Gypsy Soul

I was slightly scarred, I was marked, I was young at heart

I gave you so little, and took so much, and I broke you

Together wasn't quite enough, and forever's a matter of luck

It always came to an end just to start again 

different people, different place, same song

I wanted you to see I was free, wanted you to see you couldn't hold me

But all I did was show a gypsy soul gets you lost

I could've had you and love, and I gave it up to show I was tough

But all I did was show I was weak, all I did was show how scared

I'd become from running

The simple words that we spoke

Had been stitched in the palm of your hand,

And whispered fables and myths 

From every place that I'd been,

Tattooed on the back of my neck

I saw your color blue in every sky

And I saw my green in every valley

And when I saw them both together

I knew I had been selfish, I knew I had been cruel

So I came back to you, I came back to you

I had built myself as wild, free, and running

Living on memories and stories half-remembered

You changed me for just a moment, stopped time, my heart had been stolen

I had always been the gypsy thief, but this time you took from me

And I knew why I came back to you

Cause your voice was familiar and true

And my green was brilliant with your blue

And you had tamed the wanderer in me

Tamed my soul, but I was still a gypsy,

Just happier there in your light

 

Reviews

Really enjoyed reading this. The title reminds me of an ole Van Morrison song... think it was called "Into the Mystic" if I remember right.

Anyways, I really love the pace, rhythm, and the rhyming done within the poem. It's quite swell if I must say so with a british accent swirling his cup of tea in a fine elegant stance with admiration in his facial expressions. It's a very well-established monologue about someone, certainly female, who comes to terms with the things happening within a relationship that seem to occur between them and their partner. Atleast, that's what I can concur with myself about the underlining story about/within the poem. And certainly I must admit that your metaphors do a remarkable job establishing emotions and actions which are brought out in the poem.
One thing though, in aspect of constructive criticism, about poetry is that it's composed mainly of sentence fragments (resembles sentence structure, but doesn't make a complete sentence)... once you start using complete sentences, you're getting into one of the hardest types of poetry which is known as prose-poetry. The thing I'm mainly hinting towards is the use of a period in poetry... really in poetry, the true period is a line-break (when one line ends and new one begins). Basically it's the resemblance of a period in the matter of pausing before starting a new line rather than in complete sentence structure where it represents the ending of a phrase/sentence. So remember that there's no real need for periods in poetry, line-breaks represent that aspect.
Also, there's bit of grammatical errors, such as in line 2 and stanza 3, line 9.
Though Overall, I find this to be fabulous writing... definitely talent is what I'm seeing here. I think a 94/100 is a perfect score for this. Keep up the good work, and hope to hear more from you.

[Etoiles]

I really enjoyed reading this. Particularly the first two stanzas, they just really resonate.

[Kes]

Aww, this is great.
A fantastic piece. :) I love it.

[Zane Mathias]

AWesome Poem!!!!! great flow a rhythmic beauty! I am looking forward to reading more of your writing!

Ps: check out my poem called The Gypsie's moon!!!

[Vedant Goenka]

like a Video clip playing as i read it.. sheerrr briliance.. right from the "Fist size pump beating inside u keeping u alive" .. loved the last stanze the most.. hats off!!

[The Analog Kid]

Very lyrical and nicely done....a gypsy is free and bound at the same time.

[screamin'ian]

Beautiful

[*]

I read this throgh three times. This is a great piece of poetry about someone seeing the realization of her circumstances. The metaphor between the green and the blue is a nice example of chemistry between the two. You did a really nice job on this. Bravo. I'll be reading more soon.

[TheSweet]

I really like this, it's a summary and a snapshot of the life. It's always important to find who you really are, and sometimes it's not always exactly what you wish you could be - but happiness is the important factor.

The gypsy life has never been as free as it sounds. Thanks for sharing :)

[Kenneth The Poet]

Keep it up, Gypsy. I like it. I think it would look nicer in a different font personally, but there is nothing else wrong with it. It's a beautiful piece.