"Hello"
"Oh, hey there! I didn't hear you coming."
"That is how I work."
"I don't remember summoning you," I said as I stared up at the tall figure in front of me
"You don't have to speak with words. A mere thought, and I am by your side," he said, sweeping into a low bow as he removed his silly, french hat, with a light blue feather stuck into the side of it.
"I don't remember thinking of you either," I said as I crossed my arms in front of my chest. He had a way of doing that; coming when not needed. He always thought he was needed though. It was sort of cute.
"Oh come now, dearest, you know I am always on your mind. At least I would like to think that," he said as he carefully settled down beside me on the cool green grass, sweeping his 17th century cape to the side so as not to get it dirty. I swear, if I didn't know him personally, I would have said he was gay.
"You'd like to think a lot of things, but thinking gets you nowhere, Steve."
"On the contrary. It got me here, next to you, now didn't it? And please, it's Stevenoph when we are together. I hate it when you demode me with that commoner name."
"Well, it's much easier to say Steve than to spout that excuse of a name you have," I said with a half-smile creeping into my lips. Steve dramatically slapped a hand to his chest
"That hit right here. Oh, the pain, the pain! What am I to do? It hurts terribly!. But it is worth it, just to see your face. Now, down to business. Why did you beckon me here, fair one?"
"I already told you, I didn't beckon you here."
"Well, I am here for a reason, so why don't you start by telling me why you are here in the first place. You only come here when something is on your mind, or you don't feel like dealing with the current situation you are in," he said as he gazed intently at me with his efeminate golden eyes. I could stare into his eyes forever, and always find new patterns of golden paths in his irises. I met his own pretty eyes with my plain ones, as I tried to figure out exactly why I was here. I hated when he could pin me, because it ment he knew me better than I knew myself, which he should, but it still bothered me. That loser.
"Hm. That is a good question. One I wish I knew the answer to, because as soon as I can figure it out, I can get out of here," I said. He frowned his pouty lips at me, which made him look even more irresistable.
"You don't like it here? We made this place together. It's special to you and me, or at least I thought it was," he said in a teary voice. Damn him. He always knew how to push my emotional buttons, and he always knew what could make me feel guilty. I hated that too. I reached out and put a hand against his unbelievably smooth cheek, the skin of it a soft glowing bronze.
"Oh, Steve, you know I care. It's just that whenever I'm here, it makes me remember why I am upset in the first place. I can never come here out of leisure, or....just to see you," I said. He smiled softly at my words, like the admittance that I wanted to see him were the exact words he wanted to hear. He rubbed his cheek against my hand as he spoke.
"You can come here out of leisure; you just need to focus hard enough. But, you are not yet ready to deal with such strain, my dear."
"I know, but I think I am ready," I said. He shook his head, sending shivers down my arm as his skin grazed over mine. I put on the best pout face I had to offer, but he merely chuckled, as if I had told him a joke.
"Pouting doesn't work on me, you know that," he said. I sighed in frustration.
"You're not helping me get over my problems."
"So now you are admitting you have a problem? What made you change your tune?"
"The fact that I'm stuck here until I resolve them. That's what," I said bittely. He reached his hand out and stroked my hair.
"Let's start at the beginning, shall we?" he said. I looked at him, sighed, then nodded.
"Alright. The last thing I was thinking before I got here was that I hated the color that i had painted my nails....," I started, hoping that was problematic enough. He looked at me with that look that said he knew more than he was giving. I held my breath.
"Don't be ridiculous, love. That color is fabulous on you," he said. I breathed a sigh of relief. "Now tell me what is bothering you. You know you want to," he said in a goading voice. I groaned
"Fine. You suck. Well, before my nail dilemma, I was thinking that I hated how people can be so...retarded," I stated lamely.
"How so?" he asked in a curious voice.
"Well, there's these people I hang out with and-" he held up his hand to cut off my speech.
"Are we going to be talking about Fair One?" I avoided his eyes.
"Maybe," I said. He growled at that.
"I'm sorry Steve, but I can't help who I have affections for," I said, defending my position. He merely scowled.
"Continue," he said in a toneless voice. I could tell he was holding his opinions and emotions back. He could be such a handful sometimes. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I stood up, thinking of a way to voice my problem. I began to pace around a tree, trailing my hand against the surprisingly creamy bark. It felt like lotion, only dry. It had a pale creamy blue color to it, and I smiled as I looked at, happily letting it distract me from the current situation. Steve stood up as well, and he grabbed my hand that was trailing the tree. I frowned as I was forced to turn and look at him. He was an intimidating figure, with his six foot and seven inch frame, and his intense face. It kind of looked you in the face and said, "what now, b***h?" The only thing that made him softer and kinder were his eyes, and his violet purple hair, that looked and felt like a soft poofy cloud. It waved brightly in the wind behind him as he pulled me close.
"I know it's tough, love, but you have to do it. I would prefer it if you didn't bear what was on your mind, because then you could stay here forever with me," he said in a happy voice as he cuddled me into his firm chest. I blushed, even though I was used to his habit of physical contact by now. He was a built man, with firm muscle just below the sleek surface of his skin, but he wasn't overly muscled. Being pulled against his body was a comforting feeling, and it always made me feel better. I snuggled against him, opening his cloak up so i could get closer to the warmth of his body. I was even almost ready to willingly spill my problems out. Almost. I looked up into his strong, young face, and thought about his last comment. Sure, I would love to stay here with him forever, but I knew where my duties lie, and I couldn't just leave those who depended on me behind. It would be selfish of me. Saying no to Steve was impossible though, especially when he bat those thick black eyelashes at you, and held you so close, that it felt like with just a a litttle pressure, you could become one.
"You know I can't be with you here forever, Steve. What would happen to the rest of my life? It would be gone."
"Yes, but you would be with me. Wouldn't that be good enough?" I remained silent after he asked that. Yes, it could be good enough, but no, it wouldn't. How do you tell someone that? Especially when it was Steve we were talking about. 'Yes, I want to be with you forever, but I will be wasting my life if I stay with you.' It would tear his fragile soul apart, and I couldn't afford for him to be clogged by his own emotions. I needed him, whether I liked it or not.
"Yes, Steve," I finally said, because the silence was getting unbearable. "This would be good enough." He relaxed against my body, and wrapped his arms tighter about me.
"But you must resolve what ails you," he said in a quiet voice. It was my turn to growl now. Even though i needed to do this, this whole bearing-your-feelings-and-problems thing, I still didn't like it.
"I know. I don't know if you want me to continue though," I said
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"Well, try anyway. You know that I can be an understanding person." Sometimes. I snorted at that.
"You? An understanding person? When kiwis fly," I said. He looked down at me and frowned, not a joking muscle in his face.
"You know very well that I am understanding. I can't help that my own emotions can get in the way of me doing my duty of helping you." He had a point there. I hung my head a little in shame, and remained silent again.
"I'm sorry. I was trying to alleviate the stress of the situation a little," I said. His features softened, and a little bit of his traditional humor came back into his face. He could switch from one emotion to another so fast, that it gave me whiplash. I rubbed the back of my neck.
"Enough beating around the bush now, though. You will tell me what is wrong," he said, nonsense gone from his face, but his eyes held the humorous light they always had. That's what let me know he was not truly angry or serious. It was a relief to have someone so easy to read. Then I realized that all of this thinking was just stalling. I cursed myself mentally, then sighed. Steve was not going to like what I had to say, but he was asking for it. Besides, it had to come out sooner or later. Steve wouldn't let me go until I voiced what was wrong. I took a deep breath, then closed my eyes as I began to speak.
"Fair One....hurt me again," I said hesitantly. He stiffened at that, and it was like every muscle in his body was on high alert.
"How bad?" Steve said through clenched teeth. I cringed. It was hard to hear such a beautiful and carefree man have such malice in his voice.
"Not terribly. It was all emotional. He never once touched me....ever," I said with sadness in my voice.
"Oh, dearest, I am sorry, but when are you going to learn not to chase after him anymore? He obviously sees nothing in you, and he's going after that other girl. You know this," he said. Even though I knew he was trying to help, it still hurt to hear the truth.
"I know, but I can't help it. I really like him. He can be so sweet sometimes, and he's kind"
"If he really was kind, would he hurt you like this?"
"He doesn't know he's doing it," I said in defense
"And that makes it less terrible? There is no excuse for abuse."
"He never touched me!" I said in a shrill voice.
"He doesn't need to touch you to hurt you. You should have learned this by now. Verbal abuse can sometimes hurt more than physical abuse, and sometimes body language strikes the heart worse than any sword. He has been giving you the signals of rejection, and it is stabbing into your heart, twisting as it goes in. You don't know how to deal with such things. That's why we are here!" he said as he threw his arms out wide, indicating this place as "here". I frowned up at him, and he stared down at me, lowering his arms slowly. "It's hurts you so much, that you barely even notice it. He will talk to others, be happy with others, but you; you are left alone in the dark. Like a lonely mushroom, being laughed at by the vain daffodils. You don't like being left out, but he thinks it's best for you."
"So? He's just being caring," I said, with a snarky tone in my voice. Steve lifted his head slightly, so he was looking down at me."Oh really? Causing you to have heart conditions is caring?" I rubbed a hand over my chest, just where my heart was located, baffled that he knew about that.
"How did you know?" I asked. Steve gave me a look that said "did you seriously just ask that?" I looked down at the grass again as I continued to rub my chest, feeling my heart palpitate beneath my palm. This was because of him. I didn't want to admit it, but all the stress of worrying if he hated me had brought on heart pain more frequently than normal. Steve reached out and grabbed my shoulder softly, bringing my face to up to look at him.
"You have a medical condition. Why won't you confront him?"
"Because I don't want to make him mad. He's always so happy, and if I were to say such a thing to him, it would bring him down," I said. Steve let go of me, and walked away from where we had been standing. I stared at his back, in shock. The wind billowed his cloak out, and he reached up and undid the clasp of it, letting it drift off down the field. He stood there in his white billowy shirt, and his dark brown slacks, with black boots up to his knees. He actually looked like he had stepped right out of the 17th century. I loved it though. It was such a romantic age, and to look at him, was to look at the epitome of romance. But i was getting side-tracked now. I looked past that sexy exterior, and I could feel the frustration rolling off of him like dark waves. I cowered, my hands brought up to my chest, almost as if to try and protect myself from his emotion. I was afraid it would smother me, consume me, and I would be trapped forever in negativity. He turned his head slightly, so i could barely see one of his eyes.
"You can't always stand in the dark like this. You have to take some initiative, and stand for yourself," Steve said in a low voice, his back still turned to me. I hung my head, because I knew he was right.
"But you don't get it! I can't just-"
"I never can get it, can I?" he said, finally turning toward me. His face was in an arrogant mask, the one he always used when we had to go face the head council when my problems got terribly out of hand. I gasped slightly when I saw him use this face with me.
"I...I'm sorry, Steve, but I just....." I didn't know what to say. I stared up at him with a confused and hurt face, and that seemed to soften his features slightly.
"I really hate it when you underestimate my thinking and feeling processes. It's like you do not take me seriously," Steve said. I looked at the grass, guilt crossed over my face. I had always taken him for granted, because he had to help me. I never thought specifically about what he felt, or what he thought. It wasn't his choice to be here. He was forced.
"I really am sorry Steve," I said, walking toward him slowly.
"I know you care for this guy, but it hurts me to see you throw your life away wishing you could have him. You can't!" he said, slicing the air horizontally with one of his hands for emphasis.
"I know. I need you to help me with this though. It's really hard to be told no," I said in a voice that was cracking. I reached out for his arm in comfort, needing his caring touch. He let me grab it, which was a good sign. If he were truly mad, he would have turned around and walked away from me. I sighed in relief, then pulled myself to him, dragging him down in the grass with me. I crawled in his lap when he was situated, and cuddled into him again.
"What should I do?" I asked.
"Do you really want my opinion?"
"More than anything," I whispered to him.
"Tell him how you feel," he said simply. I sighed in frustration.
"You and I both know that wouldn't work" I said. He chuckled slightly; a dry, sad sound it was.
"Well, you could always get over him," he offered. I snorted in protest to that option.
"What do you want me to say? Hope for the best, may all your deams come true? I am not a fairy godmother, love. I can't magickally make him love you. You have to take things into your own hands. Fate doesn't work by itself. It's needs encouragement from you, and luck from your objective. You know this already," he said
"I wasn't expecting you to magickally make things happen," I said, a bit of a whine creeping into my voice.
"Somehow, I get the feeling that you were, subconsciously," he said. I snarled as he said that. What made him think he knew what was going on my head?
"Well, I wasn't, so there's no use arguing over it," I said stiffely. He merely shrugged.
"Fine by me. So, why don't you want to tell him how you feel?"
"Because I would feel like a fool if he rejected me. Plus, he's so complicated. Then there is the fact that...I can't have him," I said as I closed my eyes, hurting terribly. He looked at me curiosly, shifting his body beneath me so he could lean against a rock that was behind him.
"Why can't you have him?"
"Because of his beliefs," I stated.
"Ah. He is a pious person?"
"To an extent. His beliefs kinda frowns upon dating," I said.
"That sounds like an irrational belief. Dating is a way to meet your future mate, therefore putting more humans in the world. His beliefs don't want him to help the circle of life? That just renders him useless," Steve said. I looked at him with my head cocked to the side, processing his words. That was true. I had never looked at it that way, because I had always accepted anything that had to do with Fair One, and I never questioned him.
"Well, that's true, but I think he's allowed to date when he is older," I said, sort of making something up to give Fair One a fighting stand, since he wasn't here and all.
"You didn't say that before. You're grasping at straws, trying to keep him in that holy light you hoisted him into. You glorified him by putting him on this shining pedestal, but slowly the pedestal is starting to drop. You are seeing the flaws in him that you hadn't seen before, and that scares you. You don't want to see the true him. You want to keep that prefect image of him forever, but you know very well that you can't. Why do you try?" he asked.
"Because....because he's the one person I truly feel like i can relate to. He has pain, lots of it, and I want to make it go away. I want to be that one person that he turns to when he has troubles. I want to be there for him. I want to be his one and only," I said, my voice getting slightly louder. Steve narrowed his eyes at me.
"So you want to be at his beck and call? You want to be his little lap dog? You want to be held back by him, until he is the only person you have left? Because that is what will happen if you pursue after these goals. You are saying that you basically want to give yourself away to this person; you want to willingly give away your freedom. Why? There are so many other people out there, many others that could treat you ten times better. You've barely fished around, and yet you settle on this sorry excuse of a human," he said. Ouch. His words hit me like a two ton hammer. I never thought he could be so truthful. I mean, I knew he could be, but I had never seen him actually utilize that skill. I gaped up at him, my jaw slack and my eyes wide. After I recovered, I shook my head and protested.
"I have fished around! Don't you remember getting mad about those other guys?" I said. He threw back his head and laughed. It was a sound that was harsh and mean. I stared into his eyes, wich were getting colder and duller. His ultimate healing spirit was taking over him, which ment that the loving Steve was gone, and the rational Steve was here, who would say anything it took to get me to see reason. I gulped. i always hated this part of the healing process.
"You mean those three fools? I highly doubt three people count as "fishing around". You are just making excuses now, dearest. You are afraid to see reason. You know that the only thing you can do is to just move on from this man, if you can even call him that," he said. I frowned and hissed, grasping around for something to come back as. I couldn't. Steve saw this, and took this oppertunity to strike the final blow.
"The only reason you go after him is because he is forbidden fruit. You know very well that you can't have him, yet you try. That simple fact that he is unreachable makes him even more enticing. I'm right, aren't I," he said with a victory smirk on his face. I looked up at him, hurt clearly smeared on my face, along with my make-up. I didn't know it, but the whole time Steve had been preaching to me, tears had been streaming down my face. I gasped, because he and I both knew that when that happened, I had seen reason. I covered my face, and wept, because I had lost.
I lost. It hit me right in the chest, and it was almost as if a physical weight had hit me in the heart. I was knocked forward into Steve's chest, and he held me as I cried out the pain. Tears of angony washed down my face as I thought about what I had just lost. The love that I had for Fair One, the affections and longing, had been obliterated by Steve's words, as it was ment to be. But no matter how much destiny was thrown in my face, it never made the pain any less. Steve craddled his arms around me as I drained the pain out through my tears.
"It hurts so much, Steve!" I cried out. He patted my back.
"I know. You loved him, but he never loved you back. All he could think about was her, and his own problems with her. He never gave a second thought to you, and it hurts for you to accept that."
"IT HURTS!" I screamed, crying uncontrollably, gasping for breath.
"I'm sorry, love," he said softly in my ear. I would have responded, but the tears clogged my throat, so i settled with a nod. He rubbed my cheek softly with his hand, and rubbed my back with the other one. I rocked back and forth as I let the pain escape my body. I wasn't leaving here until I felt better. Steve owed my that at least.
Hours past until I had finally calmed down. Steve, his back aching from leaning against the rock, had taken to sprawling out over the grass. I layed on top of him, rubbing my head into his chest. He lifted his head slightly to look at me.
"Are you ok, dearest?" he said tentively. I didn't respond. I wan't ready to talk, at least not to him. I couldn't trust myself to let our a civil word. I had tried talking to him after an intense healing session like this one before, and it had resulted in many more tears and pain, from the both of us. I could feel him getting nervous underneath me. He was afraid that he had made me angry at him for good this time. I sighed as his emotional stress started to grow and affect me. I lifted my head enough for Steve to see my poofy, red, bloodshot eyes, and nodded.
"I'll be ok," I said in a crackly voice. "It's your resposibility to make sure I don't make mistakes, or that I recover from them if I do make mistakes."
"I know that, but I fear that I may have layed it on a little too harshly. I was starting to enjoy the pain, and then I knew that my job had been done. I wish i didn't have to go in complete emotionless healing mode when I help you. Only when it was gone did I realize the pain, and the tears," said Steve as he reached down and wiped my face, where remaining tears stained my face. I rubbed my face against his hand, so thankful that he ws here for me.
I sat up and straddled him as I looked up at the sky, in all its lilac purple glory. Candy colored clouds of dark purple, orange, and pink flew overhead as a delightful breeze tusled my hair. I turned and looked at the sperading forest of trees that had the same light blue hue, and the multi-colored leaves that crowned the many branches. I loved how my trees grew in a curly pattern. They made me feel serene. It helped to look at them if I was still in emotional conflict. Many blue, blood red, butter yellow, and emerald green leaves were blown about me as the wind picked up. A sense of panic filled me, and I looked up at the sky again, and my heart sunk as I seen the color. It was smudged, as if the color had been painted up in the sky with pastels, and then a small child came about and smeared it until it was cloudy. This only ment one thing: it was time for me to go. As the colors of this world started to fade and meld like a sidewalk chalk drawing in a rainstorm, my awareness became sharper. The feeling of sleepiness and dreaminess started to wear away. I stood up and stared at my beautiful, ruined sky. Steve saw the sky too, and his face fell. He knew I had to go now. He stood up and grabbed my hand.
"I would like to say that it's been fun, but that would be a lie," he said. I nodded.
"I know what you mean. I'm sorry it always has to be this way. I wish I could just see you normally," I said as he hugged me closer into his chest. He stroked my hair softly and kissed the top of my head.
"Me too, dearest, me too," he said. There was a long pause as I leaned against Steve, listening to the world self-destruct.
"Thank you Steve," I finally said, breaking the silence.
"For what?"
"For helping me get over my stupid infatuation," I said. Steve looked down at me with a bit of guilt, but I put my hand over his eyes to prevent him from looking at me like that. "You did nothing wrong, Steve. It's just your duty. It was how I made you."
"I know. What is a pineapple vampire to do without his queen there to help?" I laughed soflty against him, the shaking of my body making him move slightly. He joined with his own light chuckle, and then we were silent again. I could feel a tug against my heart, and I knew that in only moments, I would be gone from this world. I looked up at Steve, my eyes shining in the purple light. He looked back down at me, with love and admiration writted all over his features. They were becoming duller now, because along with this world, he was fading, and fast. I reached up and stroked his unbelievably soft hair one last time, and as I did so, he caught my hand and pulled me close. His nose was touching mine, and I had barely a moment to think before his lips touched mine softly, like a feather that had fallen from the sky and landed gracefully there. My breath caught in my throat, and I could barely respond as he stepped back, holding his hands out.
"I love you, My Fair One," he said soflt as his face became indefinite.
"I love you too...........Stevenoph," I said. I wasn't sure, but it looked like a smiled played across Steve's lips before he disappeared in a flurry of sweet, soft cherry blossom petals. I watched as the wind blew the petals around me, carressing my skin and whispering sweet words that i couldn't understand. The petals flew off into the sky as it melted and slid down, becoming black and unfamiliar. I waved good bye to anyone who might have seen, and closed my eyes, with a single tear running down my cheek.
I woke up, and stared at the boring ceiling that was above me. I sighed heavily, then thought of Steve. I would make an effort to keep his world brighter, because when i was sad, the trees wept and shed their color, and when I cried, Steve cried and became full of pain and misery. I wouldn't but my best friend, my imaginary friend, through that. I loved him. Plain and simple.
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