The Maid's Promises

This just popped into my head. I suppose it's rather like one of Henry VIII's love-interests is speaking out?

In the deeps of your dark irises

What kind of secret lies?

For I felt a chill crawl through

As I gazed into those eyes

Yet though there is foreboding

I step into your enthrall

In seeking out your mystery,

No choice but chancing all

 

I fear but I have courage, though

Enough to muster me

Into a sort of murmur

As I'm introduced to thee

A spark between our palms

In those eyes flaring, too

Will the mystery unveil

Permitting I shall conquer you?

 

For my soul was yours the moment

First I was found in your gaze

Heart gushing crimson torrents

Standing in a zombie's daze

Sure never to recover self

Not really wishing to

For life now holds no promise

But the one I make to you

 

I vouch to you my fealty, true

My savior and my king

Forever I am yours at last

For you are everything

Standing in your shadow

That's where I want to stay

Knowing you shall draw me near

At the end of every day

 

With my hands I'll worship you

With all of me, I will

I'll prove to you my passion

At least that is until

You take me to the gallows

Just like the umpteen others

Who knew they'd be forsaken

Yet had to be your lovers

 

When I stand before the orifice

And they put my head inside

The blade shall not dismember

The fact I am your bride

Though there have been others

And sure, there will be more

I'll know I took fate in my hands

And evened out the score

 

For I was born a country maid

Poorer than a merchant

And now I have lived with the King

Not simply as his servant

I warmed his bed and calmed him

When a fear beset his mind

His name in history will resound

Mine shall, too, in kind

 

Death, you shall have me as queen!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Emily Elizabeth]

God this awesome. Neoclassical in style, and yet there was so much heart and soul to this, that could appeal to the modern reader! You really know how to rhyme, and you know how to balance out your sentences, something that takes people years to learn!
There are two words that seemed a little out of place, however. The first was 'Zombie' in the third stanza. It just didn't fit with the whole historical, picturesque style, I didn't feel.
The other was 'true' on the fourth stanza. It just stuck out and seemed awkward, and interrupted the flow a little bit. I think you were rhyming it with the 'you' on the next stanza, though, so you might want to leave it anyway.
But again, brilliant, thank you for sharing!

[Tomás Ó C..]

Yes love brings us all to its gallows sooner or later!!!

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

This was journey through a love affair, forbidden yet inticing. Greatly written with lots of color and drama. Great write.

[Michael]

You take the reader through a rough journey on this ride. Today seems to be the day for poems that speak of honest feelings. It is very powerful.

I did see two little things: forboding - foreboding and do you really want to use the singular enthrall rather than the plural enthralls?

[Jason]

Wow, this is great. I wrote a similiar piece called 'The King's Wrath'. Check it out.
Loved this, great job.

Jason