THROUGH IGNORANCE AND GRIM

motherofnature
"Today's the day" i say in my head as i dreadfully wake and roll out of my bed..
Words I've never spoken every single day .. But today's different I'm feeling different...
and mean it this time! my body's tired from this sciatica in my back.
how blissfully he just sits while I pick up the slack.

never cutting any slack just tightening the rope as he plays togowar with my nerves.
"todays the day I'll skip cooking and cleaning and caring for kids." picturing myself
sitting in a window watching him get what he deserves.
deserving of a wife faithfully serving .. servings of spiteful 3 course meals.. serving rightful one sided deals.. dealings of indiscriminate unsanctified situations.
illegitimate biological creations.

and these kids !! ... when does it end?
obligations of right devotion to tend.
tending to get caught up in the moment... wait a moment just wait on it ....
......... "honey where's my wallet"?
quenching my teeth and curling my toes ..
as i softly reply "it's on the counter where it"... biting my tongue finishing my sentence........ "goes"

I knew that was coming .. to him I'm attuned.
as he says he'll be back later this afternoon.
"I guess today's not the day.."
as i put my anguish away .. like an umbrella in the summer waiting for a rainy day.
kids glued to the tv nostalgic morning cartoons..
stepping outside it's my time for blowing balloons ..
just for a moment then I'll get to my mess thinking to myself
"this will help with the stress" ....

as I think to myself
"it's all so freakin worth it" freaking the word because im a mom i dont curse it.
"I love this s**t! #momlife all day!"
for all of the time in the world i wouldn't trade it away.. away with all of this madness obligations of sadness. I needed that before I get back to the madness.
neverthelessI got caught up in the moment.
turning the knob to return thinking
"your a super mama just own it!"
moments of brevity mind is clear.. silent except for some birds that i hear.
and like a disheartening flash he somehow appeared > Just when i thought my emocity had left me
like a empty mindless child he asks me.
"have you seen my phone"

Rolling my eyes as i groan.. a muffled insult goes over his head.
"bonafide dethroned retarded purebred"
he looks confused asking me "what'sthat you said"

painfully i smile replying "it died the battery was on red"

"it's on the charger"


lucky i had that joint .
not today ... not today.

Author's Note

"i didn't make these kids alone"

Reviews

[Paul Bell]

There is a world we all belong in. When it's frantic, we want hush. When it's quiet, we panic. But we can still play the naughty games. Failing that. The joint hits that nerve right in the middle.

[APOORVA]

"I love this s**t! #momlife all day!"
for all of the time in the world i wouldn't trade it away.. away with all of this madness obligations of sadness. I needed that before I get back to the madness.
neverthelessI got caught up in the moment.
turning the knob to return thinking
"your a super mama just own it!"
moments of brevity mind is clear..



beautifully expressed portion.
you seem to be experienced in this field as you are so perfect in this.
applauds!!