Cold, Dark, and Gone

A Story by Collin Barham

A father, whose unending love will keep him back from nothing but having love and compassion for his ungrateful, nagging, bratty daughter and wife. Not even an earthquake.

It was perfect outside, the sun heated the air and the wind cooled it. The pine trees rustled and freshened the air. The weather was perfect. Flocks of birds flew over me molting a few feathers. A couple strayed from the flock, one perching on a dead branch dangling from the tree, the other, opposite of it. The wind started to pick up a bit, letting a feather from the birds, sway from side to side, gently kissing the top of my feet. It is a feather from a raven. Its thin silk like feel was very distinguishable from other birds. I walked between them as both continued to stare down at me. The moment I passed them they darted ahead of me putting a lot of distance between us. Another flock darted over my head, and another and another. Thousands of ravens flew over me. The ground started to rumble. The trees started to shake, it was a quake. The sunlight was consumed by the clouds. There is a scurry of squirrels running away in the distance. The air felt great but I can't say the same with the look of the sky. There was a storm. It came outta nowhere. One moment it was nice and bright, now it's dark and somber. What happened? The continuous rumbles turned into actual earthquakes.

The quakes always shook my house and rattled the pictures but this one actually shook me. The wind started to pick up quickly. The trees swayed like those waving tube inflatable flailing guys in front of car dealerships. I can't keep my feet on the ground. My hair's blowing in my face while I try to get it out but it will not stay back. Then I heard a crack. My hands froze, above my head as if I was pushing apart two walls keeping them from crushing me. A couple more cracks sputtered out, then more. Progressively getting louder, the cracks crept towards me.

I turned away, sprinting from the scene, running as fast as I could. The crack shot off instantaneously, out into the horizon in front of me, but I kept running.The ground was crumbling behind me like it was following me. A trench had started to form right behind my feet, but I kept chugging and didn't stop. My short legs had no chance to outrun it, then my knees locked up and I was down. The trench became larger and larger and had caught up with me, surrounding my prostrate body. It seemed like it was waiting for me to move. I tried to stand up but the trench sunk in, it's a sinkhole about a 200 feet deep. It stopped halfway up my body, leaving me dangling. I knew no one was around for miles so I was just going to wait there till my arms gave out but I screamed as loud as I could, hoping by some miracle somebody would hear me using every last ounce of my breath left. My palms started to sweat and I lost my grip. My body fell into the pit like a rag doll hitting every ledge on the way down.

My head throbbed for hours and the pain still hadn't subsided so I laid there waiting for something to happen, to see if I was dead or if I was alive. Motionless I rested there waiting till I could see again. Then I realized, what about my family? Are they ok? What happened to Jenny? Or Shi? Are they hurt? Was it just me?

I woke up on the couch, and Jenny's still in her bed. But that's ok because I get up to make breakfast so she can sleep in. Usually, I make fresh pancakes every morning but this time we were out of batter. So I made eggs and sausage to make the morning a little special. As I prepared the food, the sun rose over the tear drop shaped lake reflecting on the waxed tile inside the house that lit the room. It took me a bit longer to make food this morning, but it was worth it. I paced the halls weaving in and out the doorways and rooms humming any eighties song that came to my mind. First some Prince songs than a few AC/DC and to top it all off Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi. I was so wrapped up in my tunes I almost forgot about the food. The succulent smell of sausage wafted through the air and sizzling eggs hit me like a truck! Oh! It is almost 8 o'clock and Jenny should be getting up anytime now. I could hear the sound of her alarm clock beeping in the distance. I was so happy, I can't wait to see her.

The skillet gave off a happy aroma that drifted pleasantly through the rooms of the house, contrasting my previously impatient pacing and humming through the kitchen and living room floors.

¨Lukas! Get in here!¨

That’s her.

Briskly walking to the door, I knocked ever so slightly.

¨I told you to come here, so that means you don't have to knock, all right? ¨

I fling open the door and step in, letting the door hit the wall behind it. There she lay. Her straight black hair molded by curlers, and face covered by cream with cucumbers gently resting her eyes. She is stunning.

¨I know, I know, I just forget I'm sorry.¨

¨Good, now bring me my food-¨

¨I told you yesterday we're going to eat as a family. You even agreed! Wait. I'm sorry I shouldn't have raised my voice.¨

¨Yeah, you shouldn't have. We can do that tomorrow.¨

My head slumped on my shoulders then rose as quickly as they fell, as the smell of eggs hits me again. I walked back to the kitchen, making sure not to wake Shi. But she hears me.

¨Luke! Come here!¨

¨Coming!¨ I yell cheerfully.

The door won’t budge.

¨Hey, can you open the door! It's kinda locked!¨

¨Ummm, yeah, you can get it¨

¨But its-¨

¨Just pick it or something it's not like I care¨

The shag carpet in the hall leads to the closet at the end.The closet holds all my random crap. Under the piles of junk I find my lock picking set, next to my completed Boy Scouts sash. I grab the lock set, close the door, and start picking, then it clicks. The loosened door opens by itself like a gust of wind had blown through.

¨Took you long enough,”she mumbles as the door opens.

She just lay there one leg under the cover. Her obsidian hair drapes across her stone face leaving one eye visible hypnotized by her precious iPhone.

¨You could have-¨

¨Yeah, yeah yeah I still don't care. I'm eating in here today so I can Facetime Cindy. Go get my food please.¨

¨Fine but you can at least call me dad!¨

¨How about… no. How about you go get my food.¨

There was no point in arguing. We would fight and Jenny would defend her. I closed the door and walked back to the kitchen, stopping mid way to make sure no one wanted me but there was no call for help, only the small quakes that always shook the small town in Montana.

The searing pain in my head brought me back to reality. The good thing is I can see and hear a bit better now. I need to find a way out. Ok I fell two hundred and something feet and didn't die that is a miracle. Now, I'm in a cylindrical crater with no way out. I start to scream towards the sky like it would help but all I got me yelling back at myself. I need a way to contact someone. My phone! I searched all eight of my cargo pants pockets. Nowhere. I scoured the the ground looking for it in every crack, under every rock. Nowhere.

¨Ok. Well what do I have? I have my tool knife like always, the lock picks I never put away and my wallet. I guess it's not all crap¨. I leaned up against the wall and not so gracefully slid down. I need a moment to compose myself. Running my hands through my hair I found a lot of dirt caked on my head and from what I can tell the sun is setting right now and I need to find some shelter in all this dirt or else tonight is going to stink. I sat there pondering my next move the I looked up from the ground and saw a glimmer, then low ding. My phone!! I sprung up running towards it like a drunk man not able to catch his balance and tripping on his own feet. It was trapped under a good size rock that I finally freed. It was a Clash of Clans notification my gold mine is now level twelve. I tried to call Jenny but there was no answer. I tried to call Shi but it was the same, no answer. I think they blocked me. The phones notification went off that I had five percent left mid call. I'm two hundred something feet in this pit and there is no one around for dozens of miles in all directions. No food, no water no nothing.

The notification sound repeated itself. This time It was a country wide emergency sent by text. An alert for a news story headline read: ¨Massive Quakes Separate and Shake All of America¨. The story continues on, ¨Earthquakes rage through U.S, and Canada borders, along with U.S. and Mexico borders breaking apart these once joined countries. Record breaking sinkholes swept through America like a wildfire. This disturbing occurrence has already taken millions of lives, including, actor John Matthews, Basketball Legend Brad ¨Crossover¨ Jackson and the life of our President¨.

Our country is gone. Sinkholes in every state bigger than most towns. This is insane. The phone flashed and it was gone too, it died. I had run my hand through my hair, it's wet. It was blood and lots of it too. I didn't feel it because my scalp is numb. I have no feeling in it whatsoever. The wound had healed but the blood did not dry so I was fine. I held up the black screen to get a better look at the wound but saw small black hole in the wall behind me. The crack from the earthquake followed the same path the underground sewer pipes did. The trench made way to the man sized tubes for sewage. I can't climb out of a two hundred foot crater so, I only have one choice. I have to go through the pipes. The tranquil murky crap water was still and calm but still smelled terrible but I went in anyway.

¨I have been in these pipes for days now. I think today is the fourth day of constant walking, yeah, yeah, yeah It is. I only allow myself three breaks but my twisted ankle has slowed me down a bit. There has been, well, not much down here. It's dark but I have my mini flashlight on my multi tool knife it has helped a lot. Each step I take unleashes more of the putrid smell from the slush. The smell of sulfur and waste was my worst enemy almost anything else wouldn't have bothered me. If everything dead in the world could be made liquid it would smell like this. The food down here isn't exactly optimal. I didn't think about what I would eat down here or drink when I got down here. So I improvised. There has been occasional cracks or giant chips missing from the sides of the pipes so I start by digging a hole in the dirt. Once the hole is deep enough I start searching. Searching for worms or other buggs. I have had twenty worms by now and twice as many beatles. When I find a worm I run it through my fingers attempting to get most of the dirt and slime off then I just pop him in. It does the job, but not well. For water I have found many cracks on the roof that dribble cleaner water from the dirt above it. It has not been the best but it keeps me alive.

I am really missing Jenny and Shi right now. I have never really been gone for more than a couple days away from them. I miss their voices, their presence. I hope they are ok. I bet there not even worried for me. Shi wanted me gone ever since she became a teenager.

The sun rose over the house baking the rain glazed roof from the storm last night. Jenny is having her friends over today so I cleaned every nook and cranny of the house just to make sure it is spotless for her. I don't want to embarrass her.

Jenny is finally out of her room. Her tall, boney stature with the loose curls almost made her look a bit creepy.

¨Well there's my ray of sunshine!¨

¨Lukas just shut up! You know I have a headache.¨

¨Ummm no I didnt.¨

¨Well you do now so shut your yapper. This place still looks a trashy a usual.¨

¨Well I cleaned it for you.¨

¨Sure you did¨

She pounced and sprawled out on the La-Z-Boy in her usual spot. Legs over the right arm, head over the left. Arms pointing towards the sky with the phone screen facing her.

¨Lukas, I'm going over to Courtney's house later so clean my room.¨

¨Woah woah woah! You're not going anywhere tonight. I cleaned the house for you so your friends could come over.

¨They can't come, with you here.¨

¨Well they will come here or you can't hang out with them.

¨You can't tell me what to do Luke.¨

¨I am your dad! Of course I can tell you what to do and would it kill you to call me Dad!

¨Actually it would! You don't do anything for me!¨

She jumped out of the chair and stopped to her room and Jenny came out. Her hair starting to uncurl and face mask cracking from being on so long.

¨Lukas stop yelling at Shi! She is your daughter not your dog!¨

¨I give up, yep! That's it. I'm going to take a walk, and when I get back we are going to sit down and talk.¨

I grabbed my wool sweatshirt. The fabric latching onto my dry hands like velcro.

I put my shoes on, grabbed my wallet and phone and walked out the door.

Her strangely round head shot out of the doorframe and I turned around

¨Lukas get back here! You- ! You-! DEADBEAT!¨
¨Dead- Deadbeat! Without me you guys would be! Ahhhhhhhhhhh! I'm leaving.¨

This is day seven, eight or nine. I'm not exactly sure. I don't really care I just miss them. I miss the way she gets mad it was kinda part of my lifestyle and now it's gone. Both of them, they are so alike.

I miss the days when Jenny and I walked around the neighborhood, talking and singing. We would just smile and be happy. I miss the pictures Shi would draw of the family. My abnormal arms and Jenny's stick body always made the worse of days better. We were perfect. Life was perfect. All was right. We all got older. Shi grew up and didn't need me. Jenny started leaving the the house more often and staying out late without even letting me know or giving me a reason why and it all collapsed. I want to hold their hands and lay next to them, tell them I love them.

It has been about a month now I can see some of my bones now, couple ribs, the bones in my finger, I wasn't heavy at all to begin with. This diet of worms and beetles is not cutting it. I either need to up my amount or find something else. I don't really feel like eating myself and I still will not even if I have to. I slosh through a foot of waste, each step feels more and more comfortable. I have listened to the drips of water for ten days now and I think I am losing my mind, I have no clue where I'm at and I'm at my wits end because I can only think about Jenny and Shi. My mini flashlight is about to die even after I have tried so hard to conserve it and I am about to just give up. There is a ledge on the right side of the tunnel that rats and mice scurry past all the time. I usually don't pay attention to them but this one caught my eye. It attempted to run past me but it's chubby figure was no match for once good speed. It had a raper in its mouth. Snatching the vermine I pried it from his mouth. I bet he would taste good. The rapper landed gently on the surface of the water and started floating down the stream in front of me. I will catch up to it some time. I caressed the little guy till he bit me so I dropped him into the water letting him squirm, he died. The wrapper was for a Hershey's bar. It was to expire in a few days but for some strange reason I had a gut feeling that game me a sense of hope that something good would happen.

I miss them even more now. All I want to do is hold their hands and tell them I love them, tell them how much they mean to me, but I don't even know if they are alive. Maby they are safe at home. Do they even miss me?

I kept on moving forward and forward I went. The smell of gas hit me like a truck.But it was the best smelling thing downhere. I haven't turned my flashlight on in days now. I'm afraid the battery will go out and I might really need it later. But the slush felt deeper and deeper so I decided to check. I was was walking in gasoline crap. And two inches from my face is a gas station. Im saved. The station had fallen from one of the sinkholes and was still mostly intact. I didn't hesitate. I sprinted to the other side of the building where the doors were. But the doors wouldn't budge. Luckily my tool knife has a glass breaker. It was like armageddon and all the stores are being open to steal from them. The store had everything I needed to survive. I grabbed a backpack and filled it with medical supplies. Bandages,gauze,pills, everything.I grabbed a second bag for tools and common needs like fresh water, food, clothes and a light source. I stayed there for a couple night to regain my strength, and will to live, thinking about Jenny and Shi.

Without the gas station visit I would not have made it. I should have just died. I have rationed my food and I will have enough for three more months then it's back to worms and bugs. Every single day has been the same thing. No deviation at all. I wake up, eat, then start to walk. I stop eat and walk some more. Eat , then walk and sleep. Then the routine starts all over the next day.

Recently I have heard the water getting louder in the tunnel. Almost like the water is going off an edge. Well, I am pretty shure that is what it is. I whip out my real flashlight now and examine the area. Im near the dump site for all the sewage. The closer I get the more scared I am, that something bad is going to happen. The once echoed sound now is a clear as day. It was the end of the tunnel. I used the light to look over the edge but all I saw was a sink hole twice as big as the one I was first trapped in. Across the way in the distant was a broken bridge. A bridge snapped completely in half. A couple cars had fallen off the edge. A twenty sixteen Jeep cherokee and a white Ford Escape that looks exactly like mine back at the house.

I climb off the ledge and down the side in the crater. This place is huge! I yell ¨hello¨ and am greeted back with many more hellos back. This is insane. I have been on my feet for two days now since the gas station and still haven't gotten asleep So I'm going to go sit under the bridge and rest. It is so big acrost it took me ten min just to reach it. At the bottom I am probably eight hundred feet from the top and I can't even see that far it is so dark. Staying under the bridge felt safe for now till another earthquake comes. The fallen debris from the bridge makes a perfect spot to rest and plan. I sit my bag down on a platform and slump against a piece of rock slab.

¨Man, my everything is hurting,¨

I spread my legs out across the ground, pop my back, and rest my hands to my side. All I can think to myself is why is why am I so cold. I look at my hands then stick them under my armpits to warm them up. There is a new smell, beside the one of body odor and crap. This is the smell of death.

I stand up and look around. There was nothing, no animals no people. I sat back down on my rock, using my hands to lessen my fall. My left hand had landed on something cold. I look at it and I recognized something. It was a hand, a petite hand. A cold petite hand with a wedding ring on the ring had my grandma's family crest and her blue diamond that sparkled like her eyes. I started to tear up. It was my grandmother's ring. The one I gave to Jenny on our wedding day. It was her. I just sobbed and sobbed for hours and hours. I couldn't stop it. I wanted to see her. The rock covering her was the heaviest things I have ever lifted. Probably three times as much as me.

But I didn't care. It was her alright. She laid there on her knees, back hunched over, and head down. My heart broke. I didn't want it to be true but it was. I turned her body over ,lying like a starfish on the glass of a fish tank. She was protecting her. Shi, was laying there like a newborn covered my Jenny. My only daughter and my wife gone like the rest of my family just gone from existence. I just lay there in between them. I grab their cold hands in mine. It is over, I'm done trying. I put Jenny's hand on top of my left hand letting my hand rest on the ground and hers on mine and the same for Shi with my right. There was another earthquake but this time we are so underground we only get the aftershocks. Crack came from the bridge but it didn't phase me. A few fist size rocks fell from the bridge, falling and hitting my hand that once held Jenny, she's gone and so is Shi.