It Only Takes One Day

This was the autobiographical essay; the first one due. It was to be about an important event that happened which produced a change.

 

With snow falling outside my windowpane, I am standing in my dorm room with my tall, handsome boyfriend. I am looking into his big, hazel eyes as he nods at me with encouragement. My heart is racing as I slowly make my way down the dark corridor towards the room at the end of the hall. As I enter the sterile-like atmosphere of the girls’ laboratory, tears spring to my eyes and I start to feel queasy. I look at the stick and realize my fate. Numbly, I walk down that same black corridor, back to my room. He’s lying on my bed watching G4 TV. As I enter, he sees the answer written all over my face. I look at him while the tears stream down my face.

Looking back on that day, I still cannot believe how much my life changed in a matter of minutes. In that instant, I went from being a student and fiancée with no cares in the world to having to be a leader, role model, and caretaker; to sum it all up in one word: a mom.

Stricken, I look at Jay and say, “It’s positive.”

“I know honey. It’s okay. We’ll figure something out.”

Panic started setting in. “No it won’t be okay! What are your parents going to say? What are my mom and grandparents going to say? I’m not ready for this and neither are you!”

My mind was racing a mile a minute. Trying to calm my nerves, I took a deep breath.

With a steadier voice, I look back at him and say, “We’re going to be parents.”

At that point, I felt like my life was over, as though the entire weight of the world was crashing down on my shoulders. No longer could I hang out with my friends or pledge the business fraternity I wanted to join. Essentially, my social life would come to a complete halt. I had to start eating healthy, exercising, and becoming a “mom”. I ultimately dropped out of college to ensure the safety of myself and unborn child since, in Mansfield, PA, it was already snowing (the campus is all hills and covered in sheets of ice). This was honestly one of the hardest decisions I had ever made and making it completely crushed me. College was a dream that I had had since I was in middle school.

Getting the necessities for a baby and preparing the nursery made the next nine months blur by.

Suddenly it was July 5, 2005 at 4:30 in the afternoon. Jay and I were lying on our king-sized bed relaxing before he had to get ready for work. I coughed and felt a completely unfamiliar rush of liquid. I sat straight up in bed, terrified that labor was starting. I quickly called the doctor and asked for an emergency appointment. She rushed me in, checked me, and verified that my water had broken.

“It’s off to the hospital for you two. I’ll meet you there in a little while,” she said.

I felt excitement for our impending arrival but also a growing amount of fear. The only thing I could think of was how much was this going to hurt? Am I going to be a good mom? What if something goes wrong? My growing fear was starting to consume my mind and I could not breathe. I took a few deep, steadying breaths to calm down. In my heart, I knew everything was going to be okay. God was going to take care of little Kristi and me.

After arriving at the hospital, getting checked in, and settling into my delivery room, I just sat and waited for some news on my progress. After about an hour, a short nurse with brown hair checked me and informed me I was not dilating fast enough.

“We’re going to have to put you on Pitocin to try to speed up the dilation,” she said.

At this point, my contractions were not bad so Pitocin had no meaning to me. About two hours after the drug had started in my IV, my contractions were one right on top of the other. I had never felt any pain like this in my life! With each contraction, I couldn’t breathe. All I could do was cry! Finally, I was able to receive some oral pain medicine. Unfortunately, all that did was make me sleep, not help with the pain. I was waking up with each contraction, still in horrible pain! After about two hours of immeasurable pain, I finally received what is every mother’s dream: the epidural. After that, I was great!

 

My nurse-mid-wife finally gave me the go ahead to start pushing after being in labor for more than fourteen hours. Twenty minutes later, my beautiful, 7 lb. 9.4 oz baby girl was finally in this world. Until this point, I had never known what love was. Then they placed that little pink bundle in my arms. She looked at me and cooed as I started to cry. It was honestly the most amazing experience of my life!

I knew right then and there that I had to change my life. I had to be the absolute best person I could be so I could raise her to be a wonderful human being. Every day is a new challenge, from routines to health to eating to sleeping. If it had not been for the birth of my daughter, I would not be the woman I am today. I have learned patience, kindness, and compassion like I have never known before. I continue to grow and learn each and every day just as she does. Being a parent has changed me in such a positive way and I do not think I could ask for anything better.