When Night Falls

This is a piece that focuses on setting and mood. The setting is a city at night and the mood is darkness and sin.

 

            The moon casts over the night, watching me as I creep along the dark, empty streets. The streets are silent, the sidewalks naked. No one sees me, only the moon. The black sky is bearing down on me, imposing its dark will upon my even darker soul. It tears me open and makes me do evil things.

            There’s a black cat across the street. The cat watches me. It creeps along like I do, imitating my every step. But this cat isn’t a cat. It’s the devil incarnate. The devil is checking up on me to make sure I’m serving him well. We’ve met before.

            If you dance with the devil, the devil don’t change. The devil changes you.

            I heard someone say this once. And it’s true. I’ve changed. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be out here now with a switchblade in my front pocket. And there would be no need for this 9mm semi-automatic handgun.

            But there is. On these streets, you always have to be packing heat. For instance, the guy walking behind me, he’s following me. I know what he wants. He wants money, or worse, sex. That’s how it is out here at night. When the sky darkens, the freaks come out. Rapists, thieves, murderers, pedophiles, they’re all around me. The only question is who’s who. Is the long-haired man in the trench coat behind me a thief or a rapist? He’s looking around all paranoid, so I know he’s up to no good.

            Not that I’m a saint. But I’d never rape anyone.

            This other guy coming out of the bar doesn’t look too straight either. He just slipped something into his pocket real quick, and I have a feeling it’s not legal. And it looks like he’s got a spot of blood on his leather jacket. One spot of blood means he cleaned up the rest. That’s never a good sign.

            I never trust a lonely man coming out of a bar at three in the morning. Especially when it’s a full moon. Only bad things happen when the moon is full. Then again, bad things always happen, no matter the size of the moon. Something bad is going to happen tonight.

            The only other figure I see is a young teenage girl across the street, sitting alone on the sidewalk. She’s curled up in a ball, weeping uncontrollably. Her mascara runs down her face as a river of tears floods her eyes. She runs her sweaty hands through her messy blonde hair, pulling at the black streaks embedded within.

            The long-haired man creeps up besides her, feeding his hands into his wide, oversized pockets. He sits down next to her and stares at her strange, eyes twitching, body shaking nervously. He moves in close and sniffs her hair, inhaling and exhaling deep like a pederast. He moves closer, and runs his dirty hands through her hair.

            “Get the hell off me!” the girl swats his hands away.

            As the girl struggles to escape, the man pulls tight on her hair and throws her down. He hits her hard in the nose, and then even harder in the mouth. Blood spills from her right nostril and mixes with the mascara, creating a black-red waterfall of pain. He picks her up by the waist and carries her into an alley. Her screams grow louder, and shoot through my ears. She cries for help and begs for mercy, but none is given.

            I want to help, but I don’t. It’s none of my business. It’s not my problem. I turn away. I never look back. I just follow the moon and do the devil’s dues. Into the night I run. I run fast, to escape her screams. Because I don’t have time to listen to her scream. Not her. There’s someone waiting for me, and she wants me to hear her scream. Or at least that’s what He tells me. He tells me it’s her time to go. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. I do what he says. Whatever the cost. Because there is no cost too great. Like I said; if you dance with the devil, the devil don’t change. The devil changes you.

Author's Note

did I capture the mood well? should the setting be more detailed?

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

visceral, haunting and desolate writing here. You definitely captured the mood. I especially liked the idea of the black cat being the devil incarnate. This piece alludes to a larger story. What would bring a person to this situation? Well done.

[R. Geier]

I liked the way you began this piece. You can imagine it visually but it gives a sort of mental landscape of the speaker. When I got into the details about the long haired man and the creepy girl it made me step outside of the speaker long enough for the last paragraph to be very effective.