Knowing the Man

Some passing thoughts on my step father, the man who would never want much fuss over him.

 

Knowing the Man

 

When the word came, I was doing what I normally do when I have some time to myself; re-reading some stories, fixing lunch, watching television with my girls, the normal day to day routine when you are self-employed and all your clients cancel their appointments. 

 

We knew he lived on borrowed time, borrowing against his end and eventually, the time would come that his often-damaged heart would no longer force blood into that hard head of his. That didn’t make the news any more or less of a shock. The news made it final. 

 

Yet he still managed to pass without much ado, but also on his terms. Walking to the waiting stretcher just as he walked into the cardiac intensive care unit almost twenty three years ago, forcing, in fact, willing his feet to move in spite of their refusal.

 

So many things about him might be a mystery unless one took the time to watch him and learn how he really thought. This man who complained about the noise, mess and care puppies and kittens required bottle fed two kittens while driving a moving van from Alabama to Texas, gave a home to more than one dog someone cast aside, cared for an old tomcat with only one eye and shed tears when news of animal abuse made the news.

 

This man who claimed not to care much about being around people took a job where greeting people was his job, and did so in a way most would never imagine. From a recluse to the Greeter at Wal-Mart, everyone came to know him.

 

This man who claimed children were a bother and nuisance during the recent Christmas season greeted every child who entered Wal-Mart with a “Ho-Ho! Hi there! Come on in!”; and handed each smiling face a small piece of candy as a reward for being child. This left many to wonder about the man with the white hair, white beard, round red face and slightly plump belly. This same man who bore the image of Santa Claus would never play the part when asked, but had a very impressive collection of Santa Claus figures, some even resembling him.

 

Always saying they begged him or badgered him into doing it, he was one of the first to sign up to sing in the Texas Commerce Bank Choir; where some the news photos show he was front and center; often shamed others to join with him until they had a choir of over a hundred voices and all on their own time. 

 

This man who swore a car was only a way to get from one place to another, loved his old truck, and insisted that he drive you places in it, rather than you take your own car, or truck. In keeping with the stereotype, which he denied at all costs, the ever-present straw Cowboy Hat was always at the ready, and for occasions that were more formal a nice grey hat took its place. 

 

This man who loved quiet would sit and bask in the noise of his grandchildren as they visited, all talking loudly to be heard, all talking out of turn, all making him smile outwardly and inwardly. The glow of delight in his grandchildren always very evident upon his face, even to the point of an outward glow. 

 

For all the toughness presented to the outside world, as crusty as he liked to make people think he was, this man had a soft spot the size of his home state of Texas. 

 

August 19, 1943 Neil Ellis White, Jr. entered this world. He departed January 19, 2009 just hours before his first great-grandchild, Josiah DeGeorge Love entered the world. He was preceded in death by his father, Neil White and his mother, Effie White.  Survived by wife of 36 years, Jo Ann White, his four sisters, Judy, Debra, Caroline and Barbara; a son Pete Love; grandchildren David Edward Love, Daniel Jason Love, Joseph Neil Love, Laura Ann Harris and Jessica Leigh Harris, one great-grandchild Josiah DeGeorge Love. 

Reviews

[Just Plain Me]

When I read this was about your step dad, I couldn't help but think of my own step daddy. I can't bare even the thought of losing him, so you writing this beautiful story about him...well I tip my figurative hat to you. I know how hard it must have been to lose him, how hard it probably still is, and I'm sorry for that he had to leave for you to write this. It sucks when family goes away.
Thanks for entering this in my contest...I love it

[Samuel Dickens]

Not that it has anything to do with your story, but when I started reading about your stepfather, I was inclined to think he might be a bit like mine, but as it turns out, he sounds a lot like me. (heart disease, reclusive, etc)
This is a wonderful, touching account you have given of your stepfather, Mr. Neil White. Obviously, you loved the man very much--he sounds like a fellow I would've enjoyed being around also. Just five years older than me, I'd say he died way too young. Heart disease--how I hate it.
I know he would be proud of you, George, for writing such a beautiful tribute. Thank you for letting us know about a wonderful man.

[Marie Anzalone]

What a beautiful tribute- thank you for sharing.

[Carrie Montgomery]

I am sorry for your loss. I know he must have touched your heart for you have to written so lovingly of him. It seems to me that he was a fine man, a good man, a true man- the kind of man this ol' world needs more of! A nice write and a wonderful tribute for your step-father!