Man's Story

Upon a little planet floating through a massive space live a species who call themselves Mankind. They are lost in a sea of bland empty words, spoken, fading into the wind. Separate from one another; unplugged from the collective synapse, each soul as a lone entity, they swim through a hollow whirlpool- and call it: life? Life as they know it- is that really life at all? Or is there something omnipresent, now dormant, lying in the cave of each conscious, all of theirs- that defies all of their modern technology?


Men draw lines in the sand, calling this land "mine" and that "yours", using patriotism and faith as reasons for hate and violence. At their hands Mother Earth lies drawn and quartered- the shards simply still- waiting for the vultures to approach and devour her. They not only prepare the sacrificial feast, they are also the birds of prey who will come to dine on what little is left. Are they so apathetic they cannot care that, when she is gone, they too will cease to be? Or are they somehow blinded by ignorance of their full potential, which relies on her?

 

A long time ago, so long that most cannot remember, their ancestors knew that the moon and stars could be used as guides. Those ancestors knew of a natural order, and were careful not to alter or disrupt it, realizing that they, too, were a part of the earth. They lived in symbiosis with all around them, in those ages past. They lived not on the planet, but with it- a divine union, upon their creation.

 

Slowly, after many many moons, the people desired more. They discovered that they could pillage their Mother and use her parts to build, to expand, to live a more comfortable way. However, it started to come at a price. A few noticed. They spoke up... It was too late. Their voices echoed through the halls of the new world, simply taking up space, affecting no one, nothing. Blinded by the desire to move faster, have bigger homes, consume larger quantities of resources, the majority of the people began the descent into a path toward their own destruction.

 

The water become dirty, the air full of the smoke from their factories. Men killed off species of animal and plant that were an integral part of the natural order of things. These losses weighed heavy upon them all, but they did not see it. They did not care to think of their children's chidren, and did not realize that the most important loss was of their ability to see things as they were- connected, each part of Earth and of their universe a part of one intricate web. Stubbornly, the people kept building and forgot that their foundation was being destroyed underneath the weight of the structure they were creating...

 

As Man has devolved, he has proclaimed it to be, instead, evolution. He believes himself to be far superior to those ancient ancestors so long ago, because he does not know now what is truly important. The foundation is cracking beneath him, causing tremor after tremor, but Man keeps saying he's a better architect than God himself. When all of Man's efforts fall down like a haphazard house of flimsy playing cards, will God step in and pick up the pieces? Or will the creator simply let them lay as they have fallen? Is this really what he made them for? Man knew once, why he was made. That was forgotten, along with everything else of any import. Perhaps Mankind deserves his fate. And yet... perhaps he can find some way to save himself... perhaps? The question is, will he even try?

Reviews

[The Perfectionist]

Like Spence, I agree with most of this, but there's one part where I just went "No" right aloud while reading it. Saying that Man is killing Mother Nature is a load of crap. The planet was around long before we got here, and it will be here long after we're gone. It's endured much worse than a few dozen factories. The expression is used by so-called environmentalists, and while it is occasionally done in good faith, the fact is Earth will be okay in the end.

Enough ranting; this is quite competent, raising good questions without getting offensive in any area (Like Spence, I put a solid amount of fault on religious institutions, but I had no problem with your referencing God).

My one complaint is that I wouldn't really call this a story. It's eloquent, but you're talking about the state of the current world, and only the loose narration separates this from being just a rant. I would say it belongs as a free verse poem, perhaps reworded some, because certain expectations come with the 'story' label, and this fulfills none of them.

[DBURKE]

This was interesting! I think the saying goes "The wiser man become, the more wicked they become!" There is the power of choice, the only problem is man or mankind dont always choose wisely.

[spence]

I loved 99% of this, but you really lost me at the end. Forgive my lack of religious faith, but I place a lot of the blame for mankinds follies firmly at the door of state and faith instituions and their coercive manipulation of the masses over the centuries. Profit for the prophets, etc. That's a subjective opinion however and I will not allow that to detract from my enjoyment of the piece as a whole.
I think you have expressed this world view, that I mostly share, with eloquence and deft skill.
A lot of this read like an amalgamation of prose poetry and an essay on ethics, though it was written concisely and had a definite impact on the psyche. I hope this gets plenty of reads as there are many universal truths in here that may help change idiotic perceptions and ideals of granduer that our species are somehow indestructible and infallible.
Excellent work, take care, spence