Double Time

For my Father on his 60th Birthday

You're a man twice my age

and to you I dedicate this page

 

Dedicate this night which seemed to go so easy, so right.

Two friends; sitting, talking, laughing, eating, drinking

 

I was suspicious because it was so easy

Too Easy.

I'm no longer suspicious though, I'm just here.

 

And there you are. Sitting, watching

Looking across time at this Mirror

 

they make restaurant booths for just that purpose.

 

You tell me to "go ahead and do what I need to" and I will.

30 year old tracks in the snow covered by 30 winters of snowfall

 

Sometimes the Earth cries up and tells me I've placed my foot squarely on your mark

You've been here, and that's why we laugh.

We're not fooling each other

 

I'm just looking across time

Shaking hands with myself

 

I mean it when I say "I'm proud of you, Dad."

Reviews

[MomzillaNC]

Lovely tribute to father…

The following are only suggestions:
I think your meter would flow better if you changed to something like this line:
You tell me and I will
"Go ahead and do what you need to."
Thirty years of old tracks in the snow
Covered by thirty winters of snowfall

And, a break in the following lines:
Sometimes the Earth cries up and tell me
I've placed my foot squarely on your mark.
You've been here
And that's why we laugh

And, for more impact:
I mean it when I say,
"I'm proud of you, Dad."

[coin]

Thanks! I'm pretty new to this so any suggestions are appreciated and considered

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome. I'm glad to help. But, remember, you're the voice of the poet. All critiques are only suggestions and recommendations. You don't have to follow them if you don't feel they fit your voice. I receive critiques and suggestions: sometimes I implement them; sometimes I do not accept them. I think you'll find that most folks here attempted to give considered and considerate reviews. Some will "blow smoke up your skirt," but most will be honest and helpful.