02; Leaving

Her eyes were filled tears as she wrapped her arms around my neck and drew me towards her. Her tears seeped into the shirt and her body shook against mine. “Be careful,” Caroline whispered, into my chest. I loved Caroline. She was the best little sister I could ever have. She was there for me when I needed her, she protected me  when I should have been the one protecting her. I wished I could have been a better big brother, because she deserved better.

She finally pulled away, and swiped her sleeve over her nose. She sniffled and looked at me through puffy red eyes, tears staining her cheeks.  I reached out and touched her cheek, “Don't worry so much about me. You need to stop worrying about me and worry about yourself.”

“How can I not worry about you? You're the only one I have.”

I shook my head, “That's not true...”

Her lower lip trembled and she crumbled against me once more, “Yes you are! You're the only one I love!”

I looked up, blinking away the hot tears that stung my eyes. I refused to cry, I wasn't going to cry in front of my little sister. But her sobs were heart wrenching, and I couldn't stand it. But I needed to show her I could be strong. I pulled away from her and cupped her face with both my hands, “Caroline, listen to me.”

She looked up at me with blue eyes rimmed with tears and she was breathing hard, trying to keep the sobs in. Caroline hated crying in front of people. I think this was the first time I'd ever seen her cry. She'd never cried when she'd broken her left hand, she didn't cry when Binkie, our cat, died. She didn't even shed a tear when Grandpa died. She was a tough cookie, but at one point or another, everything she'd been hiding, everything she'd been holding back, was going to come out.

“Don't worry about me anymore. I'm fine. I'm going to be gone for a long time, I don't think I'm coming back-”

A pained sob escaped from her choke, and I closed my eyes. It hurt me to see her like this, to see all the pain she was in. But it had to be said.

“But don't think about that. Don't think about me. You need to think about what's important to you. You need to worry more about yourself, and less about me.” I blinked a couple of times as I spoke, “And always remember, when I'm gone, when I'm gone... I want you to be happy.”

“D-don't leave. S-stay here with me.” She whimpered into my chest.

As I looked down at her, I didn't realize how small she really was. Caroline was twelve years old, but years had aged her, not physically, but mentally. All those years she could have been living her life as a kid made me feel horrible, I had robbed her of her childhood. That was just another reason why I needed to leave.

“Can't-Can't you s-stay one more night?” Her voice cracked as she spoke, “A-and we can watch old movies.”

“Of course. I'll stay tonight.” I promised.



“Well, I guess this is goodbye then.” My mother told me as she handed me my suitcase.

I nodded, “I guess so.”

Caroline had fallen a sleep a while ago as we were watching old home videos. We hadn't watched them together in years. My mother held her arms out and drew into a hug. I felt nothing. I knew she didn't meant it, I could tell her love wasn't genuine. It had bothered me before, a long time ago. But I guess I just finally opened my eyes and realized, it was never going to happen. I hugged her back stiffly, withdrew a second later, and turned to look at my father. He looked at me and nodded, “Goodbye, Ethan.”

I nodded back, knowing full well he didn't give a s**t, either. I dragged my suitcase through the door, the cool wind kissing my skin. I lifted the suitcase into the trunk of my crappy, second hand car, the baby blue paint was chipped at the edges, and there were a number of little nicks and dents on the old Honda model. My parents were too cheap to buy me a decent car, and I didn't have enough money to buy a better car. But I loved this car, as crappy as it was.

I slipped inside the car, and shoved the key into the ignition, twisting it until the car rumbled to life. As I backed out of the driveway, I spared a glance behind me, at the house I had lived in for so long. At the house I'd been cooped up in so long. In fact, I wasn't exactly sure I was in the condition to drive. I pushed the thought away, of course I was. I was more ready than I had ever been before.

I wasn't sure where I was going, actually. All I knew was that I was leaving, I was getting out of town. I was going to drive as far as I could, drive as far as the Honda would take me. It wasn't a smart choice, I knew that, but it was something new, something spontaneous. And sometimes, you need a little bit of spontaneity in your life, which was exactly what I needed.

Author's Note

This was taken from my Mibba account, so this isn't plagarized :) Anyway, reviews are welcomed!

Reviews

[Isadora Pierce]

This is so heartbreakingly sad.