For the 500 words group... decided to make this one into an epic poem
This hallowed place I'd never feared to trod for home was closer by a mile when I cut my path through the old battleground, just a fence around some un-worked sod and a battered plaque that showed tourists where arrowheads could (shouldn't) be found
Near midnight it was, one stark autumn night when I was trudging home from my labor, past the mill down by the old, trickling creek guided onward by slivers of moonlight; following the footsteps of nights before... when from behind in sudden came a shriek
Turning though shuddering, I dared look; realized it was a fearsome neigh I heard. Sleek, muscular and black with mane of gray stood a horse... one long pause my breathing took, for his body was of unearthly size and strength his hooves were quick, and I stood in his way
In moments the dark wonder ran right through not disturbing, but chilling, my countenance: Nothing but a living spirit was this beast though I had never thought such stories true I knew this was no figment of imagination. Absconding appeared wise, to say the least
However, something stayed my pace and I felt all fear absolved by the stallion's will; now remembered a yarn I'd heard spun around some campfire, once upon a July, about a dark horse who roamed this land since the days when our battle'd been won
A war horse, savage, raw, and untamed commanded by whomsoever he chose, Those this dark warrior deemed fit to abide always returned, not one single hair maimed... until one day, in the campaign's finale the horse and his mount had fallen, died
Why at last had his selection failed him this horse who knew whose mount to be? He'd chosen a man who looked like another twins, and one had, upon a whim decided the other had more of a need, and gave use of the horse to his brother
Standing now behind me, his fearsome glare resting upon my back-turned face must be none other than Midnight Splendor, that equine god of war with silver hair. Now that my legs had lost all gumption I had no choice but sweet surrender
This hallowed place now feels like home as each night I mount my glorious ride holding fast to my murderer, my friend. Contentedly matched, forever we'll roam over the trails where so many once fell warding you, all of you, against such end
Truly epic and imaginative. You've woven words into intricate lines filled with suspense and fantasy. This piece took my mind into an alternate universe where legendary horses and powerful warriors exist.
You have constructed this piece very well planting ideas and images, that become graduallly more vivid, in the reader's mind as you intensify the tale. My murdere, my friend is a cracker of an end-piece.
Well done.
ATB
Alex.
this is an amazing write. the description is splendidly put and I can picture the events unfolding in my mind. You have a great imagination with the ability to paint the scenes in my minds. The horse seemed to jump off the page at me. Sorry this took so long for me to review.
I love the up take - my murderer, my friend - wonderful.
The feel is almost a wives tale, an old feeble story teller who suddenly stands, arms outstretched, a glorious warning. We all stand mute with surprise and wonder, then, suddenly alone with the echo of a fading gallop - do we decided to believe or decide we dream?
Excellent - thank you
Poem is amazing. I like these stories of myth and War. Description and your story made me want to read it again. I like the strong ending. You can write a story. A excellent poem.
i was gettin more and more engrossed with every line... you truly deserve an applause for writing such an intense and gripping write that too based on a epic you thought of...
Great job and even I felt that i was reading some great poet's write! :)))