if i counted the things that i'm ashamed of

my ears would split open

and turn on me

there are parts of you 

that still linger

the stale scent wafers in and out

of my mind

 

I don't feel myself collapse

I just look in the mirror one day and I'm gone

I slide my hands down my body

but my skin never answers

 

I feed myself names

they crawl about my insides

crying for attention

one by one they leap off my tongue

and find another belly to make a home in

 

I'm waiting

still

to be blinded by a desire that explodes in flesh

to touch a man made of stars and teeth

who smells like tree houses and whiskey

a man that fights with words and wins with skin

who kisses in closets and unwraps me in airport bathrooms

a man that says my name

a million times 

and never weighs it down

with doubts