My Favorite Pen

Just one of those days...

 

   I remember the first time I stabbed a man in the face.  I didn’t mean to do it, it just sort of happened.  Once upon a time, I was just doing my job, and my client decided to incite some violence into my usually nonchalant life.  I knocked, he came to his door, I inquired as to if he had the summary of his dues to Mr. Dowager (my respectable employer), and as usual, he slammed the door in my face.  After a brief encounter between the formerly new door and my right foot, he became quite complacent after reaffixing it upon its hinges.  After I rearranged the furniture with his face, he soon remembered the bet he lost and his payment, which he kept hidden in his sock drawer.  Kindly enough, he showed me his room, and funnily enough he and I shared a similar hobby, holding poodles out of open windows. As he rummaged through his armoire, I found my favorite pen and wrote out his receipt (after all, this is a business). Just as I checked off his name he pulled a large, black pistol from a drawer. Surprised as I was, I slipped on the pool of blood on the floor that was there before I even arrived (not that I am saying I was ever there or even own a pen). Anyway, as I flailed my way to the ground, my lucky pen became entangled in his eyeball, go figure. And in the ensuing confusion, his pistol accidentally discharged, twice, coincidentally blowing out both of his kneecaps.  Embarrassed as he was, he promptly paid me and asked me to leave quietly. Ah, good times, good times.

Reviews

[Taja B.]

This is very dark, but hilarious in a way. It's very nicely written, it was entertaining and it kept my interest. Eventhough it was very disturbing in a way that he would just continue to go on with his daily life and act like nothing was really wrong when he got stabbed with a pen!lol..

Nice job. Thanks for sharing.:)

[Fantasyfairy]

I found this interesting from the first line. It peeks the interest instantly and holds it until the end. A nice and entertaining short story. XX

[Virginia L. Wyatt]

I love the opening line. It caught my attention in a instant!

[None]

lol, love it! Crazy accidents like these happen to me all the time... :P

[Alyssa Dufresne]

Loved it. Just the right length; long enough to entertain me, and short enough that my retarded attention span didn't run away on me again.

I have a sick sense of humor and really needed the laugh. Thanks for the remedy.

[SM Davis]

HAHA...very entertaining!

[Aaron J. Wald]

wow....I think you are on crack.lol. Very odd. But I like the stuff I read to be odd. So I guess that I am odd too. I'm glad your fight was settled.

[Frankie]

I definetely have to read more of your writing. I got my giggles for the day as sick as it was. I am a hard person to get to giggle while reading. Great job and well written to boot. Keep it up!

[W.k.kortas]

Reminiscent of the old Genesis song, "The Battle of Epping Forest"--you have to love hired muscle with a certain Victorian sense of propriety. My only complaint is that it's too short--I think there's a good deal of room for development here.

[A. J. Bartlett]

I am fond of your writing, already. I, too, would write a story about a person who gets something insanely vicious done to them, and yet they keep going on with their daily lives; whereas, in this piece, it shows the dregs of vices such as gambling, and how if we get so deep into it we seem to lose sense of ourselves. At least, that's what I took out of it. I, on the other hand, simply have ridiculous things happen to people, and they just go about their normal lives; no metaphors or anything.

Kudos to you! Keep up the good work!