I thought you were heaven

and I don’t even believe in heaven

I thought we would kiss in the ocean

tell jokes until the sun came up

I thought we would

touch each other in and out of souls

make each other laugh until we hurt ourselves

I thought you were

everything

my reason for being

so fucked up

I thought you were 

beautiful

the explanation for why I am what I am

I thought you were 

my answer

for why I breathe

why I hurt

why I could never care

for anyone else

I thought you were

the goodness i never could grasp

the love I never

imagined

a future I never

knew existed

a future never thought

would die