Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Aaron suddenly awakens in the middle of the night. Outside his large circle window, the city of Oasis gleams green as usual, the light twinkling from building to building. Thoughts from his fantasy world emerges and he contemplates going under at this hour but figures it would cause a disturbance in the house. The fantasy world are simulated realities that people can escape to. They can forget about everything, jobs, family, worries, and can live out their wildest dreams. The simulated realities were introduced in the year 2110. Now, people spend less time caring for their families or their jobs much, and more time fulfilling their fantasies  He pushes his thoughts aside and, eyes drifting out his window, falls into a sudden, and very deep sleep.

Morning surfaces from the night, and Aaron rises slowly onto the edge of his bed. He quickly dressed in a newly washed uniform for school. A deep green jumpsuit with gold trimming on the sides and the collar. Leaving his room, he walks further down the hallway to the kitchen. In the city, most houses are completely identical, ideal for living space and thats it. Checking the blinking clock that runs constantly on the wall, he realises that he’s up late and his parents have already left. He picks up his tablet necessary for schoolwork, and storms out the door. Outside, the array of identical houses that are usually comforting seem somewhat strange today. Ignoring the thought, he continues on down the freshly paved sidewalk.

As he departs from the suburban area, and enters the downtown region of the city, he notices something.. off. At this hour, most everyone is rushing around downtown, and he has not seen a living soul. Little does he know, this is only the beginning. Walking ten blocks more, trying to ignore all the constant flashing billboards advertising sayings like: Be happy! And: Why not take a break from life and go back under!  Finally, he arrives at the smoothly constructed building with the flashing title on the door; OASIS PUBLIC EDUCATION

He waves his hand up to the rectangular black keypad. A light on top of the door changes from red to green, and the door swings open. Aaron bustles down the bright hallway to his classroom, waves his hand and busts through the door. His teacher,    

Mr. Baker an older male with ordinary features such as short black hair, and vivid green eyes turns his head.

“Thank you for joining us Aaron, you’ve only missed...” he looks at his blinking wristwatch.

“Two hours and twenty five minutes.” He has a cold smile, that is anything but friendly. “Would you care to explain why you are so late?”

Aaron shifts his weight from foot to foot, a habit he often performs when nervous.

“Um.. Sir, I overslept.”

He looks back at him again with another cold smile, one that looks like hes going to banish him to the deserted lands.

“Why don’t you just take a seat, Aaron.” And with that, the teacher turns his head and goes back to the lesson.

Aaron cranes his head down and shuffles through the array of desks to the very back row, trying to avoid eye contact with everyone. He finds a row inhabited by only two other students, each from different parts of the city then him. He slumps down into an open chair, a reasonable distance away from surrounding classmates.  Looking forward at the teacher explaining the process of how our brains connect into our fantasy worlds. Of course, Aaron knows everything already, and why shouldn’t he? His fathers one of the head engineers that run the simulated realities in the city. So mainly this class is an excuse to get more sleeping time. He must've dozed off for a good amount of time because the next thing he knew he was being yelled at by his teacher.

“I SAID Aaron, what is the process called that connects our brains to the simulation?” Mr. Baker asks, his sharp green eyes peering down on his intensely.

Without hesitating, Aaron replies, “BCI, Mr. Baker. Brain Computer Interface.”

Mr. Baker seems somewhat surprised for a moment, but does not let that emotion show on his face for long. It is quickly replaced with the stern, menacing glare. “You are correct, Aaron, but please. Try to stay awake during class.”

Satisfied, Aaron returns to his sleep. What feels like days later, the standard electronic beeping goes off and each row of tables start to vibrate, signifying the end of class for the day. Aaron awakens with a start, and realizing he can go, quickly lowers his head and starts on his way out of the class. He grasps the door handle and is halfway out the door when he feels a firm hold on his shoulder. He quickly turns around in shock and see’s Mr. Baker, towering over him.

“May I talk to you for a moment Aaron?” The way he said it makes it more like an order and less like a question.

Damn, he’s definitely going to freak out this time.  “Um, ya sure Mr. Baker.”

“Please sit, Aaron.” Mr. Baker says, never losing his glare on Aaron once.

“I’d rather not.” Aaron replies, as he stays firmly standing where he was.

Mr. Baker just shrugs slightly. “You are informed about your fathers job, aren't you?”

Aaron doesn’t reply.

“I’d just like to warn you Aaron. What he is helping to create will destroy everything we know. And you may not know it, but he is also slowly destroying his self.”

Aaron takes a long gulp, and tries to think of a reply but he can’t.

“May I go Mr. Baker?”

His teacher looks sympathetic for a moment, maybe even caring. He just sighs.

“Yes.”

Without looking back, Aaron rushes out of the door and onto the street, where his heavy breaths meet him that he did not know was holding.

Reviews

[Cedric D. Jr.]

This is an example of good writing. I think more care should be taken with regard to technical things here and there (i.e. grammar, spelling), the most important thing being the toggling tense that goes back and forth between Present and Past. Aside from that, the story itself is compelling. This is exemplary of an author who is very good with the abstract concepts that drive storytelling. The setting (both time and place) is wholly creative, and the fact that the reader learns more about the setting as he or she reads is also indicative of, again, good writing. Dialogue can be a difficult part of prose storytelling for many people, but it's executed very well here; furthermore, I think the story is well-paced so far inasmuch as the information to which the reader should be privy is neither rushed nor withheld, and it is clear that more information regarding this setting (the society, its inhabitants, and its rules) will continue to be established at a steady pace in subsequent chapters. The most important aspects of storytelling are evident, so all that remains is the polish of the more technical things, which proofreading typically yields.

P.S.: Don't forget a title. If you're one of those writers who likes to wait a while before deciding on the title, I can understand that. I'm that way sometimes.