Chapter 2: A String of Misfortunes

Against their knowledge, Alana and Nic were not only being followed by the hand of the King, but also by two burly fellows by the names of Skullcrusher and Norman. Skullcrusher was a nickname that Norman had given his good friend, not because he had an act for crushing skulls as one might conclude, but, rather, he was quite a clumsy fellow, always bumping his head against things.

Skullcrusher was a large, stocky man who rose to approximately six feet in height. He was swiftly nearing forty, and his lustrous black hair found itself thinning at about the same pace. He blamed his father for this. And, though he’d always wanted fierce black eyes to match his hair, his sockets were blessed instead with balls of baby blue. He also blamed his father for this.

Like Skullcrusher, Norman was a rather large man as well, though less stocky. Or, perhaps, his stock was simply spread over a greater surface area considering that he was merely a few inches short of seven feet. He had hazel eyes and a full head of chestnut colored hair that Skullcrusher absolutely hated him for. Norman would attempt to assuage his friend by reminding him that he was three years younger. This did not make Skullcrusher feel any better.

The two men had long been delving into the art of get-rich-quick schemes. Skullcrusher was the ‘brain’ behind nearly every one. Norman followed along because it was  ‘something to do’. This was their third major attempt at striking gold. Their first was a simple bank robbery. They dressed in long black cloaks with hoods to cover their faces and carried swords at their sides. Coincidentally, the guards at the bank dressed in similar attire and thought that the two men were there to relieve them from their shifts.

Skullcrusher and Norman guarded the bank for twelve consecutive hours, at the end of which they each received a small pension. One could make the argument that this scheme did not completely end in failure because they did leave with money in their pockets, though not nearly as much as they’d hoped for.

Their second major attempt was a cow farm consisting mostly (well, solely) of stolen cows. They’d intended to use the cows to sell a variety of goods, including milk, cream, cheese, and meat. This scheme quickly came to a halt when Norman found that he quite liked cows and thought that they ‘deserved a chance to be happy’, so he developed a sort of scheme of his own. This entailed sneaking out in the middle of the night and opening the fence to let the cows escape. Even with quite a bit of convincing on Norman’s part, none of the cows would budge. He proceeded to pull the cows out one by one and disperse them randomly across town. This gave rise to the phrase ‘seeing cows’ which was used to suggest the loss of one’s mind. That is certainly what many people thought had happened when they woke up the next morning to a cow standing in their yard.

The attempt that the two men were currently working on had to do with capturing a criminal in return for a generous reward promised by the King of Avonia. It wasn’t just any criminal that His Majesty was after, however. It was none other than Alana.

“Are you sure she’s the one?” Norman asked.

Skullcrusher sighed. “Look, Norman, we’ve been over this a thousand times.” He pulled a sketch from his pocket and showed it to Norman. “Tell me there’s any difference between that girl right there,” he said, pointing to Alana. “And the girl in this sketch.”

“Well, no, but … “

“Exactly,” Skullcrusher insisted, ripping the paper from Norman’s hands and shoving it back into his pocket. “There’s no difference.”

“There could be a lot of girls who look like that, though,” Norman said. “What if we bring  the King the wrong one?”

“We won’t, Norman. This is her. My gut tells me this is her.”

That didn’t make Norman feel any better. Skullcrusher’s gut told him a lot of things. Most of them were wrong.

“Besides,” Skullcrusher added. “We wouldn’t even be going through all this trouble if you hadn’t let all those blasted cows out.”

Skullcrusher enjoyed reminding Norman of this folly. “I already said I was sorry for that,” he said.

“Well, you should be,” Skullcrusher grumbled.

Norman was in fact sorry for what he’d done, though not half as sorry as Skullcrusher thought he should be.

Anxious to move to a different subject, Norman shifted his attention back to Alana and said, “I guess I just expected her to look a little more, er … like a criminal.”

“Yeah,” Skullcrusher agreed. “She is rather small, ain’t she?”

“And a woman,” Norman added.

“Yeah, but these women, Norman … You don’t wanna underestimate them. Sure, they’re pretty and seem sweet and all, but that is just to get you alone with them.” Skullcrusher shuddered. “That’s when the claws come out.”

“I’m sure not all of them are like your wife, Skullcrusher. Some of them must be nice.”

Skullcrusher shook his head. “They’re not. Trust me on this, Norman. They’re not.”

~

Alana and Nic had stopped running and were now walking at a brisk pace through the forest. Alana was certain that Roland had given up by now. It usually didn’t take him long to do so. She turned to look at Nic and saw that his mouth was moving. He was still talking. He liked to talk. He’d started talking a while ago, and, unfortunately for him, she’d stopped listening around the same time.

Of course, she knew this about him. She’d always enjoyed watching him at the orphanage. He could talk to anyone about anything, even subject matter (if one could call it that) which she found to be incredibly boring, like what was for dinner and how one felt about what was for dinner. It was a skill that she struggled to comprehend but also secretly admired him for.

Suddenly, she realized that she hadn’t yet retrieved her bow and stopped abruptly.

“What is it?” Nic asked.

“I have to go back.”

“What for?”

“My bow. I left it over there.” She pointed vaguely in the direction they’d come from.

“Specific,” Nic said sarcastically. Alana Rolled her eyes.

He let out a partially suppressed groan and said, Okay, do you know exactly where you left it?”

“Yes … I think.”

This time Nic didn’t attempt to suppress his groan. “Okay, let’s go back for it then.” He started to move in that direction, but Alana blocked his path.

“You don’t have to come, you know,” she said. “ I don’t need you.” Alana didn’t mean for her words to sound so harsh. She simply meant that she’d been on her own a long time and was perfectly capable of taking care of herself.  

Nic knew this, yet couldn’t help but feel hurt by the words. He longed to feel needed by someone, but, if he couldn’t have that, he at least longed for a friend. He hoped he could be her friend, but it appeared to him that she hadn’t changed much since the orphanage. If anything, the walls she’d built around herself had become even sturdier and had no intention of letting anyone pass through anytime soon. He wanted her friendship but she obviously didn’t want his. She would push him away like she always had.

Even so, he found himself saying, “I’m still coming with you.”

Alana straightened slightly, surprised. She wasn’t used to being in the company of someone who was there of his own free will. She scratched her head as she turned and started walking back in the direction from which they came. It was unclear to her where she had gone wrong, but she decided not to worry about it. It wouldn’t take long for Nic’s free will to tell him to get the hell away from her. He would leave eventually. They always did.

~

Roland had been lurking behind a tree for a while now, waiting for Alana to retrieve her bow. He found himself growing faint from extreme boredom. Or, was it hunger? As if it heard Roland’s query, his stomach let out a low growl, confirming the latter to be true.

“Shut up, boy!” His father snapped.

At his father’s command, Roland attempted to suppress this involuntary physical response to hunger. He tried not to think about food, which, in doing so, made him think about food because he was thinking about not thinking about food. Before he could even comprehend what had happened, his mind had become a zoo of food-related thoughts.

And his stomach a chorus of food-related growls.

He was leaning against the tree now in a dream-like state, his mouth watering relentlessly, when he heard footsteps. He straightened and put a hand on the hilt of his sword.

He was readying himself for attack when one Nic came into view and zero Alana. Nic was scanning the ground, searching for what Roland presumed to be Alana’s bow. Suddenly, his eyes drifted to a white object on the ground, half buried in leaves. He moved toward it.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Roland thought. He had neglected to take Nic’s presence into account when he concocted this scheme. Nic picked up the bow and Roland let out a string of curses under his breath. Alana did not make this easy for him. Then again, why would she?

All of the sudden, Alana came into view. For a brief second, her eyes fixed on the tree that Roland was standing behind. He quickly pulled himself out of view, steadying his breathing as best he could.

Her eyes drifted over to Nic who was standing with one hand behind his back, hiding the bow from view. She nodded towards his hidden arm and asked, “Whatcha got there?”

He shrugged. “Nothing.”

She walked toward him and attempted to reach for his arm, but he playfully backed away. “I swear Alana,” he said, grinning mischievously. “I don’t have your bow.”

“Or your life if you don’t hand that thing over.”

Nic raised his eyebrows. “How are you going to do that? You don’t have a weapon remember?” He was right. She didn’t have a weapon. Alana didn’t think about that.

“I know a few other ways,” she said while trying to think of a few other ways.

Nic pulled the bow from behind his back and held it toward her, but pulled it away as she reached for it. Nic studied the bow, remarking on its elegance. It was a rather elegant bow, white with designs painted in gold across the arc, but Nic could care less about these features. He was just having fun, and Alana knew that. She let out an exasperated sigh and leaned against a tree. Not just any tree, though. The tree that Roland was hiding behind.

She was so close. So close that Roland could reach out and grab her if he wanted, if he dared. But, then he thought about Nic. What would he do? Would he try to defend her? Nic was lean, but he also looked strong. Roland supposed that he was rather strong too (if he said so himself). He flexed his bicep and nodded at it approvingly. Then, he shook his head. He didn’t have time for that. He had to focus. If Nic did defend Alana and Roland found himself in a brawl with Nic, he knew that Alana would not stay and help Nic. She would run. If he did this, he’d risk her getting away again. He took a deep breath. That was a risk that he’d have to take.

He was poised and ready for attack. He could do this. He would do this. It was about time that this game came to an end. Just as he began to make his move, two large men appeared out of what Roland surmised to be nowhere. He had no choice but to retreat back behind the tree. One of them grabbed Nic from behind and the other took Alana. Of course these two men were none other than Skullcrusher and Norman. Roland did not know about their presence, nor was he prepared for it in the least.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Roland thought. He watched as Skullcrusher and Norman walked off, dragging Nic and Alana at their sides. His head met the tree in a matter that could be described as many things but certainly not gentle. He could not believe his luck.

After a bit of wallowing, self-loathing, and wondering how painful it was for King Saul when he threw himself onto his own sword, Roland finally managed to collect himself.

No, he thought. I will not give up this time. He started walking in the direction that the four had gone. He did not let himself grow concerned that he could no longer see Alana or Nic or the two b******s that messed everything up because he knew he’d find them. And, when he did, he’d kill them all. And, then perhaps himself while he was at it.

Reviews

[Kent Rawski]

this shifted into a comical phase not unlike laurel and hardy but still well done

[Diabolicalbeard]

This takes me to a another world were i feel warm i enjoyed it

[Caroline]

That's exactly what I want people to feel. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[Diabolicalbeard]

Awesome job i like ur mindset absolutely interesting