If You Don't Let Me

This is a poem that describes being in a relationship with someone that takes one for granted

There is so much to say; I don�t know where to start.
I guess the best point to begin is to speak from the heart.
The more I reach out for you; the more you run away from me.
It seems like the distance between us exceeds infinity.

It�s not like I�m asking for your number after you said no all night.
But it�s like your filing a restraining order right after you have given me the green light.
And when I take a hint and try to go my own way.
You blow up my phone like 9/11 the following day.

I want to understand you, but you will always be a mystery.
The more I seek and ask questions; the more you evade me.
When I try to talk to you, you want space and to be left alone.
However, when I start to walk, you won�t let me be on my own.

I�m not perfect, but I try to be considerate so you don�t regret me.
However, I cannot love you if you don�t let me.
Even if you are terminally ill because of an incurable disease,
Don�t push me away until I am at your gravesite, mourning on my knees.

You have been through hell; no one will argue that point.
You kept yourself together under pressure that puts other people in the joint.
I am not Jesus; I cannot heal all of your wounds.
I am not Donald Trump; I cannot purchase the moon.

I can give you my respect and undying admiration.
I can show you my heart without stipulation.
I can show you my actions with continuous dedication.
I can give you those things without the promise of penetration.

But I cannot give any of myself without getting a piece of you.
I am not referring to your body: your mind and your heart are the things that make you.
I have my faults, but I try to do the things that will make you not want to forget me.
However, I cannot love you, if you don�t let me.

You say you don�t need him or want him anymore.
But if you think he�s coming over, I�m treated like a pet being pushed out the back door
You say you don�t want to make it official, or let the words cross your lip.
But how do you have a relationship outside of a relationship?

You say he was abusive and went upside your head.
If he is so dangerous, why is he at the hospital, standing next to your bed?
You say he is your child�s father, and I should let it be.
But if he hit you while you were pregnant, aren�t both of your lives in jeopardy?

If we are together, why do I feel like I am in a race?
If your �baby daddy� is in the picture, I always come in last place.
I can take rejection, respect your decision; but I am not your tool.
I am not a yo-yo, and I will no longer be your ready-made fool.

Trying to love someone that does not love you is bad for your health.
Sometimes, the best thing is to leave them be and continue to love yourself.
I can continue to associate with you and still be your friend.
But I cannot continue being a convenient stand in.

If I continue on with them, where will my self-esteem be?
I�ll be putting myself through Hell for all of eternity
I cannot be with you if you continue to neglect me.
I cannot love you if you don�t let me.

Reviews

[Kallima]

Oh I really like this one and can empathize with some parts and can feel your empathy implied as well... can't wait to hear you perform this piece! Good job.

[Tara Jean Olson]

this is so well written.