The Moth Before the Flame (Fear of Beauty)

Swallowed alive within a moment
All the power cables disconnected
From these thoughts that have collected
Now to form a raging torrent
A river of fear and misconception
Born of the past and condemnation
A stream of tears -stark and argent

Whisked up in the pull of a dirty tide
All hope vanquished and conquered
From thoughts left unlaundered
Now to take me on a bitter ride
A lesson in regret from contemplation
Born of the past's own condensation
A whirlpool at the bottom of a rocky slide

I fell in and I want to swim back out
I fell in and I'm so full of all this doubt
I fell in and I want you to save me
But I'm so afraid you will look and see
The fear in my eyes and leave me here
Standing in the rain of my own creation
Under the clouds of  self condemnation
Naked and shivering, wishing for home
Afraid to move my feet, afraid my heart will roam
For now home has become where you are
In my mind you are always here with me
And I never wanted to go this far
I'm too scared and scarred to let it be
Yet I can't let go, not for a moment
I cling fast inside the inner torrent

Shaped by a past you had no hand in
All the light kept barred within a rusty cell
You hammered in and the fortress fell
Now you take me in your soul and we spin
Within the glory of a light so blindingly beautiful
And I can't help thinking that fate now is merciful
But I fear the escape of the light, wanted to keep it in

Gaurded yet never planning to let this all go
Always I will find a time I am victim to the fear
Hoping you can find a way to make it disappear
For what is love if not allowed freedom to grow?
You hold me in your palms, so rough and cracked
You fill a hole inside where I did not realize I'd lacked
And I am starting to figure out- I can't help but let it show

I fell in and I don't really want to escape
I fell in and if I get out my soul will break
I fell in and you have to save me
Or I'll drown in this, this fear you see
Terrified you'll leave me here to drown
My smile sometimes becomes a frown
Naked before you, frail and prone
Afraid I've shown too much,  you will leave me alone
For now home has become where you are
In my mind you are always here with me
And I never wanted to go this far
I'm too scared and scarred to let it be
Yet I won't ever walk away from you
My heart, though fearful, will ever belong with you

I will not fear the flame, so lovely, forever
I will fly in and not let it burn a wing
For we will survive as long as we are together

It is only in these moments of fear that I doubt a thing
And they are lies I tell myself

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I normally don't rhyme. This one just poured out this way. This is a new sort of write for me. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.

Reviews

[Michael]

Constance, I read it twice and understand your comment to me about "just letting it flow." I like that you have mixed up the rhyme scheme though I am sure it turns some people off, ya just can't please everyone. No worries, it shows me something about your mind.

I do think you should try your hand at blank verse. I feel you will find it to your liking once you get the mechanics down. It will also help you bridle the emotional tidal wave you want to express.

Still, nothing wrong with it as it is, I just think it will be beyond most readers to comprehend it as anything other than free verse forced to rhyme some.