Prologue-Some Say

 

' Some people used to say the worst thing you could ever see was a parent's grief.That the sheer force of it could destroy cities,move mountains or take apart civilisations.But for those without children their grief was no less vengeful. Many times it could be worse.Now grief is commonplace something you see on a day to day basis.The one single thing that can still cause people to have that shiver down their spine.That cold sweat.Fear personified.The only thing that can still cause that is insanity.Around here insanity can cause the most rational people to do savage inhuman things.Turn themselves into monsters.Around here...insanity is catching.' 

      * 

  It was the noise that awoke the two boys. One inside a tent the other sat outside it. He cursed to himself for falling asleep and ran his hand through his hair. He could feel the grit in it. It had been a long time since it had been washed. It had been a long time since either of the boys had had a wash. Sheathing the knife he had been brandishing into a makeshift leather pouch on his belt he lent into the tent. 

"Si wake up! Car!" He hissed to the boy just coming out of his slumber. Si gave a groggy mutter to the boy before crawling out the tent. 

"We need to get moving now,pack up your stuff leave the tent." 

The boy started scrambling his possessions whilst Si did the same. The noise grew louder. There was no mistaking it now. It was a car. Not good. Dead leaves crunched under the weight of something approaching. The breaking leaves were the only noise that permeated the otherwise silent forest surrounding the two boys. Si crouched next to the older boy looking at him fear evident. 

"What do we do?" He whispered burning blue eyes filling with tears. 

"Stay quiet and don't make a noise." Came the reply. 

"But he could help us!" With that Si ran from the edge of the tent towards the noise. 

"S**t! Si get here now!" Si had already burst through the ash coated bushes into the side of a well built man. Si looked at the man. Early thirties with dark eyes. Ragged hair matted with dirt. Hunting jacket and jeans on. A rifle too. He whimpered as the man looked at him and smiled showing his lack of teeth. The teeth that remained had long since rotted. 

"What do we have here? You lost son?" Even though it was an innocent enough question something about it unsettled Si. He shook his head before crawling backwards towards the undergrowth of the forest. He had come onto the remains of a main road. The cement had cracked a while ago but it was still usable. The only indication there was something wrong with it was the amount of weeds that now stuck through the cracks of the now abandoned road. 

Si had almost reached the edge of the forest before the man had caught up to him. He grabbed Si's ankle and lifted him with ease. 

"Don't be runnin' off now. You'll miss dinner." The man snarled at him. The malice and intent unmistakable now. Fear pounded into Si. He was going to die and he knew it. 

"DAN!" No reply. Not good. He tried again before the man covered his mouth. A pungent smell entered Si's nostrils and he almost passed out. He bit down hard and the man yelped before being tackled to the ground. Si saw a flash of dirty black hair before Dan and his captor tumbled into the undergrowth. The noises he could hear were more leaves breaking and the occasional grunt from either of the men. Then it came. The sound of a fist hitting flesh. Again and again it repeated. Another yelp followed by a loud crack. Si cowered not knowing who had called out with only the silence accompanying him. He could hear more leaves cracking and it was apparent someone was making their way back up. More fear hit him. If Dan had died he was surely next. He shut his eyes not wanting to see who it was. 

"Never leave me again ok?" 

He opened his eyes and saw Dan hunched slightly at the edge of the road. His hair and face were covered in blood. The once pristine shirt he had on had turned a mixture of dirt brown and blood red. He'd been hurt. He was clutching his side. Dan had been hurt because of his slip up. Tears formed in his eyes and he nodded. They started to fall. He ran to Dan before hugging his brother tight sobbing softly. 

  * 

'Few of the values of the Old World remain. First went faith followed by trust. Not long after most humane notions got lost. Money was the last thing to go as is always the case. People clung to it like it still mattered until they realised if they had the firepower they could get anything they desired. 

Only love remained. Not the love portrayed from tales of old. Where the hero fought off dozens of evil doers for his love but love in its most simplest form. It drove people to do horrible things. To kill another human so their family could eat. Others less horrible. They killed to protect their loved ones from the monsters humanity had become. Finally there were the few that did amazing things for love. Two boys one not even a teenager the other barely a man. Bonded by love. Driven by the need to find their older brother. The obstacles that presented themselves meant nothing. As long as they were side by side not even the fires in the distance could halt their journey. Travelling since the bombs dropped the older brother had raised his sibling in the remains of this world. Not once did they even believe their eldest brother could be dead. Love had never died for them. Love...and hope."

Reviews

[The Winter Grey]

I thoroughly enjoyed this prologue. It is well-written enough as a whole, but I am a man who fixates on details, and yours left a strong impression. Things like Si's apprehension and dread, not knowing whether Dan or the stranger was the one doing the beating can be the difference between a bland story and one that takes on a life of its own. Also, I liked how you took the time to summarize the general collapse of society - the way people still tried to cling to money when money was nothing more than paper was particilarly effective. It's hard not to draw comparisons to Cormac McCarthy's "The Road" (I've never read the book but the premise is quite similar to your own . . . at least at this early point) but of course every work is its own, and you've gotten yours off to a swell start.

[cynicalbeliever]

The Winter Grey, thank you for the review,every point you've said has been what I've aimed for and its nice to see someone understood where I was coming from. As for The Road, in all honesty it started out as a Road fanfic but now in my drafts it's taken a life of it's own. The next chapter is already up and I'm working on another,let me know what you think,hope you like them.

[John F Carver]

This would make a wonderful first chapter, and it shows promise, and I like the way you reveal the world to us after making that statement that sounded so much like our own, and then to find it is--what?--post apocalyptic or at the very lease the opposite of utopian.