His Dinner (One Sentence Horror Story)

One Sentence Horror Story for the contest.

     Awaiting the cusp of the brooding storm, the placid green sea bore sole witness as the craggy grey beast opened his foul mouth, and stuck out his rotting tongue, to reveal that his desert would be my immortal soul-- which he relished with sanctimonious aplomb.

Author's Note

I just made this up off the top of my head at 2 am for the one sentence horror contest. If you don't know a word, look it up. At the moment I am tired of "dumbing down" my language to "appeal to a wider audience".

Reviews

[Emily Elizabeth]

Wow this is creepy (in a good way XD) a very effective piece. Very unsettling. And rather ambiguous, too, which adds to the overall disturbing essence of this. A perfect horror piece! Also, I'm glad you used complex language. This makes the poem more hard-hitting in some ways, and even more intelligent.

[Mysteral - Night Prowle..]

Good for you. I firmly believe people should read to broaden their knowledge of the English language, even if it does mean keeping a dictionary close to hand.
Good story, loved the ending. Good luck in the contest.

[Ari]

While this doesn't grab me from the beginning (which it probably should, since it is so short), I really am captured by the time I get to "sanctimonious aplomb". Of course, after re-reading it about six times in an attempt to offer advice for making the beginning stronger, I'm beginning to picture such a beast, and I'm a little creeped out.

My only advice is to try and re-work it so that the first word is not an "ing" verb. That would give it a stronger draw from the instant a reader looks at it.

[Barry S. Maltese]

You say so much with so little. The imagry stark and revealing. The outcome hopeless, and definate. Nice work!