Sunburn

Everyone thinks the sun is sooo great. Well it has its faults too!

 

 

 

                              

Here comes

the sun.  Killing-loving all

with its infernal rays. Burning through eyelids,

singeing cornea, melting waxed eyebrows and chapping painted lips.

Blazing ants through pin-pricked polarity.

Exterminating dark minus that lives in the heart.

Chambers of gold-covered red-runny victims of the night.

Don’t fear the sun, here it comes to save you

from the negative nightlife filled with passion,

love, envy, and lust.

 

Removing that foul time of R films and X pastimes.        Saving all from restful

   unconsciousness. 

Paralyzing the mind with        caffeinated rays of over-exuberant open-eyed knowledge              

           that the world will go on …unfortunately.           Oh sun, come ye

and light the forest so our man-machine,          dues ex machina, may remove its foul livery unhindered.          Allow man to continue his sins unwavered by darkness. 

Thank all for the good that it brings, here comes the sun.

 

 

Reviews

[Lkjhgf]

You know, this is the first poem I've read that spoke negatively about the sun, and considering all of the vampire poetry on this site, that's really saying something. Nice flow and good descriptions, killing ants with pin-pricked polarity and singeing corneas. Trying to understand the "Removing the foul time of R films and X past times". Perhaps because most people watch R films in the dark? That's my guess.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I love this write. I do not care for the colored text however; it hurts my eyes like staring at the sun. I know some writer's use this for artistic effect but to me, the art should be presented in the words; which you do so wonderfully here. I guess what I'm trying to say is ( If it doesn't come through in the listening; it will have little to offer my eye as the artform of poetry) But this does come through and for those who like the decorative colored text, I suppose that could be just icing on the cake.

[Clarisse Nanoit]

Love this poem... Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have an excrutiating sunburn right now, but maybe it's because of your skill. lol. This piece is definitely descriptive, and it rings universally true.
KH

[Natalie C]

Now this was an interesting piece, I don't know if I ever read something about the sun before, about the pro's and con's of what that sometimes overlooked ball in the sky can mean.

Loved the flow and the layout, just seemed to draw your readers into this piece even more!
Thanks for submitting!

[L.G. Knight]

wow.... very original... its hard to find a rant against the sun... this a rare find a rare find indeed and I absolutely adore it for its rarity.... and also because I am very fair of skin and can totally relate to love hate relationship....

anyway great write!

~Frances~

[A Shell]

wow ... it's been a while since i've read this one. It makes me happy ^^ night time is the best by far! although i do like the sun's warmth. This poem flows so nicely and has a lovely choice of vocabulary. as i'm sometimes a bit of an airhead ... i wasn't quite sure what u were refering to in this line :

"Chambers of gold-covered red-runny victims of the night."
i'm sure it's something really obvious that i've overlooked ...

i like that you mentioned burning ants ... my brother and i used to chase ants with magnifying glasses it was cruel of us but ooh well.

this whole piece is so clear and vivid ... i might have to base some art off of it. if u don't mind...

love,
Aerial
xoxoxoxo