :) hope you enjoy the next chapters!! :)

[Rhea752]

If I had any kind of talking animal near me I would first assume I was in Disneyland.... then faint lol. nice first chapter :D

[The Invisible Girl]

Lol! Thanks for reading! :)

[Shep]

Something most( must) have spooked him...


Wow what a first chapter, makes me want to turn the page. The details seemed real that it put me in the woods. I am hoping the other chapters are long and beefy.

[The Invisible Girl]

Thanks for reading! And yes some chapters are longer than this one.

[Chloe089]

ha ha "Sophie"

[The Invisible Girl]

Hope you continue reading.

[Edward]

A very nice read! Great work!

[The Invisible Girl]

Thanks for reading! :)

[Dark Rider]

I like the plot you have, but I did see a few things that I don't quiet like. You started a a lot of sentences with "The", and it felt kind of rushed. Maybe if you took time to describe the forest and what Sophie is feeling in more details it wil sound a little better.

Other than that, I liked this first chapter, and will read the next one as soon as I can. :)

[The Invisible Girl]

Okay. Thanks for the review! :)

[Dark Rider]

You're welcome.

[InsanityWriter]

I would probably reacted the same way as she did... Nice job!! :)

[The Invisible Girl]

Thank you for reading! Hope you continue to read on!! :)

[Horizon K.]

Wow awesome!!! I don't know why I didn't see this story before?!!! I would only say add a bit more lead up to the lion attack since the distance wasn't super clear.

[The Invisible Girl]

Okay! I'll see what I can do do! :) Thanks for reading! Can't wait to read the next chapter for your book!!