Seeking Nightmare

A poem about a man who has an unhealthful desire for tragedy.

 

          An unnatural desire for tragedy;

          A self-destructive attachment to sadness -

          like dancing in the rain during a thunderstorm,

          waiting for that fateful bolt to strike.

         

          I’ll take anything to fill the void

          that never ceases to close itself;

          It crawls inside, beneath my skin,

          eating away at everything (once) holy.

          I welcome its presence.

 

          I yearn for the pity of friends and foes;

          I crave their tears that sting with pain.

          I pretend to suffer and mourn on the outside,

          but there’s always a smile deep within.

 

          When a friend calls and says his dear

          mother has fallen ill, I can’t help but feel      

          excitement that something is happening.

          And I think to myself: her death will

          bring people together.

         

          I cry when I am alone in my bed at night.

          Not because of the death of a loved one,

          or because of regrets from the past.

          No, I cry because I want to, and that is it.

 

          After it happens, when it is all said and done,

          I tell myself I don’t want it anymore -

          I want to change, I want to be normal.

          But a week later I’m empty inside and my search     

          for disaster starts all over.

 

          Will it ever end, will I ever be at peace?

          I think we know the answer, so next time

          you see me, please shed a tear because

          my love for tragedy knows no bounds.

Reviews

[darkgurl]

WOW!! Such a powerful write full of raw emotion. Depression hurts....Kim

[Theresa Colella]

Hmm...Miles, are you depressed?
Ah, my life is dull and boring and I will die!
hahaha, just kidding. Very powerful poem.

I like it, especially the part about "Dancing in the rain during a thunderstorm"

your sister, Theresa

[Bill Grimes Jr.]

Misery is an acquired taste my friend.....from years of depression, pessimism and low self esteem. The distinct lack of hope represents a black hole within your soul......The inner peace comes from acceptance that you are fragile and sensitive......human.....That is the first important step in spiritual growth. I love the truth in your work.....Honest and smash mouth.......I pray you find that peace you seek through God......He loves you dearly and you are not alone.

Bill :-)