Memories

Like a cradle being rocked by a caring parent.
Like a windmill going round and round.
My mind is swayed and uneasy.

As avatars of sorrow and joy clash,
Fighting due to their ethnic diversity,
Cavalrymen of despair pierce my heart.
With their javelins of woe.

You've let them in.
By going away and leaving the gates open.
But behind you leaving no trail.

Soon on a new path I'll embark,
Preferably one with blooming trees,
But you'll still leave a mark;
You'll become memories

Author's Note

My first poem on this site I hope for harsh critics

Reviews

[d.haze]

Znas ko sam pa mogu pisati na crnogorsko-srpskohrvatskobosanskom right?
Rekla sam ti vec da mi se ovo svidja, sad cu ti to i javno ovdje reci, doduse malo detaljnije.
Svidja mi se jer me podsjecas malo na edgara alana poa, u nekim djelovima, ali opet zadrzavas svoj stil sto se jasno da primjetiti. Ono sto ti nedostaje i sto malo 'strci' jeste upravo neka zvucnost pjesme, njena melodicnost. Vidi se da ti fali malo tog 'zanatskog' djela dok pises, ali sigurna sam da ces to steci prije ili kasnije.preporucila bih ti crnjanskog, i kisove analize crnjanskog, if i may :):):)
zvucim pretenciozno za nekog ko ne umije da pise nista vise od fanfikcije ali poznajemo se tako da yolo wtp todor fighting!

[Hope_Lescase]

That is powerful. And so true, especially with what is going on in today's society.

I raise my glass to you, good sir. :)

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

Heh thank you for kind comments.

[Silent Wolf]

~I believe you meant "Like *a* cradle being rocked by a caring parent."

I did enjoy this poem, however I'm having a bit of difficulty determining the tone. I'm getting a sense of sadness, however the last stanza gives me a sense of hope. Correct me if I'm reading this wrong, however, those are the feelings I am getting.

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

Ah I almost got away with that mistake! And yeah it's what the poem is about and sort of my outlook on life and it's hardships.

[Silent Wolf]

XD I know the feeling. :3 That makes sense. :) I enjoy reading your work, and that is a good outlook on life -- that despite the sadness that came about, hope will still ensue.

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

As long as there's cats and chocolate it will.

[Krizito]

"Cavalrymen of despair pierce my heart.
With their javelins of woe."
Nice metaphor...I'm awesomely impressed. Good job..keep writing and getting better is what you'll be doing.

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

Thank you I will try to get better.

[Krizito]

That's the spirit...#Better

[wizardlypoet8]

this is really amazing. I love this, you used metaphors I would have never thought of. This is really fantastic. 100%

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

Thank you for reading it heh glad you liked it. I'll make sure to return the favor by reading your writing when my schedule gets a bit cleared up.

[wizardlypoet8]

I feel that haha take your time c:

[McBear]

This was very good! I dunno if you didn't include periods for a reason.

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

If i say yes will you forgive my laziness?

[McBear]

Yes, haha. Here you go, I fixed it for you..
Like cradle being rocked by a caring parent.read moreYes, haha. Here you go, I fixed it for you..
Like cradle being rocked by a caring parent.

Like a windmill going round and round.

My mind is swayed and uneasy.


As avatars of sorrow and joy clash,

fighting due to their ethnic diversity,

cavalrymen of despair pierce my heart.

With their javelins of woe.


You've let them in.

By going away and leaving the gates open.

But behind you leaving no trail.


Soon on a new path I'll embark,

preferably one with blooming trees,

But you'll still leave a mark;
You'll become memories

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

Thanks hehe I'll change it tomorrow.

[McBear]

No problem bud

[Miss Sharon]

Welcome to The Writer's Cafe! I hope to be able to read more of your work. This post is well written and captivating. I especially like this stanza (Soon on a new path I'll embark Preferably one with blooming trees
But you'll still leave a mark You'll become memories) Bravo! ~Sharon

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

Thanks im glad you liked it. I'll try to improve so the whole thing can be equally good

[Deborah G. Adams]

We all become memories...good one!

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

Thank you heh

[Phoenix]

Very nice. I found myself constantly going back to read it again and again, with brilliant images every time.

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

Thank you for your review. Glad you liked it heh.

[Owl Arctic]

love your poem, great job.

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

Thanks for taking time to read it