(Re)Creation

Cleverly, words have been spoken
creating waves of unparalleled beauty
within the once subdued waters of
my soul...yet now, I remember naught

Gingerly, one fingertip glides about
forming semi-circles and figure eights
on the back of my arm...respiration
comes to a halt, then quickens pace

Conspicuously, breaths become sighs
singing something unintelligibly true
into the space between halves...
I am lost, as I have found everything

Coincidentally, I'm not the only one
finding words suddenly impossible,
lips finally inseparable, hands naive...
this then, is what we were fated to be

Gradually, I've been assimilated by we
becoming less myself ...yet more than I
could have ever imagined self to entail.
Submitting to my other, I fly free

Reviews

[SK Woodiwiss]

Wonderful images. The entire work is a circle a figure eight. I have a full sense of revolving and moving slowly in a sort of soft lullaby circle.
Best line "I've been assimilated by we becoming less myself," it simply makes the poem move again into a circle facing ourselves and recognizing but not recognizing what we have become in a relationship - very peaceful in moving forward but still around
Thank you

[Dennis Shanaberg]

A lot of the poems i read here often have a tendency to add things that don't need to be there while the idea with poetry is to usually make your point in the most stripped down way possible. Each word should have meaning, a reason for being placed there. And this poem is perfection as far as that goes.
The opening word of each stanza I found somewhat unique, giving a different voice to the poem. While, this style I have seen before somewhat, never done as well as it is here. Each word, cleverly, gingerly, etc. actually fit within the write and was completely necessary.
Additionally, the feeling here was amazing. You chose just the right words to convey each touch, each emotion.
Lastly, I love a lot of the ideas here, that somewhat go beyond just the passion of the piece. "Hands Naive" is probably the best example of this. As they are not fully aware of what they are doing, but doing it still.
An amazing write, one of the best I've seen on the site to be honest. Keep it up.

[just rose.]

The last line of this poem is a triumph. I am particularly moved here by your brilliant use of alliteration -- the poem really sings because of the consonant sounds in it -- lyrical and beautiful.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This is a beautiful merger of spirits intertwined. I loved the feelings wrapped up in this poem. Your flow was really smooth. I found your rhythm to be quite violent. The stanzas strike viciously one after another. I never found space to recover until the last words. That is my favorite thing about this poem. It moves forward with ferocity, never peaks and never lets up. In the end you closed it with a gentle touch. With such energy in each stanza...I felt a sense of relief in the end. The message came across in your words and in your structure.

[Dane Osborne]

I dug this. i think what you were trying to convey(and I could be wrong of course) was the subjectivity of perception and how we see things for what they realy are when we submit to that subjectivity.

[Ed Hart]

what a fine and accurate presentation of the merging that is a higher order of love...

[Lady Lazarus.]

'Coincidentally, I'm not the only one
finding words suddenly impossible,
lips finally inseparable, hands naive...
this then, is what we were fated to be' wow....this stanza really sticks out to me..people try to put up this front when really even those who seem superhuman have the same fundamental human worries and uncertainty in their actions..your poetry has such beautiful imagery...love this.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Gradually, I've been assimilated by we
becoming less myself ...yet more than I
could have ever imagined self to entail.
Submitting to my other, I fly free


The whole poem is certainly a wonderful composition of how love takes us over but I particularly love the last stanza... for it is true that when we commit to another we lose part of ourselves and yet remain who we are and the part that changes is always for the better.