Six Ways to Sundown

Just some thoughts from the perspective of something we see everyday, but rarely think about.

I stretch six ways to infinity.
Caressing the world in my infantile grip.
Shadowing the plains with my everlasting luminescence.
Drooping over the edge of the sky,
Tingling along the farthest sights,
Seeping into the unknown unknowns.

Westward I drift,
Yet I drift nowhere.
All the drifting is done around me.
I remain asphyxiated in my own,
Personal void.
As new as I am old.

My skin crackles and pops like acorns on hot coals,
Radiating nourishing warmth for all to feast upon.
Yet the surrounding silence beats into me like a drum.
The silence is deafening.
The void is lonely.
I have no children to replace me,
And the flies provide no comfort at all.
Indistinct insects parasite off my choir of spherical barges,
At least I get to watch them grow through the ages
Until the final day I shut my eyes,
And take them all with me.

My wide blue yonder is black.

 

 

Author's Note

What do you think it is?

Reviews

[Tai Chi Italy]

I see a man about to find himself a wife, or at least realising the need to look for completion somehow. An interesting read, the replace line re children was quite revealing imo. As a mother of boys myself, I can assure you, we are unique and can't be replaced but we can pass on our traits good and bad and improve on both. Smiling at you, Tai

[Akaila]

I really like the texture and word vibe in this poem! very strong and fluid! thanks for enetering it in the contest! I really appreciate it!!
~akaila~

[Emily B]

Left me a little breathless. . . good poetry.

[Mark Pearce]

My guess is the sun, and in the immortal words of John Lennon, it appears that "I'm not the only one."

I write a few such evasive pieces and post-title them. (Checkout my primary writing repository www.marzguy.deviantart.com) They are fun puzzles and/or surprises, as the case may be.

Thanks for bringing it to my contest "The Kitchen Sink." May you experience the clockwise swirl of success very soon.

[Blackbirdsong]

I see a great tree standing in a forest. Perhaps a Bristle Cone Pine - those are the most ancient trees on earth and stand as silent spectators - as their voice speaks - throughout the ages. Perhaps it begins as an acorn and then flourishes...okay I'm probably way off with this one, but I love what you've written here. It's truly exquisite whatever its about.

There are poems which are tightly constructed words perfect in feel and texture and there are poems that touch the soul deeply in some way beyond the confines of such devices. This poems is luminous.

[The Elder Pine]

I think it is talking about soul searching and finding a place to call your own. You seel to leave your legacy behind and realize death is upon you and there is nothing to leave in your wake. I thought that this was a well done piece. Thank you for sharing.

"I stretch six ways to infinity.
Caressing the world in my infantile grip.
Shadowing the plains with my everlasting luminescence.
Drooping over the edge of the sky,
Tingling along the farthest sights,
Seeping into the unknown unknowns.

Westward I drift,
Yet I drift nowhere.
All the drifting is done around me.
I remain asphyxiated in my own,
Personal void.
As new as I am old.

My skin crackles and pops like acorns on hot coals,
Radiating nourishing warmth for all to feast upon.
Yet the surrounding silence beats into me like a drum.
The silence is deafening.
The void is lonely.
I have no children to replace me,
And the flies provide no comfort at all.
Indistinct insects parasite off my choir of spherical barges,
At least I get to watch them grow through the ages
Until the final day I shut my eyes,
And take them all with me.

My wide blue yonder is black."

[A Shell]

when you showed this to me a long time ago my first thought seemed to simple ... duh it's the sun. Then i kinda thought you were talking about death but I come to understand you were speaking of the sun all along. I really like what Skye Cebhfhionn has to say about this poem.
^^xoxox
-Aerial

[Andromeda]

i think it's a shadow

[SM Davis]

This was a very interesting piece. It starts out with a comfortable feel and as it moves on with him pondering it seems that life hits him with a sort of cold reality. I enjoyed this piece. Very descriptive. The flow was nice and the read was smooth. thank you for submitting!

[Skye Céibhfhionn]

I see the outline of the Sun, giving Life that ultimately will also take Lives. I see its existence and pathway explained in a way I have never experienced; beautifully written with an outmost love and affection. There is passion between these lines; words weaved thoroughly and thoughtfully - to layer because each perception gives a new angle to create reality within.

I see your philosophy - or so I assume; quite similar to my own. Life IS larger than me and mine; yet not at all often expressed or sought for in that very manner.

To me, this is about the Sun - the Life giver, the guiding light. I have no religion but have had the Sun as my focus point in Mind many times; its sunsets bring peace; sunrise give encouragement. It ensures a greatness of awareness; and an indescribable feel of Breath.
Thank you for the opportunity to Breathe. [smiles]

This piece is created through Brilliance and I'm in awe of your ability and artistry! I could quote it all for its beauty. Love your choices of words to use.

"I have no children to replace me,
And the flies provide no comfort at all.
Indistinct insects parasite off my choir of spherical barges,
At least I get to watch them grow through the ages"

... are SUCH clever lines. GREAT and beautiful work, Mr Conrad!

Skye