Changing Me

A plea to fighting parents

Changing Me

 

 

It must have been awful, what I saw

I can't remember it but I can still feel it

It lays over me like fog above the grass

Whatever happened, it changed me

It changed who I am

It changed who I was going to be,

Watching love turn to hate

Other kids have questions like, Why did you never come for me?

My question is, Why did you fight in front of me?

You left me looking for something that doesn't exist

It only existed between the two of you and I never got to see it or feel it

I only wanted to fix it

What love I did see your shared hate erased it

Since then I've chased after it

Now I'm twenty-four and I'm lost

I am empty and scared because everywhere I look love is not there and it's missing

I am angry and broken because it was taken before I ever knew what it felt like and I deserve to feel loved not just be loved  

 

Author's Note

wrote this in 2004 when i realized a lot of things about myself tht i was hiding