untitled poem

this was something i wrote in reply to a friend, who had emailed me.

the weekends are fast and

i can't slow it down

i can't read

i can't write

i can't find enough 

time to do 

everything

i love

except cry

over television that makes

my heart

stir

i sleep more and more

more than i used to be able to

and my eyes open

in the middle of the day

which is a waste.

i am becoming careless

with my work

with what i have to do

with what i am supposed to do

with what will make me happy 

(will endless hours of working pay off?)

i hate being confined to

all the things i am bound to

and yet they say never

forget where you come from,

but i feel myself

slowly disappearing

is this what it's like

to grow up?

i'm sorry i haven't had time

to start writing for the zine

but i will try 

my best

because i want to create 

something,

and i know that you do as well.

i eat more than i did before

i am always eating

and it scares me

because i can't tell if

this is good or bad,

when you eat just because.

in one of the books i am trying

to read,

it says that you can't

protect yourself

from sadness without

protecting yourself

from happiness --

i am starting to feel

the full effects 

of being lonely.

i guess you can't

call this a poem

anymore --

it's too long,

and tiresome,

and boring,

and unchanging 

in what it's trying to say --

kind of like

what life 

is supposed to 

be.

Reviews

[DeCipher]

I've had plenty of these kind of days. You just have to untangle your mind and climb out of it. This life is tiresome, boring, and unchanging, but better things will come!

[Kenilo Kent]

I've been through worse... It reminds me soo much of myself. Thank you soo much for such lovely poetry.

[zainul]

You have expressed yourself completely.
Perhaps you have spoken on behalf of a lot of people of the world.