On the Cafe... (Just felt like sharing some thoughts)

I am here to share, and to learn, not to worship false idols or lavish on fake praise to win friends.

This little site we call Writer's Cafe can be a wonderful place to share, if you look around, and meet enough wonderful people. I prefer this to Myspace, hands down (and I am saying that as someone who used to be one of those "top bloggers" who get inundated with comments on that site). The problem with Myspace is shallow mentality. I hope this place doesn't become overrun and ruined by that ilk as well.

 

To me, this site has many purposes. First and foremost, I not only get to share my work, but to have helpful constructive criticism, from other writers. I do not appreciate empty praise. I like to be told what works, what doesn't, and what you would do differently. Constructive reviews are always appreciated and returned. Shallow praise I will not return. I only praise work when I can't find anything more constructive to mention, or it is too personal, or too flawless. There are many very talented writers here, trying to perfect their craft. Then, there are the others...

 

Someone else mentioned yesterday in a poem about the groups here, how annoying it is when you get an anonymous friend request, then an invite to their group. Usually, that person has not even read you, just wants you to read them.

 

I review few writers who don't read me, unless I find their work on the front page of writing and it strikes me as very good, or I see something constructive I can say to help with something that is very close to good. There are a few whose work I love so much I don't care if they ever review me. Yet, if I am approached for a friend request or group add from someone who is constantly singing "look at me look at me, read me read me please!" I become annoyed. I left Myspace to get away from that, right in the height of my blog "popularity". I do not want to see that here. If you are an attention w***e, best try and sell it to someone else, as I'm not buying.

 

If you are in my list of friends, it is because I like your work, or you like mine, or both. It is because there is something in your work, or in your personality and who you are, that I identify with. If I review your writing, it usually means that I saw something wonderful in it, even if I'm giving a constructive critique. If I am kind enough to add you only to find that you do not have the same goals in forming a friendship on the cafe, I will delete you. There is no sense in continually being annoyed by someone to avoid "hurting their feelings" as at times one needs to be put at arm's length in order to learn how to behave on a social networking site of any kind.

 

If you have formed a group solely to share your own writing and push it like you are dealing smack in constant messages and group features, I will not join. The purpose of groups is to have little places where a group of like-minded individual all share with one another. There is no "I" in group, just as there is not in team. I do not like to deal with vain and selfish people.

 

Also, if you only write one form of poetry or story, and then write something condemning those whose art takes a different from than yours, or some piece about how immature or un-talented anyone who is not you is, I will avoid you like the plague, to avoid wasting time with a closed minded individual. I may, and in fact usually do, tell you what I think of said piece of writing that puts down other writers, and you may not like what I have to say. I am nothing if not honest, and I will not change for you.

 

The good writers on the cafe are plentiful. So are the genuine, good people. Those treasures amongst us come from all backgrounds, of all races and ages, and all faiths. I thoroughly enjoy the different points of view in work and in reviews as well. I'm happy to be here, and I don't think I'll go away anytime soon.

 

Yet, please don't treat this cafe as though it were a mini Myspace. If you write to condemn others, idolize yourself, or spread hate lies or ugliness into the world around you, spare yourself and don't add me, or review me, or send me an invite to your group. In fact, do the writers here a favor and delete your account and go post on Myspace. You'll be happier there.

 

As for the rest of you, the ones who don't like Myspace and don't treat this place like a smaller version of that site, thank you for making this a wonderful place to be. Keep it up with the constructive, positive support of one another. It's a beautiful thing to see, all these writers working together to improve not only their writing, but the world around them. I love this place, because of you.

 

Author's Note

I am sure there are many pieces like this that have been posted on the cafe. I still had to add my own.

Reviews

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

I hear you Constance, I enjoy the cafe so much and lately have been trying to hang out more. I am often reluctant to give out my opion about people writitng because I have ran intouch very touchy writers and can't handle critisim. Then there are the "haters" who just feed their opions without consideration of the other writers emotion in the piece, or they don't understand the writing. All and all it' a good site and I meet some wonderful people, you included. Your view are valid and expressed well.

[AK]

I had all but given up on writing because no one ever read my work. All those little bits and pieces of my soul just sat on a shelf collecting dust. And then TL Boehm introduced me to the Caf�. I posted a few old favorites and nothing much happened until Emily read one of my pieces and sent it to all of her friends. Overnight the reviews began flooding in and I finally felt like I had something to contribute.
The desire to be read, to share, is more than vanity I think. For most of us we simply must write. A couple of my pieces have helped me deal with things I've kept bottled up for over thirty years.
But beyond that, I have learned a great deal about how to write here at the Caf�. And I've learned that there are precious and like-minded people scattered all over the place who are genuine, thoughtful, and caring.
I'm not much of a socializer I'm afraid, I don't care much for the "Myspaces" on the internet. But the Caf� is different. Here people can touch the hearts and souls of others simply by sharing their gift. I like that!
My only regret is that most of us will never meet.
Ahhh, but hopefully we'll always have "the Caf�".

[Emily B]

Well said.

[Samuel Dickens]

Your sentiments are mine. Being fairly new here, and not one to frequent many internet sites, I'm still learning about how people behave in this cyber-world. I have run into several of those attention hogs that just want praises heaped upon themselves, and I try to avoid them. Looking at my own stats, for every 2 reviews I do, I recieve about .9 back. When someone sends me a read request, I read it--religiously. Oh, there's no need for me to say anymore--you've already said it, Constance.

[Fran Marie]

I quite agree, Constance, you touch down on some very valid points within this informative piece~
no one should ever degrade anyone's work,constructive criticism is great but not rude remarks and yes, I have had a few rude comments in the past~ also I notice there are many who do spread their hating views here at WC~ I suppose there will always be some bad eggs in the basket~ some people just have to take a bite out of others to taste success for themselves or so it would seem~for the most part , I too think this is a great site filled with wonderful writers and friends like yourself~

THanks for writing this~Fran Marie

[Oxonian]

I am reading you, now. It takes time and I have to read away from my pc, rest assured I will review you :P).
Hope you have a great day.
Harry