Therapy

Dale attends his therapy session.

 

Therapy

 

She looked over his progress notes from the past four years of therapy. Dale Weston was depressed, but controlled. He still possessed a great sense of humor and he was always on time, except on the anniversary of Shelby’s death. She knew he would run late. Dale always stopped by Shelby’s roadside marker and her gravesite on the way to this session.

            Kaylin wanted to help Dale Weston find himself again. She wanted him to stop living the day over and over, but his heart would not allow it. Today’s session would start with their breakfast, the morning chores, the afternoon ride with the herd of Mustangs and then the dreadful account of the broken fence. She lived through this scenario with Dale more times than she could remember. 

            She looked up from his file as he walked through the front door. The receptionist stopped announcing his arrival a year ago. Every week for the past four years on Thursday morning, Dale Weston appeared at 10:15 AM. She had her office manager stop charging him for these sessions and the receptionist stopped trying to change the schedule. Only Thanksgiving and Christmas interrupted this routine. On the anniversary of Shelby’s death, Dale arrived at 10:32 AM. She noted the time on her chart as he walked in and sat down in the large overstuffed chair in front of her desk.

            “Dale, how you doing today?” she started. “I noticed the limp has improved.”

            “Yeah Doc, I guess it has,” Dale answered. “Look, I got to ask, how’s everything at home?”

            “Dad’s doing well, Mom has good days and bad. We miss you Dale.”

            “I miss Shelby, so I guess we all miss someone,” he answered. “Sandy’s little girl wants me to teach her to ride.”

            “Oh, and how are Sandy and Will getting along?”

            “I don’t go meddlin’ in her affairs. She keeps the ranch straight, I make sure she gets paid and don’t let him drink it all up. Little Sara is a handful, but she stays with Sandy at the ranch during the day.”

            “Nice of you to let her bring the kid to work. How are you these days?”

            “Leg don’t hurt bad as it did. I can still ride fences and saddle break the Mustangs, so I’m doing okay.”

            “Dale,” she started, “how well do you sleep at nights? Any dreams?”

            Kaylin knew the answer to the question before she asked. She knew it would be the same answer as always. The night Dale met Shelby was a recurring dream.

            “Same dream, same outcome,” he said. “Same beautiful Shelby in that store, all full of trouble. I couldn’t let her sleep on her front stoop all night so I took her to the bunkhouse. I wake up and she’s not here.”

            “Are you back in the main house yet Dale?”

            “No, I opened the door this morning. Its all still the same as it was four years ago. Stuff has been picked up and put away by the cleaning crews, but except that, nothing has changed.”

            “How’s the little girl she delivered, Sara? I know I asked earlier, but we are in the session.”

            Sara’s doing great. She is a handful for Sandy at times, but she carries a share of the work as well. Not too bad a kid for a four year old.”

            “Why do you think you let Sandy bring her child to work on the ranch? Would you do that for any other employee?”

            “I’m not sure I follow the question Doc. You think I let her come to the ranch to take my mind off the girl we lost that day?”

            “Didn’t even know about that until later though did you? I believe maybe you let her come to work with Sandy because you see Sandy and Sara together; that makes you think Shelby and the baby are alive. Shelby died the day after she delivered Sara, so the time frame works.”

            “Displacement of affection in order to cope with my loss? Is that what you are poking around at Doc?”

            “You’ve been reading late at night again haven’t you? I’m not sure I would say this is a displaced affection for them, but a placeholder for the love you had for Shelby. I know how much you loved her Dale and I know how hard it is to go forward with your life.”

            “Sandy is about the same height, same build but Sandy is blonde. Shelby was a raven-haired beauty. Sandy’s husband is a day drunk. Little Sara would never be in good hands with him. It’s all in the best interest of the kid.”

            “Okay Dale, I see your point. Let me guess, no horses are getting saddled up today on Weston Ranch.”

            “Not today. No riders, no lessons and no sales. Strict orders and they best not break them.”

            “Okay, I understand you still want to protect everyone from danger today, but isn’t there always a little danger on a ranch like yours?”

            “Always, but why tempt fate to come back and take another life today of all days?” Dale defended.

            “We know people can die at anytime and there will be people who die today Dale.”

            “Not on my ranch and not because of any of my horses. It won’t happen today, like it did back then.”

“Okay, Dale, tell me about the accident. I know, you have told me the story, but let’s go back down the path again today, just to see if some of the blame will go away.”

            “Doc, you know that’s hard for me. I know I will dream about it again tonight. I have for the past three years.”

            “Humor me Dale. Maybe talking about it today will help.”

            “Well, I guess I won’t get out of here today till I do. You know where we always start this, so here goes.”

            “Back it up to the point of picking the horses. She picked a horse you didn’t want her to ride didn’t she?”

            “She picked that hot headed thoroughbred. Stubborn as a danged old mule, both of them. I should have made sure that horse threw a shoe that day, but she was determined to ride her, so I saddled her up for Shelby. Cinched the saddle tight and saddled up my horse.”

            “You rode the Mustang, Glenda?”

            “Yeah, that was the one people said couldn’t be saddle broke, but she took to the saddle fast. We rode out to the lower field for a lunch date. Shelby packed everything up. Said she had some news to share. She was excited, really excited. She took off ahead of me but I caught up to her quick enough.”

            “How was she riding that day?”

            “Shelby was riding that mare like they were raised together. Never saw that mare take to anybody the way she took to Shelby. We rode too fast across that lower field, but Shelby wanted to race. I thought I heard some dirt bikes just before we got to that ridge. A fence was down and the kids liked to come in and cut across the field. I patched the fence, but they broke it down again. Can’t say as I blame’em. I’ve seen the way they ride and the jumps they take. My lower field had two tall hills they loved to jump.”

            “Was the fence down that morning?”

            “Yeah, it was down. I saw it too late to do anything about it. I tried to catch Shelby before she got to the ridge. If a dirt bike came around that stand of trees and spooked that thoroughbred, well, I didn’t want to think about what could happen. She was almost to the top of the ridge when I finally caught up with her.”

            “She had control of the mare?”

            “Yeah, she did. Then that dirt bike came out of nowhere and spooked the horses. I was close enough I grabbed Shelby’s reins and tried to stop her horse from bolting. Next thing I remember, me, Shelby, the horses and two kids on a dirt bike were all tumbling down that ridge.”

            “What else do you remember Dale?”

            “Shelby never screamed. I don’t think she had the chance. When I got to her, her head was turned all the way around. Our horses broke their necks when we went over. The kids’ bike was on fire. I guess gas spilled out of the tank and ignited on the engine. One of the kids was on fire, the other kid was unconscious. She ran from the fire, and I guess she made it worse. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, then everything was quiet, very quiet. The only thing I could hear was the snapping and popping of the grass as it caught fire. The bike started a brush fire. I grabbed the unconscious kid and drug her to the top of the ridge.”

            “Dale, you never mentioned doing that before. You moved the unconscious girl?”

            “Yeah, the fire was right on top of us. Shelby’s horse was between her and the fire, so I grabbed the unconscious girl and drug her to the top of the ridge. The rocks up there were out of the fire’s path. I know she was still breathing when I out her up there.”

            “Okay, so you saved that girl’s life Dale. How did you end up breaking your leg so badly?”

            “I went back for Shelby. The fire was close to Shelby. I didn’t have much time and I didn’t want her to get burned. I ran down the slope, picked her up and carried her to the rocks. The first girl was still there, still breathing and trying to move. That’s when the other girl stood up, still burning. Maybe it was a vision, maybe it was real, I still don’t know. I laid Shelby down and went back for her. The smoke started to get thicker and the fire started whipping up its own wind. The girl that got burned was still alive, God help her, she was still alive.”

            “Go on Dale, this is all new information.”

            “Doc, that girl was burned head to toe. She did not live long after they got us all from the top of that ridge. When they picked us up, my leg was all busted up. I fell a couple times from the heat and all, but I got the girls out. I heard sirens. My head hurt like hell, my ribs grated against each other every time I took a breath and my leg started to have a mind of its own.   I could not stand the pain any longer and I sat down. Blood soaked through my jeans and I tried to find a pulse on Shelby. I swear, her head looked like it was on backwards. She was pale, no movement and no breathing at all. Couldn’t find a pulse, so I tried to do CPR. I knew it was too late, but I tried anyway.”

            “Dale, why do you still blame yourself? If you would just listen to what you just told me today, you are a hero. You saved that one girl and tried heroically to save the girl that got burned and you tried against all odds to save Shelby.”

            “Maybe I can’t blame a kid for what happened that day. Maybe I have to take responsibility for not closing the lower fields. Maybe I don’t want to open up and get hurt like that ever again. I should have never let Shelby get on that horse. I knew that thoroughbred was trouble.”

            “Dale, Shelby loved riding that thoroughbred. You had a hard time saying “no” to her when she really enjoyed something didn’t you?”

            “Yeah, you know how she was. She’d screw that nose up and get that look in her eyes that would just melt my heart.”

            “Dad always said that about her. She had him wrapped around her little finger from the time she took her first breath. She charmed us all.”

            “Why couldn’t she charm death away? She got everything she ever wanted out of life with her charm and grace. Why did she have to ride that ridge, that day? Why didn’t I hold her reins tighter?” 

            “Dale, the driver on the dirt bike says she hit your horse and knocked everyone off the ridge. Something cut the fuel line and started the fire. You know that’s what happened.”

            “I know she says that and part of me wants to think that might be what happened, but a big part of me still does not believe it. Part of me believes I am going to walk into that market tonight and find this girl who is just trying to forget about being dumped again. A big part of me wants to believe that.”

            “Dale, what you and Shelby had was beautiful. Lord knows she had her share of bad relationships with men, but she runs into you that night and she enjoyed life again. You have to believe in what you gave her Dale.”

            “But Doc, didn’t I take it all away in that one instant?”

            “You gave her the life we all wanted her to find, and she was happy. Look, my sister was a great person and she loved you, the ranch and everything you built together. It’s been four years Dale. Four long years. Maybe you should think about letting her go?”

            “Outside that ranch, Shelby was my life. I didn’t date much, but she stole my heart and she still has it with her.”

            “I believe she would give it to you so you could get on with the rest of your life if you wanted to Dale.”

            “I’ve got a good life. I put pieces of it together pretty quick after the funeral. We buried the horses, we buried Shelby  and I got a new herd to work. I enjoy what I do.”

            “Still feel pretty empty though don’t you?”

            “Well, I fill that hole with the ranch.”

            “So I noticed.  How many acres did you just buy?”

            “About five hundred for pasture land.”

            “That’s a plenty big empty space you’re filling Dale. Add to that five hundred acres about fifteen hundred since Shelby died and all at a time when ranches are selling off land to stay afloat.”

            “I know, but it’s filled. We going to lunch today Doc?”

            “Yes, we can. Mom and Dad are meeting us at the City Diner, if that’s okay?”

            “Sure, but we can’t carry the session into lunch and I got to get back to the ranch before Sandy decides the rest of the ranch hands are too lazy and fires the whole lot of’em.”

Reviews

[DarkAngelWriter]

Wow. Her sister? Dale confides in Shelby's sister? Wow. I was almost crying in this chapter. You did amazing. Wow...