Bunny Adventure

A Story by Tristan Noir

A rabbit that got lost in an unconventional hole

When listening to playlists that burn your ears. There’s a bunny that came hopping out of the bathroom. You only do is smile and hop with it to somewhere where you think it can show you the easter egg or introduce you another bunny that has short ears and with fur as green as grass. Right as green as grass it will be. As the songs play in the background, it fades and reappears like a zit on your face after eating all those KFCs and stressing out who is more worth your time, True Blood or Top Chef Masters.

The bunny giggled at my thoughts, I didn’t mean to tickle it’s soul like they do when tried to tickle my brain. It itched, sneezed and that was the end of it. I hear numbers, airports, dates, echoing and echoing. Asian accents are funny, you don’t know or can’t point out what oral defect each one has. The bunny just glared back, I wonder if it’s Asian too. It totally read my mind when and threw me a big bowl of rice, wow, impressive china, dating back from the Dick dynasty. Picking it up, there was something that glowed back, shimmering diamond-encrusted bowl, written in traditional mushu noodles “ very tasty you yucky lady”. So appalled with the message, I wondered if it was meant to be only read by me. I get more confused and conscious at the same time. Creeping slowly towards my back, I could feel the vibrating aura, the aura was yellow, meaning it reeked with pee, my heart started beating faster. Boom boom boom boom pow, it went, sorry if my heart didn’t know the electro dance steps to the B.E.P. song, give it props though for great rhythm. I didn’t dare turn around, but I just had to…tilting my head to the side, it was a man, he was peeing in the urinal. The bunny led me to the men’s bathroom. I was furious and took out the Chinese bowl, it said “Ignore the smell, go on with the spell”. Lightning fast, the man sswoooped to my ear and whispered “Have a break, have a kit kat!” I backed off real quick, he didn’t wash his hands, I went frantic and searched for my alcogel, squeezed some on his palm involuntary of course. “No, thank you! I am not supposed to be here anyways. Please don’t tell anyone!!!” “ Don’t stress on it, I see you’ve been following that bunny.” Three letters in my head were floating “WTF” then it multiplied like babies in China, it became “How the f**k did he know about the bunny? Bunny?” The word bunny kept on echoing for a few seconds. In reality, the man,too, was saying “Bunny? Bunny?” for a few seconds with his eerie Asian accent like he’s about to sell me something, BUNNY? BUNNY? I almost shoved him away because he didn’t want to give me a discount. Putting all that deep-tissue thinking aside, I ran out of the men’s bathroom and straight to the fire exit. Will he ever catch up with me? I work the stairs pretty well, plus I don’t need no Red Bull to give me wings, I have whisper for that even thought it wasn’t my period, it gave me extra comfort. Like a safety pin. Extra comfort it is. Drum-roll in the background, I wonder if my hunger is forcing me to hallucinate. It’s the bunny again! It’s pretending to be that Duracell with the annoying drumming. It just smiled with it’s 2 big bunny teeth, or maybe that’s its normal face. It was hard to tell these days with all the body altercations. I didn’t stop running, right before the end of the exit to the ground floor.

It was that man again with that yellow aura, “Hi again!” All that popped out in my head was “YUCK!” I passed through the door, I felt like a winner, especially with Starbucks welcoming my senses and the freezing cold air conditioner that made the hair on my skin stand up. The door slammed open from behind, he whispered, “Starbucks will not fulfill your life, the bunny will, it will…plus you’re broke, so don’t even bother, beyotch!” That beyotch word rang in my ear like an alarm, an impulse of quick violence. I turned around, he was gone. “F****r!” I muttered under my breath, looking down on my shoes that aren’t really mine.

That quickly made me think of “What if you were in my shoes…” Hell yeah, I’m wearing them! Big deal! I wanna say lol but it is so inappropriate for this story. Where the hell is the bunny taking me? The truth was at that very moment, it wasn’t even around me, it drum-rolled it’s a*s to Playboy and wanted to chase its dreams to pose naked. It’s best asset, it’s damn fluffy tail. I
couldn’t believe all of this when it was sent to me thru SMS, I didn’t know it had a phone, was it because of its new job at Duracell? I
didn’t bother to reply. Outside were soldiers from the UK, definitely undercover working for Ukraine and Guacamole, it was obvious when I walked passed through them, goodness gracious, the strongest whiff of manholes.
How can these kids with their parents even meddle and take pictures on the gun-tearing, bombalicious battlefield.
Tanks were everywhere. Left and right my eyes darted wearily, my senses were all slowing down.
This story is leading to a grave full of skulls, bedazzled skulls. Very pretty grave.