Stuck

A freestyle poem with feelings of heartbreak, longing and unrequired love.

My Dearest,

It feels like a dagger through my heart

A pain that never seems to go away

I try to move on, to forget, to heal

But my heart remains stuck in the past

Clutching onto memories of you

I remember the way you smiled

The way your eyes sparkled

The way you made me feel alive

And now all I feel is emptiness

A void that can never be filled

I try to distract myself

I keep busy with work, with friends

But no matter what I do

You're always there, in the back of my mind

Haunting me with what could have been

I see other couples holding hands

Sharing laughs and kisses

And I envy them, I envy their love

Because I know I will never have that again

Not with anyone else but you

I try to date, to put myself out there

But every time I meet someone new

I compare them to you

And they always fall short

Because no one can ever measure up to you

I still dream about you

In my sleep, in my waking hours

I see your face, hear your voice

And for a moment, I feel whole again

But then reality crashes down on me

I know you're not coming back

I know I have to let go

But how can I let go of the love of my life?

How can I move on from the one and only person

Who has captured my heart so completely?

I cling to the hope that one day

You'll realize you made a mistake

That you'll come back to me, to us

But deep down, I know it's just wishful thinking

And that breaks my heart all over again

So I'll continue to love you

From a distance, in silence

I'll hold onto what we had

And cherish it for all eternity

Because the love of my life will always be you.

Author's Note

This was my first ever poem written, feel free to judge and lemme know. I need to improve.

Reviews

[JayG]

• lemme know. I need to improve.

It's not a matter of improving, talent, or how well you write. It's that readers don't care how the poet feels. Like you, they read poetry as an entertainment. And what's entertaining about someone we know nothing about emoting over the result of undefined events? Remember, unlike you, the reader can't know the emotion that you voice as you read. So, words that live for you are th the nearly dispassionate words of a text to speech translator for the reader. Have the computer read the work to you. It's an excellent editing tool, and picks up a lot we would otherwise miss.

Readers want to be made to feel, not learn the mood of the poet on the day it was written. So, instead of writing what's commonly called a Dismal Damsel poem, in which you're talking about your life, write a poem about lost love that resonates with the reader. Make them care and feel, not nod, and say, "uh-huh."

Work to evoke emotion in-the-reader. For example, instead of saying something like, "I cried at my mother's funeral," give the READER reason to weep. As silly as that may sound, they'll thank you for it.

As a poet, you can have a super-power to make the reader laugh, cry, and feel all the human emotions, in response to the words YOU choose, if...you take the time to learn how.

The approach to writing that we're taught in school can only produce an author-centric narrative because it's fact-based and author-centric. It's the perfect approach for writing the reports and letters that employers need from us, but is useless for fiction or poetry, which is emotion-based and character-centric.

Nonfiction explains. Poetry and fiction involve the reader. So, to write either, acquiring the skills that are specific to that field — those you'd learn were you to take a degree course in either — is a necessity.

For all we know you're the next great poet, or author. But until you own the skills and specialized knowledge of the profession, any talent you may possess is only potential, smothered under the load of those inappropriate-to-poetry skills.

And if you are meant to write, you'll find the learning fascinating, as your options multiply and the elements of poetry clarify in your mind. As Wilson Mizner puts it, “If you steal from one author it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many it’s research.” So...research! 😆

A really great resource, one I think you'll find a fun read, is Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook. The lady is a brilliant poet, and an exceptional teacher, as well. Grab read, or a copy, from the site linked to just below.
https://www.docdroid.net/7iE8fIJ/a-poetry-handbook-pdfdrivecom-pdf

I think you'll find it filled with little gems of knowledge, like why we sometimes use the word rock, and at others, stone, to point to the same thing.

So give it a try, And wherever you do, hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
Articles: https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@jaygreenstein3334

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“Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.”
~ E. L. Doctorow